I think I'm ready to re-intro loss & opp mentioned

shirleymaeby · October 2014

Hey Ladies,

Some of you may remember me from a couple of months ago when I ran Thankful Thursdays and the IUI check-in (I had to change my screen name for privacy reasons). I got my first ever BFP at the beginning of September as the result of my third IUI but unfortunately we lost the baby due to chromosomal abnormalities. We were devastated that this happened after 4 years of trying and spent a lot of time crying into wine glasses about it, but we've had a few weeks to recover so I think I'm ready to hang out again. We've got a consult scheduled with the RE at the beginning of November so we can figure out next steps. Right now I'm technically benched while we wait for my cycles to return to normal, but I've missed 3T and having people to talk to about all of my IF frustrations, so I'm back!! Knowing that I can even get pregnant is a big deal for us and we're a lot more hopeful about our chances when we start trying again.

My BFF who is pregnant right now suffered multiple losses before her current pregnancy. On my birthday she gave me this hideous old teddy bear dressed as a bride, holding a tinier baby teddy bear. She told me that her paternal grandmother had lost a baby and that a friend bought it for her as a sympathy gift and a good luck charm for her next pregnancy. When she got pregnant again with BFF's dad she felt like it had worked. Years later, when BFF's mom also suffered a loss the grandmother passed it on to her and then she got pregnant with BFF. After BFF's third loss her mom sent her the teddy bear in the mail and told her about the history of it. And then BFF gave it to me and cried while she told me that it will bring me luck with my own pregnancy whenever it happens again. It was seriously the nicest most beautiful gift I have ever received and I thank God that I found this beautiful person to be my friend.

I've spent the last few weeks of recovery rooting for my baseball team (GO GIANTS!!) because they made it to the world series, unpacking our new house, and indulging in my new guilty pleasure: trashy romance novels. I've always loved to read but I pride myself in my good taste in literature. I needed something to read while I was laid out on Vicodin after the D&C and I didn't have the emotional energy to get wrapped up in something depressing or heavy. For some reason I bought a cheap romance novel on my kindle on a whim and then got sucked into a string of bodice-rippers. I gotta say...it's nice to have something not serious to focus on even though I am deeply embarrassed about my new obsession and haven't even told DH what I've been reading. When he asks I throw out random "high brow" titles. He currently thinks I am WAY into Count of Monte Cristo. Thank God I've watched the movie in case he asks me what it's about...

So yeah...that's me. I'm back to play and I'm looking forward to meeting all the new ladies who joined since I left and reconnecting with those of you who are still hanging out. All my love goes out to those who have also experienced losses. FX for those of you waiting to cycle or currently in treatment. And hugs for those that need them.

theholmanherd · October 2014

Hey, I remember you! I heard about your loss and I'm so sorry you went through that. Of course we would love to have you

Welcome back and good luck on your next cycle!

shirleymaeby · October 2014

@rainbowbridge14 - The consult is November 5. GL at your appt!! I really loved Dr. Cedars and her support staff is amaze-balls.

@firstarabesque - The first one I read was called Stepbrother Dearest and it was about a forbidden crush between step-siblings. The ones I've been reading actually haven't had the most interesting titles. And they're all contemporary so pretty much every single one is about a guy with tattoos and a "troubled" past or a"big secret" (I only used the term bodice-ripper because I think it's funny). The plots are ridiculous but whatevs. I also read Outlander and then watched every episode of the Starz show based on the book...oh dear if you want a swoon worthy book boyfriend Jamie Fraser is your man!!

:x $:\$ ">

BunnyBerry · October 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such a blessing that you and YH have experienced some healing and are ready to work with your RE again. That teddy bear is an incredible story!

And LOL at your bodice rippers AKA the Count of Monte Cristo.

shirleymaeby · October 2014

@ozma23 - Okay...I really didn't like 50 Shades of Grey because the writing is seriously terrible (like worse than most romance novels in my opinion) and I think the relationship is borderline abusive. BUT if you want some steamy stuff about a guy who isn't a total douche canoe I really liked "Wait for You" by J. Lynn. It's a very sweet love story.

OMG...I'm seriously full of suggestions on romance novels...who have I become!? Whatever...I'm owning it. Maybe I'll start a weekly romance thread where I suggest the latest and greatest in "bedtime" stories. **wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

dancerspose · October 2014

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have an amazing support network with YH and BFF, though. That is a truly touching story about the teddy bear.

I love your comments about the trashy romance novels. Those are totally my guilty pleasure. I always kept the habit in check because I was embarassed to have them in the house, but DH got me an e-reader when the very first models came out year ago, and even since it's been game on. Have you discovered the free e-books on Amazon? There are tons of contemporary romances there. As a caution, it's usually a series about all the siblings in a family or such things and the first book is free to get you hooked on the characters. It's still fun though.

shirleymaeby · October 2014

@triathlete23 - Thank you so much. I think you're doing a great job and you should definitely keep the thread alive. When you get YOUR BFP I'll take it back from you.

@shafwilson - I actually JUST saw a bunch of free or $.99 books pop up in my suggested reading list on Amazon and downloaded some free ones. All the ones I've read so far have been super cheap...like $4. And if I didn't have an e-reader where no one can see what I'm doing I would totally not be reading them. I even angle them away from other people when I'm reading on the train so no one sees how many times the word "quivering" appears over my shoulder. LOL

@rainbowbridge14 - I hadn't read a book for entertainment in months because of school. I can get through like 1 a day because they're really short and I read really fast which is how I completed like 8 books over the last two weeks. Since we moved to the East Bay I have about 15 more minutes on the train than I used to.

I am loving that my guilty pleasure is turning out to be not so embarrassing after all. Thanks guise!!

shirleymaeby · October 2014

@hrushka - Getting in the mood for the fertile window is a pretty big perk beside the general "easy reading" benefit.

lebradford · October 2014

I'm so sorry about your loss, but welcome back. I totally teared up while reading your story. That was so sweet of your friend. I hope it works for you!! Good luck at your consult. :-)

meredithcarole · October 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome back.

Shauntee · October 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. You story about the bear made me cry. What an amazingly sweet and loving gesture.

shirleymaeby · October 2014

@iputketchuponketchup - Thanks lady! Now that I'm back and into drinking big time, we should schedule a Friday night 3T game of Cards Against Humanity. We briefly discussed it once and never got around to it.

You bring the win. I'll bring the beer.

ETA: I meant to write "you bring the wine" but "you bring the win" works pretty well too.

BandM14 · October 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Your friend sounds like an awesome person, and I hope the good luck charm brings you lots of it!

williegsocks · October 2014

I'm so sorry that we both have to be back, but I'm glad you're feeling up to joining us again. I had a shocking bfp on September 27th and then found out it was nonviable and had my D&C last Friday. Thankfully, I've physically healed and DH and I are on our way to being fully emotionally healed.

That was very sweet of your friend. It's nice to have at least one beautiful person in our lives, I'm blessed to have that too. If you need anything please let me know and hopefully we both won't be here too long

HUGS

shirleymaeby · October 2014

@williegsocks - I'm so sorry for your loss. I was a wreck for the first few days and the day of my D&C. But I've been able to find some peace and was surprised yesterday when I realized it had been days since I'd even thought about it. That's really what made me feel like I was ready to come back. I took a bump break for a couple of weeks because I just didn't feel like I really belonged anywhere. Anyway, I'm happy you're doing better. FX for you that you're able to get another BFP soon. ((HUGS))

deelopi9 · October 2014

Welcome back and I'm sorry for your loss. That has to be one of the most touching and thoughtful gift. It made me cry hearing your story. Hugs

LindseyM2012 · October 2014

I'm sorry you have to be back here, but welcome back anyway. Hugs to you!!

dominicandreamer · October 2014

shirleymaeby said:
My BFF who is pregnant right now suffered multiple losses before her current pregnancy. On my birthday she gave me this hideous old teddy bear dressed as a bride, holding a tinier baby teddy bear. She told me that her paternal grandmother had lost a baby and that a friend bought it for her as a sympathy gift and a good luck charm for her next pregnancy. When she got pregnant again with BFF's dad she felt like it had worked. Years later, when BFF's mom also suffered a loss the grandmother passed it on to her and then she got pregnant with BFF. After BFF's third loss her mom sent her the teddy bear in the mail and told her about the history of it. And then BFF gave it to me and cried while she told me that it will bring me luck with my own pregnancy whenever it happens again. It was seriously the nicest most beautiful gift I have ever received and I thank God that I found this beautiful person to be my friend.

Your post brought me to tears. I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that your friends gift will bring you luck on your future cycle.

With a heavy heart, welcome back. I hope your time back is short.

Edited because I don't know what I'm saying.

amus112904 · October 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome back

RogueZymosis · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. The story about the bear was a heartwarming story. I'm glad you've got great support. Welcome back. Enjoy your wine and trashy novels!

wanderlust508 · October 2014

***Children mentioned, not mine***

@shirleymaeby‌ - I've been MIA and mostly just lurking lately. But I've been thinking of you, especially since you posted recently about your loss. I hate that you have to be back here but I pray that your next RE appointment will put you back on the path to a BFP soon. Big (((hugs))) to you. So glad you have an amazing friend like the one who gave you the bear ...that is the sweetest.

LOL at the bodice rippers. No shame in some trashy reading here and there! I'm in the Bahamas on vacation right now ...I'm happy to be here on a getaway with DH but I have to admit, it's not as great as it sounds ... we are here with his parents, siblings/their spouses ... and their kids (a 1 year old girl and an almost 2 year old boy). The kids are so adorable ...I am loving the play time with them but it also breaks my heart. And it's raining today so I haven't been able to do much aside from staying indoors and playing with the kiddos! Anyway, while DH's siblings are putting their kids to bed (& DH went down to the sports bar with his dad), I watched the end of the Giants game in our hotel room. Good game, but tough loss for the Giants

FX for a come back in game 4! Be good to yourself ...although it sucks so bad that you have to be back here, I have missed your wit and positive attitude.

kristyn831 · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome back and good luck with your RE.

mmmKayy · October 2014

Welcome back friend.

1) The teddy bear story made me cry. But omg how sweet of your bff to give it to you. And the history! So cool that it's helped 3 generations.
2) "He currently thinks I am WAY into Count of Monte Cristo." I literally LOL'd.

AnnaClaire256 · October 2014

Hey, darlin. I'm am so sorry that you have to come back to us. I've been thinking about you often and you've stayed in my prayers! Your story about the teddy bear made me tear up, too. What a wonderful friend! You're so lucky to have someone like that in your life!

I've tried to keep the ball rollin with the IUI Check-In...probably not as effectively as you, Ms. Spreadsheet!

It's a lot of work but fun to keep up with everyone!

I hope you're KU again in no time....in the mean time, welcome back. You've been missed!

shirleymaeby · October 2014

Thank you everyone, seriously!! I didn't even realize HOW MUCH I missed you guys until I came back. I hate that you're all still here, but my heart is happy to have so many familiar faces to help me through this loss.

ritacita · October 2014

Aww, how did I miss this?! I am so so sorry for your loss. You got your BFP shortly after I joined this group so I was really rooting hard for you. I'm both happy and so sad that you are back

good call on the trashy novels. They work wonders for getting your mind off heavier things. I have NO idea why, because like you said, they're awful. But they work! I'm sending you all the hugs today.

Want a personalized experience?

I think I'm ready to re-intro loss & opp mentioned

Re: I think I'm ready to re-intro loss &amp; opp mentioned

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

I think I'm ready to re-intro **loss &amp; opp mentioned**

Re: I think I'm ready to re-intro **loss &amp;amp; opp mentioned**

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

I think I'm ready to re-intro loss & opp mentioned

Re: I think I'm ready to re-intro loss & opp mentioned