what is your huaband/partner doing while you are in hospital?

mali3 · November 2014

So, I am having my 3rd c section and it is scheduled for a Wednesday. My husband only gets 2 weeks of vacation so we were tossing around the idea of him taking off the wednesday when I have the csection, but then going back to work thursday and Friday after the csection and joining me in the hospital after work. We figure since I'm having a c section and I am stuck in the hospital anyway I would much rather have his help at home when I am discharged.

Curious if anyone has done this before? What are your plans after birth as far as husband/partner goes? I just don't want to regret it, but having two other kids at home I really think it would be a good decision to have him take the time off once I'm home.

*of course this is all pending the csection goes well and baby is fine.

peggels24 · November 2014

We honestly haven't talked about it - my assumption is that he will be going back and forth between the hospital, home and possibly the office to get everything ready for his leave.

YaMrWhite · November 2014

He will be there with me at the hospital. Depending on when I go into labor he is taking a week of paid leave off work. When he goes back, my stepmom will come help out for maybe 1-3 hours a day with my daughter while I adjust as needed. I much prefer to get home and get right into the routine so I know I won't want much help like last time.

britb618 · November 2014

I'm really not sure still- my husband gets about two and a half - 3 weeks pd paternity leave. However he signed up for a training the week I get out of hospital from my c section so my mom will be staying with us. So I'm trying to decide if he should just use the three weeks after she leaves and I should do the hospital thing on my own or if that's insane for me and I'll want him in hospital. Kind of playing it by ear until we get closer to decide

shannjohnston · November 2014

DH has been saving up his vacation time to take off once the baby is here. He's already given his boss a heads up, so DH will probably give him a call when I go in to labour saying, "so I'm not going to be in for a few weeks...you know...baby..."
With DS it was nice to have DH at the hospital to have some bonding time and spell me off so I could nap, but if you've only got two weeks, I'd rather have my husband help out at home than in the hospital.

LooneyLife · November 2014

He'll be taking off two weeks from the time I go to the hospital to deliver.

MusicFanatic · November 2014

He'll be with me in the hospital and he's taking 2 weeks off

Mom2anAngel2 · November 2014

DH can take up to 16 weeks for paternity leave (I don't even get that much and I'm the one having the baby -- we work in different states). My mom will be watching DS and DH will be in the hospital with me. I think he put in for 4 weeks leave.

longcat07 · November 2014

SO will be taking a week, and he'll be with me as much as possible while i'm in the hospital. he'll have to be home with DS a bit, but for the most part he'll be with me.

Samiantha101 · November 2014

We haven't decided yet. My husband gets 10 days off, however that includes the weekend. He doesn't have to use it right away. We are thinking about him taking a couple days off when we leave the hospital and then use his 10 days when I have to go back to work 6 weeks pp.

HStrawberry · November 2014

As of now, my parents are planning to come up and help out after the baby is born. DH will probably take off a day or two after the baby is born and then go back to work. When my parents leave, he's planning to take off a bit more time. He is entitled to 27 weeks of parental leave (my left overs). We can't afford to take the drastic pay cut for that long but I think he'll take off most of next summer so we can go away and visit family/vacation. We decided to try to safe most of his holidays for when the baby is older since my parents offered to help out in Jan. Our family is either 8 or 12 hours away so we need a bit more time to go visit them (it's rough for a weekend visit without a baby)

lavet22 · November 2014

We have 3 kids, so he will be with me during labor and delivery, but then will go home. With DS1 and DS2 he was at the hospital the entire time and it drove me nuts. He snores so bad! With DS3, he went home a few hours after delivery, slept, then came back. He was with me all day and then left at night to go to sleep at home, then the next day we both went home around noon. This go round, he will be with me again during labor and delivery. Will go home a few hours later to take care of the boys, and then come back for a few hours with the kids. Then just come back to take me home the next day. We get right out at the 24hr mark because my OB knows us and she knows we got it. HAHA

In the past, the boys have always gone to my inlaws, but they are so bad about doing what DH and I ask them to do (and not do) in regards to our kids that they are just not a good option at this time. They think since they are DH's parents, we are not allowed to tell them they can't do something with our kids... It was just super annoying until it became about safety issues, then the sh!t has hit the fan and they still can't get their act together. That's why DH will spend such little time in the hospital.

AlfiesMOM · November 2014

My DH also has two weeks off plus any additional leave he already has. He will be with me in the hospital. I am hoping for only a one night stay. Since I can't drive for two weeks he will likely take off a week and then go back to work. Then he is using the second week later because we are going to Florida probably when the baby is 7-8 weeks old.

honeybeee3 · November 2014

When I had DS my H took off two weeks from work and stayed at the hospital the entire time.

This time around, I'm having my LO at a birth center and if all goes well, we will be going home shortly after the baby is born. Again, my H will be taking two weeks off and will be with us the entire time.

I, personally, really liked having my H there the whole time. I was drained and emotional, so it was really nice to have his constant support.

Maebb · November 2014

DH was with me the whole time at the hospital with DS, and I assume it will be the same with this one. I guess I should ask him, but he felt very strongly last time about not wanting to miss anything and not wanting to leave us.

DS will probably stay with my parents or SIL's, and he loves it there, so DH will likely just stay with us in the hospital and then take the remainder of the week off work.

snowbaby1214 · November 2014

If I'm lucky, home w/ the kids.

mali3 · November 2014

So many of u are lucky to get to come home so quickly. Since I'm having a c section I will go in wednesday morning and be discharged saturday morning. My husband thankfully only works 4 - 10 hour days m-th, so if he takes off Wednesday he won't have to use vacation since he can make it up on friday

The only thing I'm worried about is him missing something, but in reality what's he gonna miss during the 10 hours he's gone? Baby doesn't do much lol. However...this is our first son. We do have the other 2 kids covered each day as they will be with family, friends or in hospital with me (our oldest goes to school so she's pretty much covered).

Thanks for all the input ladies!

Edvent · November 2014

I'm having a csection but am hoping to only stay two nights. DH will be with me most of the time, other than maybe to be home for a nap or to get DD for a visit. I feel like the hospital time is special for us to just be together with the new baby. We also have help at home too since my MIL lives with us, so DD will be in good hands. If he doesn't decide to come early my parents will also be out here for a week.

elleswarth · November 2014

My husband owns his own company, so I'm very fortunate to have him basically as a SAHD. He will be with me (whether he likes it or not) the whole time I'm in the hospital, because he wasn't the first time around and there were many times that I needed help and was all alone. Not this time buddy!

southernyankeegirl · November 2014

My DH will be there for the birth, and then will likely go back to work for 4-5 work days before taking his 2-3 weeks of paternity leave. My Mom will be there for about 10-12 days after birth to help out, which will likely overlap slightly with DH's paternity leave.

I wouldn't mind being alone in the hospital for those 2 days or so, but since my Mom is coming, we figure it's better to save DH's vacation days for when he can enjoy LO at home.

LaBellaVida · November 2014

If I deliver during the week he'll go back to work until the weekend more then likely. My mom will be here to watch my other kids. My husband will stay in the Hospital with me though during the night.

He'll take 10 days after we get home though, if all is well with my recovery. Again, my mom will be here for a little, so My husband will take more leave after she leaves.

Jellybean707 · November 2014

DS will be at his grandparents and DH will be with me at the hospital since they allow spouses to room in. There is a pull out sofa for him to sleep on. Our hospital allows for an abbreviated for a normal vaginal delivery so we will take advantage of that if we can.

After that he will be home for another 2 1/2 to 3 weeks. He'll also take several 3 day weekends up until I return to work. He has more than 4 weeks of time off saved and he also accrues it very quickly.

ellasmama18 · November 2014

My mom is local so she takes our kids and the hubby stays with me at the hospital. I'll be having c/s #3 also. He'll take about 2 weeks off, but will probably do some work at home. His job is really flexible which is nice.

storm08 · November 2014

DH is taking the first week off, and then working from home the 2nd week. My parents are going to take DS for the 2 days we're in the hospital. He's stayed with them overnight before and we figure it will be easier for him to stay at their house than to wonder why we're not at home with him.

LadyXaverian · November 2014

He'll be with me during the day and with our older daughter at home at night. He's taking 2-3 weeks off starting the day I go into the hospital to have the baby.

moonfaerie · November 2014

I have had c/s with all three of my girls, and my husband took off day LO was born, then the week after I came home from the hospital for the first two. I needed his help more at home than when I had nurses taking care of me and LO. (He couldn't take any extra time off when DD3 was born, so he took off the day she was born and that was it.)

This time around, I think he's taking two weeks, and he will be off when I'm in the hospital, plus the first week or so that I am home. This is mainly because this LO is coming on 12/31, he is off on New Year's Day anyway, and he didn't want to go back to work for just one day (1/2) then take a week off. It's also much easier from the childcare aspect. He'll visit me in the hospital when people can watch our other kids, but I expect he'll be home with the girls much more than visiting me and baby.

He has never stayed overnight in the hospital either. It's just better for him to get actual sleep at home for work (or for watching our kids this time around) and to take care of the pets.

AggieMom0809 · November 2014

DH may take off the day I have the baby, but probably not and will just leave once he gets the call that I'm progressing. I don't want him in the room with me. Ideally, I will be induced on a Thursday so that DH will be off work to take me home that Saturday.

While I was at the hospital, I just wanted to sleep with my first two. The nurses took care of everything the baby and I needed.

ECATX · November 2014

My husband will be at the hospital with me during the day and home with DD at night. When DD was born, he stayed with me the whole time and my MIL stayed with our dog. It was nice having him with me, but I think this will work, too.

soon2bejp · November 2014

I'm glad this thread was started, because I hadn't even thought about this. When I asked H if he was planning to sleep at the hospital he hesitated and didn't give me an answer. At first I was annoyed, but after thinking about it I think it might be better if he stays with me during the day and goes home to get some good rest at night and spends time with the dog. We only live 5 minutes from the hospital anyway.

vicviy87 · November 2014

My husband and I have bought vacation for next year. He bought 10 days. Plus he has scheduled knee surgery while I will be on maternity leave so when I go back he will stay home for 3 weeks so we can save money for daycare. My mom is coming by once a day to wash and cook for me. (Spoiled first grand kid) my insurance only pays for 48 hours for hospital stay after baby so idc about who is there.

Aillise · November 2014

DH is a sub contractor, and has only been with this company since July. He doesn't have a paid vacation/sick days, or any type of paternity leave unfortunately. I am expecting him to call in the following day if I go in to labor after work hours. And expect him to leave work immediately if I go while he is in work. I'm sure he can take a few days off here and there, but I would rather that time be when we come home from the hospital. I guess it's time I should bring up the subject and try and come up with a plan that he can bring to his boss.

SheHulk723 · November 2014

The current plan is for my husband to take off a week before our CS date to help me get the house ready and then to take off two weeks after she's born. He has his own business so fortunately he can pretty much take off whenever he wants (I'm putting a bunch of extra money into savings to prepare for time off.) So if I need him for longer or want him gone sooner I can keep him or send him away haha.

letsgox · November 2014

We actually haven't worked out the details yet, which bothers me more than him.

With DD, he was able to be at the hospital with me the entire time. His company closes between Xmas and NY and DD was born on the 15th, so he was home with us until Jan 2.

This time, I think he will be with me and the new baby as much as possible, but may go home at night to care for DD. SIL and my mom have offered to care for her while I'm in the hospital so we have that option, too.

llambrose · November 2014

Last time he stayed in the hospital (first kid) and I had kind of figured he would again and that my parents would come stay with my daughter at our house. I just found out this weekend that my mom's work will only allow her to take 3 of her vacation days so we won't be able to do that. His parents live in the same town as us but won't usually do much to help so now I am thinking that he might have to come home at night with our daughter.

rockkandi · November 2014

I feel you! My hubby owns his own business so the more time he takes off, the money out of our pocket. We have a two year old and my mom is planning to come for two weeks. I want my hubby to work while she's here so that it's not a huge deal when I ask him to stay home with me for help after those two weeks.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

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CoachTay · November 2014

My husband will have 2 months off (paid) after the baby is born, and when he returns to work after that, he will only have to work Mon-Thurs. I'll take at least 8 weeks off, and may shoot for 10-12.

CoachTay · November 2014

CoachTay said:

My husband will have 2 months off (paid) after the baby is born, and when he returns to work after that, he will only have to work Mon-Thurs. I'll take at least 8 weeks off, and may shoot for 10-12.

I should add that he'll be at the hospital with me as well.

GromMom · November 2014

Our plan is that we'll drop ds with a friend and dh will stay for labor and some bonding time but will go pick up ds and take him home to sleep. When ds wad born dh never left me not even to get food, only to let in guests who brought food. Now that I'm comfortable with the idea of a newbornI'llstay with ds #2 alone at night and dh will bring ds#1 to visit off I'm not discharged right away. In not entirely sure what well happen if I have to deliver I'm the middle of the night but if I go into labor at night I'm hoping I can wait until morning to drop ds off at our friends'house. Also dh wants to be at the delivery and of course I want him there too but if he had to tend to ds #1 I would understand if he couldnotstay work me. Technically ds#1 can be in the room as long as I don't need A C section, but I'd rather not have dh have to run after a squiggly toddler while I'm in active labor :-)

LOZENGER25 · November 2014

My husband can't work due to disabilities, so when I give birth at home, he will be there with me

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