I stopped by my favorite clothing store today on my lunch break. After 2 years of TTC, a myriad of uncomfortable tests and one surgical procedure later.... I am finally feeling good and decided to treat myself to something pretty and, quite frankly out of my typical spending range, after sinking endless $$ into my less then optimal uterus as of late. Even us infertiles deserve to feel pretty every now and again, right?
This is not what I would call a snarkey store. Think 30 something chic... or, fashionable enough to still feel cute while acknowledging that you are in fact a grown up with a job....
Anyway, as I clumsily walked around the store trying to find something that I liked and had just that right girlie feeling, one of the associates ran by and I asked if they had the shirt in a *******GASP***** size 14. Before I could get the "size 14" out of my mouth, she turned and rather plainly told me that she didn't think they made clothes for "people my size".
I typically wear a 12 or a 14, depending on the cut of the pants. The store carries up to size 18 on the shelves in stores. 18(largest size in store) - 14 (my size) = size 4 (my sisters size). So basically you could add me to my sister who has never enjoyed a hamburger in her life (wonderfully fertile mother of two that she is), and we would still fit in their clothes. Maybe that's not exactly how it works but you catch my drift.
Before I could blink there was tears rolling down my face. I am dissapointed in myself for NOT moving immediately in to take no prisoners red head mode. Boy, if she had dared say that to me after one of my countless frustrating dr appointments the response would have made her blush for sure.... but darn, I HAD to go and feel good about myself for once this afternoon, at least until I walked into that store. (for the last time!!!)
My body has betrayed me over the last two years. I am a woman, I am supposed to be able to be a mommy.... thus far though, it isn't working that way. What a rip! Occasionally I have assaulted my dysfunctional body donuts and pasta after having countless medical professionalls all teamed up to figure out what the hell is wrong with my lady parts.....apparently it s a puzzle worth $1000's out of pocket and tons of tests and referrals. I can assure you, my vajayjay has never seen this much action, and from such an assortment of individuals. Awesome sauce dosn't even begin to describe the past two years!
But thats cool, random lady. Sit back and judge me for being a whopping size 12-14.
Phew, that feels better.
"> TTC since 2012 Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear 8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring 1/12 HSG all clear! 2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal 3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment 3/14 first RE appointment 5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
"> TTC since 2012 Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear 8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring 1/12 HSG all clear! 2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal 3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment 3/14 first RE appointment 5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
Listen, her response was in no way appropriate or acceptable, and honestly, I would contact the manager. I actually *am* one of the dreaded plus-size customers, and had I walked in there, I may have had the fortitude or presence of mind to shred that awful excuse for a human being.
REGARDLESS of whether the store carries your size or not, you didn't ask her if she had the item in "something that will fit me", you asked for a specific size. She does not know - nor does she need to know - anything beyond that. I could walk in there where nothing would fit me and still ask for a size 14. Maybe it's for me. Maybe it's for a friend. Maybe it's just none of her damn business.
My point is, she's clearly not someone who should have any sort of effect on your self image, and in a service-oriented business such as retail, her manager should know that money walked out the door because of the behavior of one of their employees.
(Plus, it might feel good to reclaim some of your personal power to take a jab at the person who dismissed you so thoughtlessly.)
It took a couple of weeks, but I did eventually go back, and I said something to the manager on site.
After I calmed down a bit, I wasn't even sure whether I was more poed that she made the comment, or that it reduced me to tears so darn quickly. You are right, her opinion truly doesn't matter, and neither does my size, nor does anyone elses. Her comment made me feel huge & ugly. It wasn't about pants size, you know?
I have friends who are my size and larger, and are STUNNINGLY beautiful. Its amazing how judgmental we can be towards eachother!
"> TTC since 2012 Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear 8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring 1/12 HSG all clear! 2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal 3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment 3/14 first RE appointment 5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
Wow! It's like "Pretty Woman". You should be all. I found tons of stores with my size. Get with the program. I'm the same size as well. I can do 12 if its stretchy. Hang in there.
FWIW, we TTC 3+ years and it turned out to be my husbands swimmers not me. I thought something was wrong with me because my cycles were off (which did make it hard to target TTC) a hormone specialist told me that sugar/fat was estrogen causing and put me on the Paleo diet. It was hard but it really did balance me and I was regular. My husband took special vitamins and worked on his diet and we finally did it. I have all sizes of clothes in my closet now
"Sadly" I cannot fit into their clothes anymore at all! My husband and I signed up for IVF....and then got our BFP on our own!
I am now blissfully plump and unable to button my pants. Maternity clothes here I come..
As far as that lady goes, I am feeling pretty amazed by my body and what it is capable of right now......so she can shove it!
"> TTC since 2012 Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear 8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring 1/12 HSG all clear! 2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal 3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment 3/14 first RE appointment 5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
That sucks and is why I don't shop at stores that don't carry plus size. I was so excited to get down to a size 14 right before I got pregnant this time around. On the one hand I get people who say I carry my weight well (which I guess is supposed to be a compliment). On the other, I get that nasty double take look when I tell someone what size I wear.
I recently had a few friends (on separate occasions) offer their maternity clothes. I declined the first knowing she's only about an 8. With the other I said it would be appreciated, but wasn't sure if they would be big enough for me. She didn't believe what size I wore, which I wasn't sure if I should take as a good or bad thing.
So excited for your pregnancy!!!! I'm a size 12-14 as well and I've lost over 100 lbs to get here! I'll never forget being so excited to go to a store that wasn't solely plus size and buy something to wear. The sales girl who helped me basically told me that even losing all that weight wasn't going to make me pretty in their clothes. I reacted like you - I cried! Luckily my husband was with me and he handled the situation. People can be so cruel!
I would write a strongly worded letter the the business stating just how degraded you felt. That witch should lose her job. Keep your head up and remember that it was just published that 12 14 is the new average size
Re: So.....apparently size 12-14 is the new "great big huge person". thanks!
TTC since 2012
Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear
8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring
1/12 HSG all clear!
2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal
3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment
3/14 first RE appointment
5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation
as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting
poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
I'm a 12-14 as well.
She's a bitch and prob not comfortable in her own skin.
REGARDLESS of whether the store carries your size or not, you didn't ask her if she had the item in "something that will fit me", you asked for a specific size. She does not know - nor does she need to know - anything beyond that. I could walk in there where nothing would fit me and still ask for a size 14. Maybe it's for me. Maybe it's for a friend. Maybe it's just none of her damn business.
My point is, she's clearly not someone who should have any sort of effect on your self image, and in a service-oriented business such as retail, her manager should know that money walked out the door because of the behavior of one of their employees.
(Plus, it might feel good to reclaim some of your personal power to take a jab at the person who dismissed you so thoughtlessly.)
After I calmed down a bit, I wasn't even sure whether I was more poed that she made the comment, or that it reduced me to tears so darn quickly. You are right, her opinion truly doesn't matter, and neither does my size, nor does anyone elses. Her comment made me feel huge & ugly. It wasn't about pants size, you know?
I have friends who are my size and larger, and are STUNNINGLY beautiful. Its amazing how judgmental we can be towards eachother!
TTC since 2012
Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear
8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring
1/12 HSG all clear!
2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal
3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment
3/14 first RE appointment
5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation
as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting
poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
We have our "Irish Twins"
DD born 8/7/2013
DS born 7/28/14
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FWIW, we TTC 3+ years and it turned out to be my husbands swimmers not me. I thought something was wrong with me because my cycles were off (which did make it hard to target TTC) a hormone specialist told me that sugar/fat was estrogen causing and put me on the Paleo diet. It was hard but it really did balance me and I was regular. My husband took special vitamins and worked on his diet and we finally did it. I have all sizes of clothes in my closet now
33 years old, Married Oct '11,
Summer '14: Diagosed with hypothryoidism, pollup, LPD, Low AMH, strong FSH.
BFP: 1/22/15. EDD: 9/23/14. Rainbow baby!
TTC since 2012
Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear
8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring
1/12 HSG all clear!
2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal
3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment
3/14 first RE appointment
5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation
as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting
poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
I recently had a few friends (on separate occasions) offer their maternity clothes. I declined the first knowing she's only about an 8. With the other I said it would be appreciated, but wasn't sure if they would be big enough for me. She didn't believe what size I wore, which I wasn't sure if I should take as a good or bad thing.
Keep your head up and remember that it was just published that 12 14 is the new average size
ME:37 DH:30
MARRIED: 07/19/2010, TTC #1: 07/19/2010
DX: PCOS, First IUI: 10/01/2015, BFN