Hitting, kicking, biting, and general acts of revenge. — The Bump
October 2012 Moms

Hitting, kicking, biting, and general acts of revenge.

We've touched on this before, but every day our kids are gaining more language and comprehension skills — I'm wondering what you are doing now to combat this behavior. Henry is a hitter and definitely swings at me when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes multiple times. I'm really torn about how to handle this myself, so I'm curious to hear everyone's approach.
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Re: Hitting, kicking, biting, and general acts of revenge.

  • We're still all about distraction. Generally just taking her outside does the trick. If she wants to bite, I give her something to bite - like part of my clothing or something.
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  • Timeouts. She has to have timeout somewhere soft. We always used our steps for ds but they are hard wood and dd throws her head back when she has a fit so that doesn't work.
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  • C has been hitting a lot. It gets an immediate time out. We sit her in her chair in her room and leave her there with the door open. She stays for 2 minutes or until she chills out and climbs down, whichever is first. Then she has to apologize to whomever she hit. I think the timeouts help? Often when she starts getting sassy I'll ask if she wants time out, and she will say no and sorry and calm down a bit.
  • C has a tendency to do the wet noodle thing or flop around like a fish when she's freaking out, so we never have an issue with her moving out of time out. I deposit her in the time out spot and she immediately flops onto the ground and wails pathetically. So she doesn't really go far.
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  • He doesn't really hit, but when he does, just holding his hands down and a firm "NO" is enough to make him stop. We do timeouts for other things though, and I do sit with him, since i don't think he would stay there himself. Generally if he is misbehaving, he is either hungry, tired, or needs to burn off some energy/is overstimulated. 

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  • I think we will try more consistent timeouts. It's crazy, Henry will just look at me stone face and hit me half a dozen times. I've tried slapping his hand (I don't like that, seems counterintuitive to me), giving him stern looks, firmly saying no, timeouts, and holding his hand, or a combination thereof. But even when he's not emotional and something doesn't go his way, his first inclination is to hit (even inanimate objects).

    When we do timeouts, we put him in his room and shut the door and leave. He doesn't seem to understand that he can open the door and leave, because he screams and bangs at the door when we do that. We stopped putting him in his crib for timeouts because we didn't want the crib to be associated with a punishment. 
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  • A doesn't seem interested in hitting or biting - just just goes limp noodle and lays down in the floor.  Anywhere we are.  Target, the mall, middle of the road on the way to the park.  People laugh (because it really is kind of funny if you're not in the middle of it) and she thinks it's hysterical.  

    My cousin said the only way she could get her daughter to stop hitting/biting herself and others was to completely wrap her up in her arms.  Holding her down.  Not squishing or anything, just holding firmly so she couldn't flail and hurt someone.  She said her family was appalled, but it's what her doc recommended, and it worked.  Now that her daughter is holder (pre-teen, I think.  maybe early teens) when she gets really mad, she excuses herself from the room and goes and wraps up in her blanket till she calms down.

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  • DS hits and bites - alot.  I was doing timeouts but they weren't working plus he was getting all my attention.  So now I ignore.  If he hits or bites me I saw I won't play with people who hit/bite and I walk away from him.  He mostly offends at home.  

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