Newbie Intro

AlliClaire11 · October 2014

Hello, Ladies!

I've been lurking through threads whenever I have questions or am suffering through a TWW, and finally decided I should introduce myself and actually talk to people. DH and I been married since December and live in a studio with 2 cats, Arya and Sansa. I am turning 25 in two weeks and DH is 27. We hope to have at least 3 children. Personally, I'm hoping for five, though my husband would prefer just 4. My maternal grandfather was a fraternal twin, so twins are hopefully a possibility for us.

This is our 5th month of trying with absolutely no luck. I use LadyComp and FertilityFriend, charting with temps and CM. I have regular cycles, but not clockwork. I don't have symptoms of any infertility-causing issue (though my husband is overweight), but I'm pretty neurotic, so every month that passes makes me more and more freaked out. It doesn't help that I work as a teacher and I see all these families with 3 to 5 kids every day. I get so jealous I could burst! This past month I've stopped trying to live as if I am pregnant and have been allowing myself to drink in moderation. Riesling is my drink of choice.

Every month I think I have given up and that I won't be disappointed, but somehow I always manage to get my hopes up and I spend the first day of AF sobbing. I have an appt to see my ob-gyn in December to go over things.

I guess my main problem is emotional/mental, since I am prone to anxiety and tend to obsess over things. I really have no one to talk to because I'm the first of my friends to get married (most aren't even in relationships) and definitely the only one trying for a baby. My acquaintances who are married have almost all managed to have honeymoon babies, which just makes me feel defective. It's also especially heartbreaking because ever since I was little, all I've wanted in life is to be a SAHM. Nothing will be able to make up for it if I'm not able to have a child.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to get to know you all!

SwivelChair5 · October 2014

welcome and good luck

ramaholic · October 2014

AlliClaire11 said:

Hello, Ladies!

I've been lurking through threads whenever I have questions or am suffering through a TWW, and finally decided I should introduce myself and actually talk to people. DH and I been married since December and live in a studio with 2 cats, Arya and Sansa. I am turning 25 in two weeks and DH is 27. We hope to have at least 3 children. Personally, I'm hoping for five, though my husband would prefer just 4. My maternal grandfather was a fraternal twin, so twins are hopefully a possibility for us.

This is our 5th month of trying with absolutely no luck. I use LadyComp and FertilityFriend, charting with temps and CM. I have regular cycles, but not clockwork. I don't have symptoms of any infertility-causing issue (though my husband is overweight), but I'm pretty neurotic, so every month that passes makes me more and more freaked out. It doesn't help that I work as a teacher and I see all these families with 3 to 5 kids every day. I get so jealous I could burst! This past month I've stopped trying to live as if I am pregnant and have been allowing myself to drink in moderation. Riesling is my drink of choice. Every month I think I have given up and that I won't be disappointed, but somehow I always manage to get my hopes up and I spend the first day of AF sobbing. I have an appt to see my ob-gyn in December to go over things.

I guess my main problem is emotional/mental, since I am prone to anxiety and tend to obsess over things. I really have no one to talk to because I'm the first of my friends to get married (most aren't even in relationships) and definitely the only one trying for a baby. My acquaintances who are married have almost all managed to have honeymoon babies, which just makes me feel defective. It's also especially heartbreaking because ever since I was little, all I've wanted in life is to be a SAHM. Nothing will be able to make up for it if I'm not able to have a child.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to get to know you all!

Hey, it's not uncommon to have "absolutely no luck" in the first five months trying. That doesn't make you defective. Seeing your doctor in December is jumping the gun -- a normal, healthy couple of age 35 or younger can take up to a year to get pregnant. You only have a 20% chance of conceiving each cycle.

Don't compare yourself to your acquaintances, you likely don't know their stories. Even if people say or appear to get pregnant "omfg the first tyme!!1!", that's usually not the case. Most people don't publicly talk about their sex lives.

If you're having an extremely hard time coming to terms with your anxiety about not being a mother, you might want to consider talking to a counselor or therapist. They can help, really. Going to a therapist doesn't make you "crazy".

Welcome, though! Read the Newbie Blog if you haven't already and hopefully you end up pregnant sooner rather than later.

bfonz619 · October 2014

Welcome and best of luck

WestIsleFlower · November 2014

Welcome and good luck!

URMySunshine77 · November 2014

Welcome. I also experience anxiety sometimes. The board is a great place to blow off steam. Take advantage of the TWW and WTO threads!

Good luck to you!

KingLED · November 2014

Welcome.

thewickedfairy · November 2014

tl;dr, welcome.

gypsymermaid · November 2014

Welcome!

pmcd886 · November 2014

Welcome and good luck!

2BuckChuck1 · November 2014

From one newbie to another, welcome. I know it's frustrating and anxiety-inducing, but you are not defective! It might just take you a little longer than your friends, but you are still well within a normal TTC timeframe at your age. Glad you've returned to moderate drinking because it is definitely helpful during the TWW!!! You will find a lot of support and commiseration here. Good luck to you and cheers :: drinks first chardonnay of the day/night ::

AlliClaire11 · November 2014

Thank you so much for the kind messages!

I know in my head that I'm not defective or anything. It's just my own paranoia creeping in. I've thought about seeing a therapist and I probably should, but the ones I've seen before for depression didn't really help that much, so I'm reluctant to try again, especially now that I'm out of school and will be spending my own money seeing them.

What really doesn't help is that since I started my job at the school, everyone keeps asking if I have kids!

Hopefully we'll all have better luck in the near future!