Inviting out-of-towners?

hydrangeablue · October 2014

What's the proper etiquette on inviting friends (from college) that now live out of town/state to a baby shower? Some are far enough out of town that they would have to fly in and I do not expect them to do that nor do I expect them to send a gift but at the same time I don't want them to feel left out or like I forgot them or didn't want them there.

What do you think?

chicagojackie · October 2014

Baby showers are for your nearest and dearest. If you send these people an invite it does look like you're expecting them to send a gift since that is really what a baby shower is about--showering the new mom with gifts to welcome her to motherhood.

This is not like your wedding/bridal shower.

If these are girlfriends that you haven't seen in years (or only follow on facebook, and don't talk to on the phone) I wouldn't include them. If they want to send you a gift they will do that but it is tacky to send them an invitation.

VOR · October 2014

chicagojackie said:

Baby showers are for your nearest and dearest. If you send these people an invite it does look like you're expecting them to send a gift since that is really what a baby shower is about--showering the new mom with gifts to welcome her to motherhood.
This is not like your wedding/bridal shower.
If these are girlfriends that you haven't seen in years (or only follow on facebook, and don't talk to on the phone) I wouldn't include them. If they want to send you a gift they will do that but it is tacky to send them an invitation.

This is basically where I fall. I did invite 2 friends who lived OOT but they were 2 people who I KNEW wanted to be invited. I have a lot of other OOT friends and family and did not invite them. It's JUST a shower. not a wedding. Not nearly the same level of importance and not an "invite all" event.

hydrangeablue · October 2014

Thank you, that helps! I'm only thinking of inviting 3 out of town friends. They are all girls that I still talk to on the phone and keep in touch with.

Amstreagle · October 2014

hydrangeablue said:
Thank you, that helps! I'm only thinking of inviting 3 out of town friends. They are all girls that I still talk to on the phone and keep in touch with.

I would say that's fine

dufferoo · October 2014

I think courtesy invites are silly, but if you think these girls might actually want to come, then by all means, invite them! I had a small baby shower, and did invite two close out-of-town friends, who did end up attending, and we used the event as an excuse to enjoy a weekend together.

mermaid1113 · October 2014

I think you should invite them- seems like you are still close to them and keep in touch regularly

Disneygeek77 · October 2014

I wouldn't and didn't, but I also assumed most reasonable women won't get their feelings hurt because they weren't invited to a shower that would require a plane trip.

MrsPDX · October 2014

I would definitely include them! All of my out-of-state college friends and out-of-town family have already asked me to make sure they are included on the shower invite. They would have to fly in, and many won't. But, they want to be included anyways. I would definitely not want to leave them out.

duckie23 · October 2014

I did not want to seem gift grabby so out of state friends and family were not invited to my baby shower. My closest friends knew that I was having a shower that day, so I figured if they wanted send a gift or expressed interest in attending, they could. (They didn't, and my feelings were not hurt in the least.)

I agree that it's different than a wedding/bridal shower.

ordinary1 · November 2014

I think it depends. For majority of people, I will not send an invitation to out of towners. However, my grandma's sister and my great grandma's sister always request an invitation. My grandma's sister likes to have a little reminder of it and usually calls during/after. My great grandma's sister sometimes will show up.

VOR · November 2014

MrsPDX said:

I would definitely include them! All of my out-of-state college friends and out-of-town family have already asked me to make sure they are included on the shower invite. They would have to fly in, and many won't. But, they want to be included anyways. I would definitely not want to leave them out.

I'm beginning to think you're a troll. There is just something off about your posts. I don't believe ALL your friends and family asked for an invite. Simply don't believe it.

MrsPDX · November 2014

VOR said:

MrsPDX said:

I would definitely include them! All of my out-of-state college friends and out-of-town family have already asked me to make sure they are included on the shower invite. They would have to fly in, and many won't. But, they want to be included anyways. I would definitely not want to leave them out.

I'm beginning to think you're a troll. There is just something off about your posts. I don't believe ALL your friends and family asked for an invite. Simply don't believe it.

Well, 4 aunts, 3 friends from college, both Grandma's, and 2 friends from travelling. That may not be everyone, but most of the important ones.

hydrangeablue · November 2014

Thanks everyone, this helped me work it out. We decided not to invite the out of town friends. Even though we're close I know they will not be flying across the country from their nice warm places to michigan in the depths of winter. I'll keep them in the loop but I will not be sending the gift grab invite, which is how it feels the more I think about it.

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