Community› The Bump Message Boards› Single Parents
Single Parents
New Discussion

Just gonna leave my vent here

filxoxofilxoxo member
edited October 2014 in Single Parents
So BD had us in and out of court a handful of times because he wanted to get his CS lowered (below the state mandatory 20%). He took days off of work and drove 3 hours one way each time because he really, really couldn't afford $65 a week. He would send me countless text messages about his bills and school loans and how much debt he was in. He would tell me he couldn't afford food and other necessities and I really thought about temporarily lowering his CS to give him a break.
Then one day at court, while we were waiting for the judge I asked him about this second job he was supposed to be working on and he told me the ball wasn't rolling as fast as he hoped because he wanted to take some "me time". :|
After that I was like, you know what, it's up to you, if you can't afford to live than you do something about it. I'm not gonna take money away from our daughter for you to take me time. The judge pretty much let me decide what I wanted to do so it was ruled that the CS was fair (and he even said "This might be wrong for me to say sitting up here in my seat. But $65 a week really isn't a lot of money.")

Well then a couple weeks later his girlfriend came with him to drop off our daughter and she had this shiny new engagement ring on her finger and I just laughed to myself and wondered how big of a FOOL I would have looked like and felt if I would have let him lower the CS that he couldn't afford. HA

image

BEAN *06/29/2012*

Report Reply to Post

Re: Just gonna leave my vent here

  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    Good for you for getting it done right!

    BTW your DD is gorgeous!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Throwing leaves <3
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Good for you for not lowering the cs for him. And unfortunatly ive been in the gf position. I married a guy who couldnt afford to put gas in his car because he spent all his money on drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol. From the outside its easy to side eye her. Having been there... you tend to be stupid and think you can fix him/things will get better/hell change for me/hell be different with me.

    Love makes you stuoid sometimes. But again, good for you for standing your ground.
    image
    Report Reply
  • acbarbouracbarbour member
    edited October 2014

    I have a similar child support situation, mines is $63 a week.  The judge in my case told BD that he is voluntarily under employed and should he ask for a reduction he may actually get an increase.  just got notification that he may be trying for the reduction to $0 because I am married now.  Thanks, but what about the $18K + that was accrued before my wedding.

    Hang in there and stick to your guns.  You don't get the easy way out being a single parent and neither does he.  Tell your BD what I tell mine "Times are tough for everyone, take care of your kid."

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • filxoxofilxoxo member
    acbarbour said:

    I have a similar child support situation, mines is $63 a week.  The judge in my case told BD that he is voluntarily under employed and should he ask for a reduction he may actually get an increase.  just got notification that he may be trying for the reduction to $0 because I am married now.  Thanks, but what about the $18K + that was accrued before my wedding.

    Hang in there and stick to your guns.  You don't get the easy way out being a single parent and neither does he.  Tell your BD what I tell mine "Times are tough for everyone, take care of your kid."

    BD actually got a pay raise and I told him I wouldn't ask to raise CS but he wanted to pay close to $0 also. He claimed his $65 (+ supporting her at his house) is over 100% of her needs a month. He also wanted me to drop the back child support because he "heard that one of his friends had done that." I'm glad your judge ruled fairly. I'm sure they see people all the time working under their skill level just so they don't have to pay as much child support. It only hurts them and their child in the process.


    jellybean529 said:
    Good for you for getting it done right!

    BTW your DD is gorgeous!
    Thanks you!! ^-^
    becwheat said:
    I can't imagine ever wanting to be with someone who was not willing to pay even the BARE MINIMUM to support their child. 

    You were correct in not giving him a break. What if you wanted a break from supporting your child? That is dumb! A person can't just take a financial break from supporting a child... 

    Good for you.
    I asked him if I was ever in a financial hardship if he would start paying me more and he was said no way. That he's not responsible for supporting me. I was like, that essentially what you're asking me to do. It's like I'm giving you back money weekly for you to support yourself. I'm going to be taking out student loans and will have the same debts. He didn't get it. So mind numbing!

    image

    BEAN *06/29/2012*

    Report Reply
  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Boys are dumb.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • ST3WDST3WD member
    This is ridiculous! Thank goodness your judge was able to see reason, unlike BD. Being a part-time dad and having a gf is not providing 100% for your adorable daughter. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP: 01/10/2010, EDD: 10/10/2010, Loss: 03/16/2010

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    BFP: 07/14/2014, EDD: 03/04/2015
    imageimageimage
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"