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February 2015 Moms
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April Bachelorette

jmcgra06jmcgra06 member
edited October 2014 in February 2015 Moms
I just got an email about a friend's bachelorette party scheduled out of state in mid-April. She was one of my best friends in high school and was in my wedding party when we got married 5 years ago, but we have fell a little bit out of touch lately. That said, she's one of those people that I can call once a year and catch right back up with. It looks like I won't know about 90% of the people going, so that's sort of weighing on me. I've actually never left DD alone over night, so the idea of leaving her and #2 alone (with DH) when he's only a few weeks old is a bit much. My first thought was that I could book a separate hotel room for DD, DS and DH and check in with them during down time and sleep there as well. Either way, I'll have to pump or nurse every few hours, and I honestly can't imagine either one.

I think at this point, I can obviously tell them I'm going to play it by ear, but barring any medical surprises, I'm pretty sure I know how I'm going to be feeling about this come April. I'll feel guilty, old and like a crappy friend if I don't go. I'll feel guilty, old, and like a crappy mother if I do go. And I'll feel lame, old and why-did-I-even-bother-coming-to-this-because-I-have-kids-in-tow if I get DH to book a hotel room with DD and DS and stay with them for most of the night.

So... what do you think?
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April Bachelorette 110 votes

Go by yourself! Bachelorette parties are the best!
15% 17 votes
Stay home! You have two kids - you're too old for this ish!
32% 36 votes
Make it a family get away! If you have to pump every few hours anyway, you might as well get some newborn snuggles, too!
51% 57 votes
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Re: April Bachelorette

  • erobbins09erobbins09 member
    All 3 make total sense so it's a tough call. I think playing it by ear in the event that something changes is smart. Who knows, baby #2 may be super chill and DH DD and the baby would love to go relax in the hotel room and watch movies and cuddle up while you go out with your friends and get some "getting out of the house" time. I know our nieces get SO excited whenever they go stay at a hotel so I'm sure DD will love it!

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  • t8keepr03t8keepr03 member
    I am standing up in a wedding the first week of May and the bachelorette party is in April. There are 10 bridesmaids and 8 of them are just out of college, unmarried and no kids.they are all about 6 years younger than me. I will not be attending the bachelorette party unless it is local so I can go for a little bit. The wedding is out of town and my DH my DD are all in the wedding as well so we can't afford bachelor and bachelorette parties out of town as well. Both the bride and groom are very understanding.
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  • mommaa1615mommaa1615 member
    I would stay home especially because you don't know 90% of the other girls ( who knows what they are like?!). If they are big party gals you will be the Debbie downer and that's annoying too lol. As long as you go to the Bridal Shower I think that's fine and the Bride will understand. I also have a Bachelorette Party in May but it's my SIL so I will be going but only for 1 night.
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  • dees14dees14 member
    She won't expect you to go with a new baby. Maybe wait til after baby's here to see if you still want to go?
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  • mandamoochiemandamoochie member
    I voted family getaway if it's in the cards for you guys financially.

    I've done weddings and Bachelorette partied and pumped throughout, it isn't that bad. Now that being said it was only 1 child I left overnight and he wasnt that young (maybe...6 months).
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  • mahalo3mahalo3 member
    If I was another guest of the party, I think it would be weird for one of the other girls to bring her family. I know they wouldn't hang out with you guys, but it would still be weird. I personally would just not go. I don't think I would want to leave my newborn, and I would think the bride would understand. 


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  • mrsclark731mrsclark731 member
    Hotel rooms personally creep me out (I'm OCD about germs especially with a newborn). Unless I'm staying at a Ritz or some place fabulous in a fabulous location to distract me....I'd say stay home. I agree what PP's have said about not knowing a lot of the other girls and whatnot too.

    A hard decision....but I think the bride should be understanding either way. 
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  • AlygohomeAlygohome member
    I don't have a kid yet so it's easy for me to say go by yourself . I would play it by ear and see how you feel closer to the date.
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  • babycfeb2015babycfeb2015 member
    I also think it would be weird for your family to come with. Either go by yourself or don't go. Especially if its a wild and crazy bachelorette party and you don't know most the girls. If its a super low key thing then maybe it wouldn't be that weird.. If it were me I'd probably just not go.
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  • MrsTucker2011MrsTucker2011 member
    I wouldn't go, just because for me I didn't feel up for any real partying for a couple months afterwards. (TMI WARNING, I bled for 5 weeks postpartum.) It's such an adjustment with any new baby as far as your recovery, sleep/feeding schedules, etc.
    If I were you, I would tell her it's tentative based on how you are doing once the baby gets here. That way you can get our of it if you're not feeling up for partying.
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  • daciadanaedaciadanae member
    I doesn't sound like it would be a HUGE deal if you missed it. You aren't close enough that you talk everyday and said you've been out of touch lately. Plus, having 2 kids (one being a newborn) is definitely a legit excuse for not going. I'm sure the bride would understand. At my sister's bachelorette party, one of the the girls who came had her family waiting back at the hotel for her, and honestly, we'd rather have just not had her there. The whole night she was a Debbie Downer. It was like the whole time, instead of having fun, she was just trying to get through the night out of obligation and then back to her babies.
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  • lailoulailou member
    Go alone, you'll be leaving your children with their father. Might even love getting glammed up and some me time.
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  • junebugjamjunebugjam member
    I would skip it, but I'm not a partier and bachelorette parties are not my thing. I'd be thrilled to have a legitimate excuse for missing it. If you'll be at the wedding, I don't think missing the bachelorette makes you a bad friend.
    j & m
    married July 2012
    My Angel - Amelia Hope - 3/13/14, 22 weeks
    BFP #2 - 6/10/14     Hoping for our rainbow baby    due February 2015

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  • jmcgra06jmcgra06 member
    Thanks everyone! Flights and hotels are looking to be about $800 for flying the group for the weekend, so it looks like staying home is most likely the case for now.
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