New Here, Loss Mentioned

Farrah626 · November 2014

Hi everyone. We had our anatomy scan on Tuesday and received horrible news. Actually it seemed hopeful at first but after further consults and tests was not what we'd thought. I have a D&E scheduled for Tues/Wed but am not sure that's the right choice, I may go with an induction. I guess I'm terrified of both but the D&E scares me more. Anyway, I'll probably mostly lurk but wanted to put myself out there. Any advice or experiences of a D&E vs. induction may be helpful, even if you'd prefer to PM me. I'd love to run away and pretend none of this is happening at all.

Littleowl913 · November 2014

I'm so sorry you face this decision. I was in the hospital and the doctors were kind of pressuring me to make a decision pretty quickly bc my blood pressure was sky rocketing. The head of high risk dept of the hospital was steering me towards a D&E, believing it would be a smoother and quicker process. They gave my DH and I maybe 15 mins alone to think about when the doctor from my OBGYN group came on to hear what we have decided. We were going to say D&E but DH asked my doctor what he would recommend. My doctor said there's no right decision but for him personally, he would go with the induction. He kept talking and I realized he was right. I wanted to hold my son, see his face, tell him how much we love him while I held him in my arms. I'm so glad I changed my mind. The nurses took pictures of our son Ronin and gave us a keepsake box. Those pictures help me get through my bad days and I'll forever be grateful for those precious moments with Ronin. As my doctor said, there's no right decision. You have to figured out what's best for you and your family. If you want any more info about my experience with induction, don't hesitate to ask. Hope this helps! I'll be praying for you and your family.

lexusolsen · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't have the option of a d & e. Whatever you and your dh decide will be the right choice for your family. We are here when you need us. What is your baby's name?

VeilSdeGTO · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've had both a D&E (17w) and delivered naturally (17w5d). Both vary greatly so it depends on whether you want to see/hold/spend time with your LO, go through childbirth, be put under, take pictures, etc.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

stefuge · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't had experience with either, but wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss and please know that we are here whenever you need us.

Maybe Joleisa · November 2014

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. Whatever you decide will be the best decision for you and your family. Wishing you strength as you head into these next few days. ((Hugs))

Farrah626 · November 2014

Thank you, everyone, for the kind words. I feel like I'm having an out of body experience.

CheesyPeas · November 2014

I am so sorry. I've had both but never to choose between D&E and induction. My first loss was in the first trimester so my options were to wait it out for a natural miscarriage or proceed with a D&E. My second loss required induction because my DD had passed away and I was 24 weeks. I can tell you though that the induction process at 24 weeks was not bad for me physically speaking. It was about 10 hours from checking into the hospital to holding my daughter, and physical recovery was just as easy as the D&E. So if I were you, I wouldn't let the physical stuff weigh in on your decision much. It's really deciding what is best for you emotionally.

bunnybun4 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I chose a D&E...at the time I couldn't bear the thought of delivering my baby and her not being alive. I just wanted the nightmare to be over so i quickly chose a D&E...it was not a huge deal and not painful at atll...the actual procedure is nothing compared to the pain you are already going through right now.

In the end, I do regret not getting to hold my daughter and spend time with her but I honestly just don't think at the time I could have handled it emotionally. I think you just have to weigh your options and do what is best for you. big ((hugs))

Farrah626 · November 2014

Thank you all for your insight and thoughts

msunshine123 · November 2014

I am so sorry you are facing these choices. I did not have to make either choice, but I know whatever you decide will be the best choice for you during a very challenging time. So many hugs to you and I a so very sorry for the loss of your little one.

jenn.schott · November 2014

So sorry for your loss. Take each day at a time ((hugs))

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