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October 2013 Moms
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Should you ask for a marriage blessing?

DisneyMamaToBeTTCDisneyMamaToBeTTC member
edited October 2014 in October 2013 Moms
Do you think a person should ask their significant others parent or parent type figure for their hand in marriage before an engagement? To clarify, this would include a man and a woman, lesbian couple, etc. (PS I know I'm a lurker but the board is dying, everyone loves a poll and I'm curious. :) )

Should you ask for a marriage blessing? 97 votes

Yes! It's a romantic and traditional gesture that should definitely happen!
59% 58 votes
Um, no. This isn't 1920.
29% 29 votes
Other, comment below.
10% 10 votes
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Re: Should you ask for a marriage blessing?

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  • dovetail223dovetail223 member
    I think it's a nice gesture, but it should be done after the actual couple have already agreed to marry. When the guy asks the girls dad before he asks her, it's too much like the old days when women were property for my liking.

    I also think this is unnecessary if you KNOW the parents disapprove for a big reason I.e gay marraige or interracial marraige. If someone's parents are awful, you shouldn't ask their blessing.
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  • bkeane619bkeane619 member
    Nope
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  • deedee1017deedee1017 member
    edited October 2014
    I don't think it's necessary but it's a nice gesture. My dh asked my mom for her blessing before he proposed. I think it was sweet.
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  • ksimo6ksimo6 member
    Having my DH hask my Dad was something that was really important to me.  My father and I are very close.  My DH still talks about that dinner he had with my Dad and how much he enjoyed that conversation.  I'm happy he did it. 
    • Married 6/1/2012
    • BFP #1 - 11/17/2012 -  MC 12/10/2012
    • BFP #2 - 2/12/2013 - EDD 10/17/2013 - DD Born 10/10/2013
    • BFP #3 - 1/29/2014 - Ectopic pregnancy discovered 1/31/2014
    • BFP #4 - 9/28/2014 - EDD 6/4/2015 - DS Born 5/31/2015


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  • shelley1002shelley1002 member

    SS.  I don't think it should happen but is a nice guesture.  I guess it depends on the dynamic of each family.

    DH asked my dad.  He knew he didn't have to but felt it was the right thing to do.  They get along very well and I am very close with my family.

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  • Chrisanna0508Chrisanna0508 member
    edited October 2014
    I put yes, but I am very traditional. Having said that, DH went and asked my dad for his blessing and my dad said no, mainly for religious reasons. DH talked to me after that and we decided to get engaged anyway. My parents came around about 6 months later and now I think they like DH more than me sometimes! Hah

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  • emmylou78emmylou78 member
    SS: nice, but not necessary. SO did ask my mom before he proposed.
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  • muffyvonmuffmuffyvonmuff member
    I put yes, while I don't think you have to I was happy DH asked my Father.  
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  • stephl3055stephl3055 member
    Not important.  DH didn't ask my dad because we aren't really close (parents divorced young).  DH informed my mom he was going to propose to me, but never really asked for her permission.  For some reason she wanted him to ask her.   :-/

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  • Jalee85Jalee85 member
    No - but it's a nice gesture.
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  • 5speckledfrogs5speckledfrogs member
    Yes. It's tradition in my family/culture and was very important to me, MH, and my parents.
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  • Amjoy25Amjoy25 member
    No. My husband didn't know my dad well, and he knew my mom couldn't keep a secret...so he asked my best friend if it was ok. Lol.

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  • skyla13skyla13 member
    I think it really depends on the circumstances, but it was very important to me, my DH and my family. We're traditional that way, though. We were also 21 when we got engaged - I think it makes a lot more a difference for people in their later 20s, 30s, etc. who are more established, if that makes sense.
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  • DisneyMamaToBeTTCDisneyMamaToBeTTC member
    This is fun to see everyone's opinions and stories!

    My sister recently got engaged and her fiancé didn't ask much less even tell my mom (dad is deceased). I was and am annoyed by it. We are a small close family and they had been here on vacation a month before and could have easily mentioned it then. Hence the curiosity poll. ;)
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  • ballygirlballygirl member
    Gah - nope.

     

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  • Lee81Lee81 member
    I put ss because in general I think it's completely unnecessary. I would have thought it was weird if dh had asked my parents' permission or of they had known before I did. The only exception is if it important to the person being proposed to. I feel like the person doing the proposing should know if it's important to their partner and make sure to act accordingly.
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