Rough day. Feeling alone and scared.

designchica · October 2014

Today was very rough for me. I'm feeling very emotional and I'm struggling with living alone and just the overall sense of not having as much support during this pregnancy as I feel I need. Then, to make things more challenging, I started having excruciating stabbing shooting pain in my rectum and lower back. I called my doctor and she said I should go to the hospital to rule out early labor. I knew it wasn't labor but was worried it might be something else. Fortunately it seems to be nothing but I was terrified and in significant pain. I realized just how alone I really am in dealing with these things. And to top off my bad day, I was told by someone I really care about that I'm being crazy to be so emotional. I also made a mistake on something important and was remedy pretty bed for that, was yelled at and scolded for procrastinating. I felt so stupid because I simply didn't realize it needed to be done. I wasn't procrastinating but I truly didn't know I was supposed to do it. I feel pretty worthless and ashamed. I am feeling like I need more support than I have been getting from those closest to me, but I don't know how to ask. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. It's just been a rough day and I wish I had someone by my side who was there for me right now and who understood how difficult this can be.

nesenotes · October 2014

I'm so sorry you've had a rough day and feel alone. That must be so difficult. I don't have much advice but I can offer a virtual hug.

designchica · October 2014

Thank you, I will gladly take that virtual hug!

haloform · October 2014

I'm sending you a hug, too. I'm sorry it's been a rough day. I hope that tomorrow will be a better one.

Lately when I've been having rough days, I have been trying to tell myself that they can't all be winners, accept that the day was shitty, and know that the next day is a new opportunity for a better one. That sounds cheesy as hell, but as a person who typically gets very agitated when things aren't going well, it has surprisingly helped me more than I expected to just be like "yeah you know what, today kinda sucked. Maybe tomorrow won't."

I like @summersunshine916 's suggestion of looking for a class designed for single mothers, too.

2JEL · October 2014

Sending you a hug and support as well. I definitely feel way more emotional as pregnancy drags on-- I think it would be great if you could find a local group of moms who are going through or have gone through the same thing. I've heard people suggest meetup, often your doctors or hospital can suggest local support groups or breast-feeding specific support groups, I get the sense that La Lechee League (sic) is very accepting (so long as you BF) and meets regularly. I'm not sure what your religious orientation is, if any, but they are often good places to find community groups and large gatherings of older women with charitable instincts and free time on their hands.

It seems people usually make new friends and support systems through their newborns and I think it will happen for you as you are strong enough to reach out and ask for help.

Lexxilou1986 · October 2014

Thinking of you and sending some love your way! This is time is so hard and can only be described as miserable if you don't have a good support system. Try to keep your chin up and stay positive! It will help to think of the sweet baby you are growing in there! (Hugs)

ColeyCannoli · October 2014

After all you've been through, I wish I could give you an in-person hug. I'm sorry you've had such a rough day. You're doing great and you should be proud at how well you are taking care of yourself and your baby on your own. I hope you can find a group somewhere at a church/temple or maybe a mom group in town. Try Meetup.com, they list a lot of local groups with different interests there. Doesn't even have to be mom groups, but something you like that you can find some like minded friends with.

Good luck, hun! Thinking of ya.

designchica · October 2014

Thank you for all of the support. I do see on meetup that there are some groups for moms locally which I am going to connect with.

Sweetsix06 · October 2014

Sending more hugs your way. A local mommy support group is a great idea. Also, we are always here for you if you need to vent. Ignore those that are stressing you out; that's the last thing you need right now. Everything will work out.

amedbery · October 2014

I'm so sorry you feel alone. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the past two weeks so you aren't alone there! First I would follow PPs suggestions and look for a local group to join. But I would also pick some close friends and/or family members to confide in. Sometimes we, as people, don't know someone needs support until they let us know and the fact that you need support right now isn't a sign of any weakness. Pregnancy is tough! I hope today is a better day than yesterday was. At least it is hump day!

LinziLoo09 · October 2014

Thoughts, prayers, and hugs coming your way, dear! You're so strong, but any day can be difficult when the negatives just keep piling up. I hope you are able to find some local support soon and that things improve asap. <<HUGS>>

aandkmom22 · October 2014

Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling so down and alone. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I can commiserate with you. I am not a single mother but I do feel like one because I get no help or support from my husband and lately I have been feeling like maybe I'd be better off without him. I hope you realize you have that baby you are carrying. You may not feel it now, but one day after it is here you will realize that is the greatest love you will have ever felt for another human being. You just have to make through the hurdle of the last couple weeks and like with everything the closer you get the harder it is. I hope you feel better soon and in the meantime please accept the creepy internet hugs.

mlee116 · October 2014

No advice, but I'm sending you some internet hugs too. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this on your own. Go easy on yourself, you have a lot on your shoulders right now. Like PPs said, it might be a good idea to reach out for some support through groups or try getting together with some friends/family. And of course, you can always come here!

rshamos · October 2014

You get a hug from me too. I am amazed at how well you have handled everything you've been through so far with this pregnancy. Don't ever be ashamed of your emotions. Hormones or not, you are completely entitled to feel them. I agree with pp to look into some groups. It helps to see that there are others in your same situation that are doing well.

BrainCellSup · October 2014

I'm so sorry about your day, and I really wish I could join the others in giving you a big group hug. I agree that finding the support you need is crucial, and you've taken the first step that's often difficult by acknowledging you need more support than you currently have. As for the person who told you you're being overly emotional, screw them. That's a selfish reaction and not the kind of negativity you need to be around, especially if it makes you feel so sad. I hope you have a better day today, and that you feel better physically and emotionally.

RaeChay · October 2014

@designchica‌ - you are so strong! You've been through SO much this pregnancy and you have done some really major things to ensure your own future happiness and that of your LO. These are the truly important things. We all make mistakes from time to time- the point is that we learn from them. I don't know if yours was job-related, but I have had times where I miss something at work and it freaks me out halfway to death, and I question myself. But we learn.

PPs have made good suggestions about finding support so you don't feel so alone. An easy way too is simply text a friend and ask if they've got time to lend an ear. I know what it's like to be hesitant to ask for help- but the people that love you want to help, they may not know that you need it however.

Hope today is a better day.

ambernjj · October 2014

Sorry your having such a hard time. I hope things get better for you. I will definately keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Eora3 · October 2014

Big hugs!! Tell those judgey people to STFU! You have every right to be emotional and feel whatever you feel right now.

You need supportive people around you. I am glad to see that you are going to reach out for support in your local community.

I am sorry that today sucked so bad. Try to think of one little thing you can plan to do tomorrow to make it a little better. Wear a cute top, make a favorite snack, stop by a local pet store and hold a bunny, listen to your favorite song on repeat, just anything silly little thing to give you a moment of peace or joy to get you through the day.