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Gotta be kidding me!

20thirteen20thirteen member
in Single Parents
so, I'm already super stressed enough as it is, but today I saw something that I'm still trying hard to bite my tongue about. I'm so pissed thinking about it.

I'm friends with BD's mom on Facebook as most of you know. And, as most of you know, she saves my pictures and uses them for her profile picture. I don't usually check the comments on her profile pictures, but this time I happened to look... First, the pic is of DD with a microphone held close to her mouth. BD's friend had commented "musician just like daddy :)".

Just like daddy? Just like daddy?! Bitch, the fucking prick you're referring to hasn't SEEN her in almost 11 months, has not bothered to make an attempt at seeing her since April and has not contacted me since her birthday almost 5 months ago.

And because it's BD's mom profile picture, I have to be SUPER sensitive if I respond. Which I know I just can't be. BF is a musician, great one, and I wanted to say "if by "daddy" you mean the man who puts forth the effort into being an actual father figure to her then, yes, she is a musician just like her daddy, [BF]".

I've just basically been chanting "cunt" all evening. I want to punch her and BD in the face.

/rant.
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Re: Gotta be kidding me!

  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Hugs @20thirteen this is a rock and a hard place. For some big and obvious reasons you cant post what you want. And personally responding at allcould be a potentially bad idea in that ot would offend your bds mom.

    I would suggest blocking this woman so you dont have to see her or her posts
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
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    That is what is so god damn frustrating! It shouldn't offend the very person who told me I could do better than BD (his own god damn mother) but I know it would.  I can't say anything now because BD's parents already posted things like "bet she's singing itsy bitsy spider" and "no, probably Joplin!" which has essentially changed the subject.

    I want to message this girl, but that would pick a stupid fight which would just cause me more stress and not do anything other than create drama that does not need to be created.  I need to calm down about this but I just can't.  All the bullshit up to this point... I feel like I'm going to explode.  I wish I owned a punching bag.

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  • HelenahhandbasketHelenahhandbasket member

    That is really frustrating, but I am going to say to just consider the source.

    The person that made the comment-- are they a friend of your BD's mother I am assuming?  If yes, I am assuming that they probably made the comment flippantly.  Maybe they don't know the whole story between your DD's BD and you.  Maybe his mother is embarassed of her son's behavior and has left out a lot when she is telling friends about her son.  Maybe the commenter thought she was being clever.

    What I am trying to say that in the grand scheme of things, this is so trite.  You know what you do and what your BF does to care for your child.  Just keep doing that.  Let it be.

     

     

     

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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    @Helenahhandbasket has a point. Bds mom is probably embaressed by her sons behavior so there are probably a lot of people who dont know that he is uninvolved. I know its frustrating i know its hard. But deep breaths.

    I know how hard it is for your child to be compared to am uninvolved parent. I used to have to shut a down when we were on good terms and shed make.comments about being such a marine just like his daddy. It sucks, its frustrating, it makes you want to scream and rip your hair out. But isnt worth it.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    She's a good friend of BD's, someone who knows the whole story, which is probably why I'm so mad about this. BD's mom befriends his friends on Facebook. And yeah, I'm trying real hard to just forget it. I've unfollowed BD's mom again, and I've blocked that girl. But, just, ERRGH!
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    becwheat said:

    There are MANY people who deal with this situation with the BD or their family. IF it is getting to you too much then block or unfriend his mom. She may freak out, but oh well. OR NEVER READ THE COMMENTS! Just don't they are not YOUR family so they will always lean towards BD no matter how awful he is.

    Take a deep breath and be zen about this stuff. YOU know the truth and as long as they are not directly attacking you I would not spend one more moment worrying about this FB comment.
    Ugh, I never usually do.  I have no idea why I did. Blerg.  While I'm angry at the comment, I'm more mad at myself for a) reading it and b) getting so unbelievably livid about it.  It's Facebook. Plus, that girl is not in my life anymore. So why am I getting so upset?  


    becwheat said:
    andplusalso - as much as it seems to suck our children will inherit certain talents/features from the other biological parent. That is not always a bad thing even if that person is awful. My DD is tall like her Biofather and NOT musically talented like Biofather (I am musically inclined)... so what? In the end she got the only parts of him that are any good. She is not him, she is not me, she is DD. ((hugs))
    And, yeah, I know this, too.  DD loves corn dogs and strawberry milk, both of which just the thought of makes me gag, but are BD's favorites.  BD *is* a (terrible) DJ, but BF plays guitar beautifully and has been teaching me bass.  He lets DD strum the guitar when he brings it over.  Sometimes she looks like BD, but for the most part, she looks like me or his mother.  So I think I lucked out there (if you would call that lucky).

    Anyway, thanks guys.  I feel much better now.  I just needed an outlet and here seems like the best place to get [relatively] unbiased words of wisdom. 
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  • ST3WDST3WD member
    *hugs* Glad you're feeling a little bit better. I can't stand how maturity seems to go out the window with social media. You got this, and I'm sure your daughter knows who is truly trying to impact her life, rather than AW off the fact she's a little person. 

    (Side note: I may have fangirl'd at your Dr.Cox rage .gif since Scrubs, yo.)
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