TTC After a Loss
erinnjo
member
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Intro
erinnjo
member
Hello 
It's so amazing to see the advice and support you all bring to one another! I'm new to these boards and to posting. I used to just read through everyone's comments for advice, support, etc. but now would love to be a little more active. First, I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. This is something that no one should have to go through. I do feel fortunate that there is a place like this to share and empathize.
My DH and I have been together for 10 years, married for 1 year. We were so excited to have our first BFP this July after 8 months of TTC. I had early bleeding but HCG levels looked good. Went in for an ultrasound and there was a heart beat but a small blood clot. They said the bleeding should get better but they would monitor the blood clot in a week or two. Bleeding stopped and I went in for my second ultrasound... The darn clot kept growing and tripled in size, which led to my first MC & D&C on September 3rd. The doctor said it is very rare and probably would not happen again, but she has no idea what caused it in the first place.
I'm nervous/anxious that the same could happen again, if and hopefully when, we become pregnant again. I waited 47 days for my AF to come back and the waiting game for everything is one of the hardest things. I feel awful for saying that it is so hard not to be jealous/envious of friends/ others pregnancies. Don't get me wrong, I am so very happy for them, but at the same time, I so wish that was me and constantly question...why not me?
What are some things you ladies do to keep your mind off all the "what-ifs" and to get rid of the jealous/envious feelings?
It's so amazing to see the advice and support you all bring to one another! I'm new to these boards and to posting. I used to just read through everyone's comments for advice, support, etc. but now would love to be a little more active. First, I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. This is something that no one should have to go through. I do feel fortunate that there is a place like this to share and empathize.
My DH and I have been together for 10 years, married for 1 year. We were so excited to have our first BFP this July after 8 months of TTC. I had early bleeding but HCG levels looked good. Went in for an ultrasound and there was a heart beat but a small blood clot. They said the bleeding should get better but they would monitor the blood clot in a week or two. Bleeding stopped and I went in for my second ultrasound... The darn clot kept growing and tripled in size, which led to my first MC & D&C on September 3rd. The doctor said it is very rare and probably would not happen again, but she has no idea what caused it in the first place.
I'm nervous/anxious that the same could happen again, if and hopefully when, we become pregnant again. I waited 47 days for my AF to come back and the waiting game for everything is one of the hardest things. I feel awful for saying that it is so hard not to be jealous/envious of friends/ others pregnancies. Don't get me wrong, I am so very happy for them, but at the same time, I so wish that was me and constantly question...why not me?
What are some things you ladies do to keep your mind off all the "what-ifs" and to get rid of the jealous/envious feelings?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro
As for how to deal with the jealousy and envy, I think the feelings are totally normal, but the solution is individual. I personally think the best way to deal with it is to deal with your feelings about your loss. It took me about 7 months. I was down, I was up, and then my best friend got pg and I was devastated. It really forced me to look at myself. I started seeing a therapist and that helped me come to terms. You have to find what helps you.
My Ovulation Chart
I get jealous sometimes too, but I'm still learning how to process those feelings.
Me-27 DH-29
TTC#1 January 2013
BFP February 27th 2014, MMC ended in D&C
Working on our rainbow!
Curious about my ute?
I'm sorry for your loss.
Like others have mentioned we all cope with others pregnancies a little differently. Myself, I've turned it into a drinking game... Just kidding ladies, Kind of. Haha I've always been a bit of a lush. In all seriousness though I can say that I am finally starting to not want to cry every time I see a pregnant woman. I do still have issues with a) People complaining about their pregnancy. b) My pregnant friend telling me everything happens for a reason. And c) Pregnant woman that don't take care of their bodies. <- That one creates rage! The pain, I can say, is no where near as raw anymore. However I can still feel the jealousy creeping in from time to time.
Through this whole experience I have learned to be kind to my body. I need to be patient with myself. There was nothing that could of done to reverse this. We are not at fault. I have found comfort in this board. These woman are truly amazing, and their experiences and support are what have gotten me through this. I can't thank this board enough for helping me refocus and see that my desire to grow my family over powers my fear.
Best wishes and welcome to the board!
DH & I are both 28 Together: 12 years Married: 09/24/2011
BFP#1: January '12 - DD1 09/16/2012
Preterm labor 31 weeks. Monitored for Hellp and diagnosed with oligohydramnios July '12
BFP #2: 06/25 - EDD 03/05/15 MMC confirmed 8/1 - D&E 8/4 retained tissue discovered 8/20
BFP #3 11/24 - 12/15 Heartbeat detected - DD2 07/29/15
me = 32 DH = 33
TFAS
BFP2 august 2014 ended in m/c .... Gone but not forgotten....forever in my heart!Slight MFI low count, morph, mobility
DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS 6/2010
BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
My chart here All ALers welcome!
4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal
5 IUIs = BFN
All AL are welcome
DH: 45
BFP #1 3/19/14 EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
BFP #2 12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
Saw heartbeat 12/29. Please be a rainbow.
All welcome