DH Leave Options - Thoughts? — The Bump
November 2014 Moms

DH Leave Options - Thoughts?

edited October 2014 in November 2014 Moms
DH has two weeks of vacation to take when babies come. Instead of taking the straight two weeks off, he's talking about taking the first week off and then spacing out his vacation time over the following two weeks by working half days. His logic is that way he will at least be able to get to stay home with me part of the time longer.

I'm thinking that sounds fine, but I'm also a FTM and have no idea what to expect.

So, which would you prefer? (And anyone with input feel free to comment!)

DH Leave Options - Thoughts? 91 votes

DH taking a shorter leave but being home 24 hours
16% 15 votes
DH extending leave by working half days for part of his leave
65% 60 votes
SS / Other / I CLICK ALL THE THINGS!!!!
17% 16 votes

N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
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TTC since 2011
Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins! 
Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
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Re: DH Leave Options - Thoughts?

  • Im also a FTM so im not sure, but i think if he worked half days he would be more of a help, where as if he took a full week of vacation to stay home 24/7 and then go back to work then next week he would really only be helpful for that one week.
    My H doesn't get any time off but he is being switched to evening shift which i think is great and he will be there are night and during the morning to help.
    absolutelymaybe
  • If my DH was the only one who was there to help me I would prefer him to be able help longer even if it means working half days. (Depending on how long those half days are of course) Just me but an extra week of him helping would be nice and those 4-6 hours of him being at work would be worth it.


    Me 32 and DH 40

    Fur-baby named Bella

    1 MC Nov. 2013

    DD born Nov. 2, 2014

    Little 2 EDD Oct. 1 





    absolutelymaybe
  • @econosaurus - That is his entire vacation earned at this point. He accumulates vacation every week, so it will build back up, that's just all he is going to have at that time.

    I know we won't be doing any vacations when the babies are little, so we're good on that. As for staying home with them, that will probably be me more often than him. BUT, as I said, he continues to accrue it so it will be possible to take off a day here and there in the future. 

    N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
    image image
    TTC since 2011
    Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
    January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
    March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins! 
    Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
    image image
     
    image image image image 

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    silverwings72
  • I think half days for part of the time is a great idea. I know with me that first day he went back full time was the biggest challenge, and I only had singletons! Easing into it sounds like a good plan to me.
    _____________________________________________
    Married 6/16/01
    Eeney 7/24/05
    Meeney 3/23/07
    Miney 9/15/10
    Mo 11/4/14 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    N14 January Siggy Challenge - I Hate Work
    Mothers get 1 day off

    absolutelymaybe
  • Agree with what others have said about spreading out the time. For me it was really hard to have my husband around all the time and then he abruptly returned to work for full days. Maybe the half days could help you ease into being home alone.

    Pregnancy TickerDaisypath Anniversary tickers

    absolutelymaybeSarahHeckmegbanachek
  • I have no idea what my husband will be doing. Probably a day or two off and returning to work. But maybe not. He won't say. I think having the week and spacing out half days for the remainder sounds good. What other help, if any, do you have? If I am totally of base, forgive me, but while I was okay with a single baby, you are having twins right? It will probably be a little interesting either way, especially if colic or gastrointestinal issues pop up (hopefully you will be free of any of that!)
    absolutelymaybesmboswell1
  • Ahhhhh this is hard!!! :S I don't know what to tell you-does he have to decide and let work know soon?! If you end up with a c-section you are going to want him there as much as possible while you heal so I would say take it all at once, but if you don't need much recovery (ei-vaginal) maybe it would be good for him to spread it out?! I know that my mom stayed with us for nearly 2 weeks after the girls came home from the nicu so they were about 4 weeks old & I can't imagine having not had help those 1st 2 weeks home
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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    absolutelymaybe
  • @so72409 - OK, that scares me a little because, yes, this will be a C-section for sure. Baby A is not only breech, but she's a lot smaller than B so even if she flipped (which isn't likely) they don't like the idea of delivering such a large baby second (and neither do I -- so we're on the same page!).

    Maybe I will be taking my mom up on her offer to come down and stay with me?

    What types of things did you need help with?

    N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
    image image
    TTC since 2011
    Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
    January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
    March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins! 
    Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
    image image
     
    image image image image 

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    smboswell1carafern
  • @so72409 - No, i really appreciate your novel! I appreciate the advice from a BTDT twin mom.

    N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
    image image
    TTC since 2011
    Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
    January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
    March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins! 
    Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
    image image
     
    image image image image 

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    so72409smboswell1JustJainey
  • I think the half days would be better. That way you would get some time alone with babies every day, but you will have help over a longer period of time.

    Nov. '14 January Siggy : Work Sucks!

     

    Me 32-DH 38

    Married July 14, 2007  ----- TTC # 1 October 1, 2013
    BFP   March 7, 2014  -----  EDD November 17, 2014 ---- Baby boy born November 16, 2014

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    absolutelymaybe
  • @so72409 - No, i really appreciate your novel! I appreciate the advice from a BTDT twin mom.

    Glad you are getting some great practical advice! Your mom/MIL aren't too faraway, so that is nice that they can come help if/when needed. I had no experience with babies prior to my son, so it is interesting.

    Definitely be prepared for a "wtf am I doing with a baby? What do I do now?" Sort of moment the first day you have them home. I just remember getting my son home, putting him in the bouncer, looking at my husband, and asking "what now?".

    Also the first time I showered. I was so freaked out to leave him unattended and ended up bringing the bouncer inthe bathroom because I didn't know what else todo.
    absolutelymaybeso72409JustJainey
  • @emnob28 - I think if he went back to work for half a day and on that first day, I like freaked out and said I needed him home all day for the rest of the week, his work would accommodate it. Not that I think I will do that, but they love him and are really understanding with family issues. Actually, he also has the option for coworkers to donate vacation time to him (he's donated to them in the past), but I know that's the last thing he wants to ask people to do so hopefully it won't come to that.

    N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
    image image
    TTC since 2011
    Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
    January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
    March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins! 
    Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
    image image
     
    image image image image 

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    so72409smboswell1
  • I just wanted to add that whenever it is you have your first day/week alone with them you're going to be totally freaked out-and that's okay and normal! There was more then one occasion when DH came home to all 3 of his girls in tears. BUT!!!!! As crazy as the first 1-3 months are going to be, they will fly by and you will look back on this time and be in awe that you-YOU!-are a mom of multiples and you not only survived, but thrived!!!!!

    ....now don't ask me how the hell to parent after multiples. I'm freaking out about handle toddler tornadoes and a newborn! Lol! (Haha-actually they are going to daycare so I figure it out slowly!)
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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    absolutelymaybesmboswell1JustJainey
  • I voted to do half days! It would be an easier transition for him to be there part of the day for a couple weeks before he goes back full time! :)
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    absolutelymaybe
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