Friends/family coming into town for L&D

nbad311 · October 2014

I’ve been going back and forth on this, but when push comes to shove (literally!), I think I will want my mom to be with me for L&D. She is totally on board, but will honor whatever I wish.

However, she:

- lives up north and I’m down south, so it’s a 2.5 hour flight away

- still works FT (meaning she can’t come down and just sit around for 2 weeks, if I end up being late)

So the plan would be to make the call to the mom bullpen as soon as I’m showing any signs of true labor, and have her get on the soonest possible flight out to come down here, hoping that she could arrive within 8-12 hours. And then she’d like to stay a week and help out around the house, which I am totally all about. Any 2^nd/3^rdTMs go through similar scenarios? Were the travel plans just like that, at the drop of a hat and last minute? Flights will probably be $500-700 one way, depending on whether LO wants to come on a random Wednesday morning or popular flight time-Sunday afternoon, so I told my mom I’d help her foot the bill if it was not affordable for her (and told DH this would just be considered “misc baby costs”).

MapleMomma · October 2014

My mom lives 2.5 hours away and will be driving down as soon as I give her the green light. My aunt who is retired but lives cross country, is booking a flight for a couple days before my due date. If I go before, oh well. She specifically wants to be there that week because all of DH's family (who live really close by) are taking a ski trip and will be cross country.

edit- clarification - my aunt is coming those two weeks in case we need help without DH's family there, not because she doesn't like his family.

Ducktale · October 2014

I'm not telling a soul about labor until the baby is born. I don't want the pressure of knowing people are waiting on me.

CatLadyTX · October 2014

With my first, we agreed that no parents could visit until Christmas (he was due 12/1) so nobody could get butt hurt. As it turns out, FIL was visiting for Thanksgiving and DS decided that the day FIL was supposed to leave was the day he wanted to make his debut. My regular OB appointment was the morning I went in, and I called my mom from the elevator between her office and L&D to let her know what was going on. My mom was immediately shitty about it and accused me of planning the whole thing behind her back.

After that display of childish behavior, I told myself I'd never let a parent visit anywhere near birth again. It later occurred to me that I need someone to help with DS, so she is coming down a few days before my induction is scheduled, and staying for a week after. We spoke to FIL this weekend about coming down if I need to go on bed rest, or if I go more than a few days early. My mom will love that.

lorifromwi · October 2014

My birthmom (I's adopted) will be coming home from South Korea for the month of February and staying with us. I figure if she's willing to travel 24-36 hours, she gets to stay. Plus, if I go into labor at some un-Godly hour, she will be at the house to watch little E and we won't have to worry about it.

I know this is cramping my mom's style and she's annoyed by it all. She hasn't said so directly, but she's got some jealousy issues she needs to deal with. @CatLadyTX...I would expect something like that from my mom. It sucks.

Only the DH will be at the hospital with me. I'm sure I'm going to be extra moody and I don't want people hawking over me. I just want to work with my medical professionals at that point and drop the PC BS.

NQueen11 · October 2014

My mom just had this situation two weeks ago. My mom is in Minnesota and my sister is in California. Mom had tickets to go, and sister ended up being two weeks late. Mom found an airline (I think it was southwest) that would allow you to change your flight up to so far in advance without penalties. So they changed it and flew out when my sister was 1.1 weeks overdue. Then they were supposed to fly home the day before she ended up getting induced so they changed their flight home and extended their stay two days so they could be there.

Nvywife · October 2014

Ducktale said:

I'm not telling a soul about labor until the baby is born. I don't want the pressure of knowing people are waiting on me.

But I'm your labor buddy

maltwin1 · October 2014

This is almost exactly what we did. Jack was almost 3 weeks early, so everyone was unprepared when my water broke at 7:30 am. My parents and brother were out of town skiing and it was a mad dash to try to get my mom packed up, on a shuttle to from the resort to the airport and on a flight to San Diego. The airport was an hour away and not large at all, so flights were limited. I have no idea what it cost to get from there to here, but she said that she wouldn't have missed it for the world. She made it just in time! She literally walked in the room right as I was starting to push.

kefttsc · October 2014

DH's whole family is in town, but my parents are 8 hours away (somewhere it is very difficult to fly here from) and my sister is an hour and a half away.

We are going to be planning a c-section, but with twins, we are fairly confident it won't be as easy as that scheduling wise. Worst case scenario, we will call them and they will get in the car ASAP and drive on up.

AnotherSun · October 2014

My plan is to wait to tell my mom until it is too late for her to get here in time. I want her afterwards but her "encouragement" during just makes me want to punch her in the face. I don't know if my sisters will be able to make it and none of my in laws care. (They didn't meet dd until she was two months. They live 15 minutes away)

lizzybean · October 2014

I went through this back and forth, too. But my Mom (and everyone else) was and still is a 9+ plane ride away. Sooooo.... that didn't happen. ILs had a flight scheduled for my due date, but little bean decided to come 8 days early so it was just the two of us, which was just fine by us!

I skyped with my Mom from the hospital right after they started my induction, and called them again 16 hours later after Ella had made her appearance.

mandamoochie · October 2014

Last time we gave everyone the 4 am wake up call that i was going to the hospital because the nearest one is still 1.5+ hrs away. Didnt matter because little man still waited an extra 37 hrs (a water bubble impeded his progress).

This time the call is more urgent since we need someone to actually watch ds.

Maple403 · October 2014

I had that plan with my mom, until my mom lost her damn mind and started acting super demanding about her time with her "grandbaby". Now I'm trying to get her instead to come for 1 week about 2 weeks after my due date. Since she lives 13 hours' drive away from me, I would rather her book a ticket when there is guaranteed to be a baby, then be subject to last minute flight prices and be waiting by phone to rush out the door for the delivery. Even if she got on the first plane out, there'd be a good chance she'd miss it, so then it would be a lot of stress for her (and me) for nothing.

That being said- since you have decided you want your mom there, I think your plan is the best way to go. Just keep in mind that after the best intentions to get her there in time, she might miss the event.

Dani_Love · October 2014

After the drama of my first birth I'm trying really hard not to tell anyone when I am in labor. I'd rather have the baby rest a few hours and then call. My whole family lives here though except for my brother.

t8keepr03 · October 2014

My parents live 17 hours away by car. They refuse to fly and they need to be here to watch DD because they are both retired and my in laws will be working. So with the big change and DH and I being at the hospital we didn't really want DD going to daycare, visiting the hospital and not staying at her house. That just seems like way too much change for an 18 month old. The plan is for my parents to drive right around my due date or at any sign of labor. I am just hoping they are here to take DD but I know that probably won't be the case. With DD they didn't arrive until the day after we were home from the hospital because.