Am I being mean?

la79al · October 2014

Tonight is our towns Halloween parade and it's a HUGE deal, like 2+ hours (and it doesn't start until 7:30). I am taking my DDs (6 and 4) by myself. Yesterday DD2 told my cousins wife that tonight is the parade. Cousins wife mentioned I should take her kid along. Kid is in DDs class, they are best friends, super best friends, we do soooo much with them. But I just don't feel like taking the kid along to the parade. She is a good kid, and at 6 not really a whole lot of work plus she gets along very well with both of my girls, so now I feel bad for not offering. She won't go if we don't take her, her mom works and her dad doesn't do parades ( I don't blame him on this one, parking nightmare, late night, etc). I think part of it is, after so many weeks of morning sickness and then a cold, I am finally starting to feel normal again and would like to spend some time with my kids, being excited because they are excited. Help me out. Do I add another kid because hey why not or do I carefully ignore any mention of the parade today when we pick the kids up from school?

chickaboo1974 · October 2014

I see nothing wrong with not taking her. You are entitled to do things with your own children alone. If your Cousin's wife did not specifically ask you to take child- then I wouldn't even have a second thought about not taking her.

A pet peeve of mine is when adults use children as go betweens and in this case it is almost passive aggressive. Honestly just because her husband "doesn't do parades" is not an excuse in my opinion for him to not take his daughter and try to push it onto you. If he doesn't want to take her it is on him to explain why she is not going. Which is because her own father doesn't want to go.

Linnea503 · October 2014

I would probably offer to take her, assuming it's easy enough to take all three kids in your car.

That said, if you really don't want to, don't! Just wanting some quality time with your kids is a legitimate reason. Just don't bring it up again with them.

caranichole · October 2014

I don't think it's mean to not take her. Quality time with your own kids is important and she is not your responsibility. To me, It's a parents responsibility to step outside of the thing they do and don't do and make sacrifices for their children. I don't particularly enjoy activities that involve glue - seriously, I hate glue - but I do them for my kids. If her father doesn't take her, that's on him. Not your fault! And if she doesn't end up going, she won't suffer a lifetime for it.

SouthernAcorn · October 2014

I understand just wanting to do things with your own kids, especially since it seems like it has been awhile since you were able to spend some quality time with them. If it was just a random friend or kid from your child's class, I would say don't worry about them. But, since your dd and the girl are close, why not? Your dd might even enjoy herself more with a friend.
Unless the kid is crazy, then it's a definite no go.

Cherryblossoms07 · October 2014

I agree with Caranichole. After being sick for so long I wouldn't feel like taking an additional child either.

teedaalee · October 2014

Maybe you could explain to your cousins’ wife what you just shared with us? It sounds like you have a close enough relationship with them to let her know how you’re feeling about it. Hope everything works out!

teedaalee0712

Guennie · October 2014

I can see both opinions here. On the one hand it doesn't sound like she would really be any additional load on your shoulders, but if you really don't want to bring her you are not obligated. If I were in your shoes and my decision was no, I would tell the mother I just wasn't up for bringing another kid along. Especially coming from someone who is pregnant, that would be completely understandable.

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