ignorance is bliss?

Ann612 · November 2014

Another discussion got me to thinking all the silly things I thought when we first started trying:

We started just by having sex a lot, especially around the middle of the cycle (this is especially funny given I O'd at day 5 this cycle), thinking that was all it took
I pushed off starting for 4 extra months because I had a huge business trip coming up that I didn't want to be pregnant for
We had originally not planned any vacation this year because "surely I would be pregnant in 2014"

What are the things you did/thought in the beginning that seem totally silly now?

Tiko99 · November 2014

Love this post.....

1. I should have gone off my BCP sooner

2. I should have never stressed so much and taken Plan B because apparently a break in a condom WILL NOT get me preggers lol

3. I used to be obsessed with the baby name board because I thought I would get preggers under a year and here I am 2.5 years later and I rarely visit that board because it makes me depressed

4. I did the same thing with vacation and stopped tracking my ovulation for a few months so I wouldn't be pregnant before my vacation....wasted months I feel now

5. When I first started treatments I was so convinced it would work I started buying baby stuff so now I have a ton of baby stuff and no baby....I need to learn patience

EmeJay · November 2014

Well, it doesn't seem really "silly" to me because it's what's "supposed" to happen, you know?

We did wait one month to start because we went on a beach trip and I wanted to drink, ah!

wifeofafarmer · November 2014

We had done a few months of NTNP but we just knew that I'd get KU within the first few months of trying. We just knew it. We were so excited, we went into one of our spare bedrooms that we decided would be the nursery & we figured out where EVERYTHING was going to go and where we would put the furniture that's already in there.

We spent hours looking at girl names because we've had a boys name picked out since within 2 months of dating.

With each upcoming holiday or family event I spent hours deciding on just the right way to announce our big news - even spent hours watching announcements on YouTube to help with timing, details and whatnot. Yes, I am that OCD.

I spent hours on Pinterest looking at nursery ideas & color schemes, outfits, accessories, helpful apps for when the baby comes, reading my old text books (I was just a class or two off of having a minor in child development).

P.S. I don't know if my post needs a trigger warning. If it does, just let me know & I'll change it asap. I don't want to unnecessarily upset anyone!!

Ann612 · November 2014

JlambertJen said:

A few months ago I got really upset over the feeling of having been robbed of all of that excitement and hopefulness that we started with. But at this moment, it's kind of nice to be reminded of what that was like.

YES. I realized that it will no longer be me showing DH a pee stick and jumping for joy, but me telling him the blood test was positive, and being cautiously optimistic instead.

SND1231 · November 2014

Love this post...
I have our office filled with everything baby related because I just knew I would get pregnant without any issues.. yeah right..
Timing getting off BC so that I would be done with school.
Not planning vacation.. same here
I also have the way I will tell my DH and other relatives planned out though I just knew it would be around Christmas.. that is definitely not happening..
Sigh....

Shauntee · November 2014

I foolishly thought we would have a honeymoon baby. Oh, how naive I was.
Also, I am just pissed I spent so much money on BC.

deelopi9 · November 2014

1. DH wanted to start 1 year earlier and I wish I wouldn't have wasted the time since we had just gotten engaged. I wanted to be married before getting pregnant. Wasted time.
2. We stopped 3 months before getting married so I can make sure I fit into the dress. I would have altered my dress at that points - the dress is sitting in my closet collecting dust.
3. Guilty of not planning vacations in the event I'd be pregnant.
4. Scheduling DH and mine's vacation time around possible pregnancy. That lasted 1 year.

redandblue · November 2014

Oh man, I love the title of this thread! Ignorance truly is bliss!

1)We held off on vacations (still 4 years later) because of the hopes of being pregnant. (seems as though so did others! Silly thing is we are doing the EXACT same thing this year still, 4 years later! But I swear if we are not successful we WILL be doing a last minute vacation the end of January)

2) I had a sneaky feeling it was going to take us a while, not sure why, but I did, so with the idea of being proactive I started seeing a naturopath about 4 months before our wedding. I spent 3 years on 2 different naturopaths and a whole year on regular acupuncture (not to mention a ton of money) before going the medical route.

************************trigger warnings LO and Loss Mentioned**********************************

3) I waited almost 3 years after our ectopic to finally seek fertility help. I even went to my family dr for a referral close to a year before I finally reached out to one. Seems like a lot of wasted time.

4) Because I already have a DS (age 15) I assumed I probably wouldn't have 'too much trouble' getting pregnant (even though deep inside I had a feeling it would be hard). In the back of my mind I thought it must be MFI as DH does not have any biological children. Little did I know neither one of us have an issue, but alas still no baby).

EmeJay · November 2014

Oh the symptoms in the first couple of months. I threw up in the trash can the second month we were trying. Hola brain fart!

BKAlyssa · November 2014

We put off TTC for a year because of a few vacations we had planned for about a year prior and I wanted to be able to participate in the fun stuff. I also wanted to wait until fall so I could have a summer LO and not have to deal with maternity leave since I am a teacher.

DaBearsFansWife · November 2014

1. Waiting to start TTC until closer to my college graduation so I wouldn't be huge at graduation.
2. Waiting to stop Depo until three months before I wanted to start TTC. El oh el
3. Not tempting or charting the first three months because Squee I'm gonna be pregnant as soon as I stop preventing!
4. Planning holidays around what stage of pregnancy I would be at if I got pregnant that day.
5. Bookmarking a birth date calculator so I didn't have to waste time going to Google first.
6. Planning every other big move in our lives around the potential financial burden that having a child would be if we got pregnant that month. (Not moving to Florida, postponing grad school, etc)

dominicandreamer · November 2014

wifeofafarmer said:

With each upcoming holiday or family event I spent hours deciding on just the right way to announce our big news - even spent hours watching announcements on YouTube to help with timing, details and whatnot. Yes, I am that OCD.

I still do this. In fact we're going on vacation soon and I thought, well I'm just going to have to take an extra day off to go to the Dr. if I'm pregnant so that we know before we go and I can plan for an announcement. I feel really pathetic when I "say" it out loud.

We waited an extra year to stop taking BCP just so the timing was right.
For the time period before we were married I was on BCP and DH was using condoms for added protection.
I realized this weekend that I've never put artwork up in the spare bedroom/sewing room/library because I'd eventually have to change it for a baby anyway. I also painted the room blue when we first moved in to make it an easy transition.
I changed jobs to work closer to home partially because if we had a baby in daycare I could get to him/her sooner.
Rather than getting a little junker or small car when I totaled my Scion, I made sure to get a family size vehicle. It's 3 years old now.

nikiswimr · November 2014

This thread is amazing.

1. I wish I had given in to MH and started to try earlier. I thought if I missed even one pill I would get pregnant.

2. We wasted 6 months NTNP because I KNEW it would happen easily. Now two years later I think of those wasted months.

3. I had a Pinterest nursery board, had picked out and all but paid for the furniture. It was seriously in my online shopping cart, just waiting to be ordered.

4. Freaking out when my sister planned her wedding for when I thought I should be due and worrying if they'd let me travel.

***Trigger warning, loss mentioned***

5. Thinking that finally getting pregnant was all that mattered. Unfortunately getting pregnant was not equal to staying pregnant.

mshandlebar · November 2014

1. Birth Control! 4 years of it. Think of all the cupcakes we could have bought with that money.
2. I bought a bridesmaid's dress for my brother's wedding 3 sizes bigger than normal because I was going to be KU. That was a year ago.
3. Word @hrushka. I was so excited when I bought my first BBT thermometer.

This thread is a good reminder that we are not alone. We've all done the family cars, delayed vacations, pinning and baby stuff buying.

Ann612 · November 2014

Group hug!!

I'm sorry we are all going through this.

I also bought the family car. I should have just bought something impractically sexy.

Ann612 · November 2014

lemonliz said:

ETA: Thought of another one. I was never a fan of the BCP (made me a weepy mess) and now I regret not taking it regularly. It would have saved some eggs. Had no idea that I was just wasting eggs month after month while not on the pill.

whaaaa? BCP saves eggs? I feel like I learn something new every day on here. And it is scary how little I knew before this.

Ann612 · November 2014

wazzu08 said:
Being giddy and having fun while BDing because this is the month we are making a baby *insert exaggerated eyeroll*

hahaha - yes! The first several months I was all concerned that while doing the BD we had a really good experience, all loving and all that because "this could be the time our baby is conceived". oh, how cute and naive I was.

mharnicker · November 2014

Love this posting!!

1. We can't get pregnant in March! The baby would have their birthday, Chanukah, and Christmas. We can't have that!

2. I'm not buying any clothes again until I need to buy maternity clothes because what is the point of buying something I'll only wear for a short time and I'll be pregnant.

3. Let's just BD a lot. I don't need to do a BBT chart. Those are too confusing.

4. I'll have no problems getting pregnant because my mom and grandma had no problems. It will happen fast

How naive I was. Oh, today marks a year since I threw out my BCP and started TTC on this day! I was on BCP for 12.5 years.

MustangChic · November 2014

Hugs to each of you!

We have a pregnancy announcement completely planned out along with how we are going to tell each set of parents.
I

moto611 · November 2014

I make a photo album every year - sort of a yearbook of what my husband and I have been up to, trips we've gone on, what our house looks like, etc etc. It's mostly for us but I also give a copy to each of our mothers for Christmas since they're always badgering us for pictures. In 2012 I had this idea to have the last page of the book be something cute about "we can't wait to see what next year has in store for us!" and an u/s picture announcing a pregnancy. Both moms take FOREVER to get through the book, examining and asking questions about every single picture... I envisioned how nerve-wracking that would be waiting for them to look through the pages and how happy they would be when they finally got the last page and saw the news.

It was the October 2012 BFN that popped that little dream... I knew that even if I got pregnant in November it would be tough for me to get an u/s picture in time to put it in the book & get the book published by Christmas.

That was 2012... 2013 came and went with no announcement and now it's too late for 2014's book too. Now that I'm less naive I would never do it that way anyway - what if something happened to the pregnancy?? Now I figure the baby can make it's appearance in the yearbook after it's born.

I don't plan anything in my life around a baby anymore. I bought a new car last November and even though we were very much TTC, I bought a tiny little fiat. It's super cute and I love it and there is NO way a carseat would fit in there. If we every actually have a baby I'm going to have to ditch it immediately... but I've owned it for a year and no baby yet so I'm so glad I bought it.

BunnyBerry · November 2014

Told our New Year 2009 guests (2 close friends) that we were definitely KU - just because we DTD unprotected once, like a week before I probably O'ed, and my boobs seemed much more big/sore than usual. I'm just lucky that I didn't post an awful "am I pregnant" post on 3T or something!
Freaked out and literally believed my life was over when DH (then just a boyfriend) didn't pull out - he didn't comprehend my English when I told him I wasn't on Ortho Evra anymore. Saw my future life flash before my eyes, no degree and married to some guy I didn't even know if I liked that much in some country I hadn't planned on moving to....
Buying and going through boxes and boxes of condoms when we first got married...and then making a big thing out of getting rid of them (after the aforementioned New Year's incident made us realize we were ready to grow our family).
Waiting years to see an RE even after my GYN told me that I really, really needed to if I expected to get KU.
Getting excited over having a Cow (Chinese zodiac) baby. And then a Tiger baby. And then a Rabbit baby. And then a Dragon baby (super excited!). And then...thinking how it kinda sucked we were gonna have a Snake baby. Excited over a Horse baby. And now assuming we'll have a Sheep baby...and shopping for sheep nursery decor. And convincing myself that a Monkey baby wouldn't be so bad either. And assuming that we'll have a Chicken or a Dog baby...for our 2nd. Why, oh why do we do this to ourselves??

EmeJay · November 2014

Can we talk about that huge box full of cloth diapers I have in my basement that I had to move with me when we bought a new house?

I thought I was so smart for starting to buy them early since it's so expensive. Meh.

l0v3 · November 2014

When all you feel like doing is ugly cry and then you come here and are actually able to laugh over this awful thing we're all experiencing...

I'm guilty of just about every single one of these! Let's see...

Waited an extra year to start trying because we really wanted to be responsible and in a good financial position. LOL- now we're considering going into a lot of debt for IVF.

DH added me to his insurance on top of my own coverage, and then picked up yet another small policy on me so we could maximize benefits. LOL- none of them cover a single dollar of IF treatment.

Bought a shiny new SUV instead of my tiny car that is obviously not fit for a baby. LOL- now 3 years old.

Spent hours researching the best pregnancy announcements and planned every announcement to fit each upcoming holiday/event. Of course every month I knew if this "was the month" I'd have a "June/July/August/Ect." baby and mentally planned birthday parties accordingly.

Bought a giant house so we wouldn't have to move and we'd be all settled in for when the baby comes. LOL- We've been here 5 years and now have 3 empty bedrooms that are all painted neutral and our home improvement funds went to an RE fund instead. Goodbye, dream kitchen.

We're huge Christmas nuts so the first year I spent like 2 months researching all these great traditions we could start with our little one. Second year I bought new stockings including one for baby. Third year I actually went as far as buying an ornament as a way to announce my pregnancy to DH because I was so hopeful that our IUI from November would work. Spoiler alert: It didn't.

Finally agreed on a girl name we loved. I must have told DH's cousin because about 6 months later she announced she was having her second girl and her name was going to be....you guessed it! The same exact name we picked out. Not just the first name, but the middle as well. I have a middle for her. A middle finger.

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