Sad, scared and feeling helpless

worrywart22 · October 2014

Hi everyone,

Im new to this.. just joined about a month ago. I am 15 weeks pregnant tomorrow. All I have been doing is worrying and crying. I keep thinking something is wrong I have had 4 ultrasounds already. All done before 11 weeks. 3 were done at the ER on a little ultrasound so there was not much detail to it. The other one was done by a technition who measured everything and what not. These were done because I have had bleeding, and extreme cramping. Everytime the baby was fine. I can help but worry that I have caused harm to by baby because of all of the ultrasounds (I read this online).

another reason why im so upset is because I bought a doppler a few weeks ago and have probably used it 10 times already. I have also read online that it causes harm to the baby. All of this worry is driving me insane

I want to enjoy my pregnancy, not constantly be upset.

This baby means everything to me. I had an eating disorder for 10 years which caused me to lose my period for that whole time. I got my period back finally (after I turned my life around) and after 3 months, I became pregnant. So you can imagine how excited I was. Especially after being told i would probably not ve able to get pregnant because of all the damage I caused to my body.

Anyways, sorry for the novel! lol. Can anyone give me some advice? Or have a similar experience? Thank you to whoever read this. I really appreciate it.

Thanks ♥

jesswein9 · October 2014

Take a deep breath. You could have 100 ultrasounds and listen to your baby via Doppler everyday with no harm to your baby. Just take one day at a time.

jk3610 · October 2014

i would step away from dr google. a lot of the places where you read that u/s are unsafe are holistic sorts of sources. unless you prescribe that way of living, hey, to each their own. i like to take science from scientific sources, and i don't believe time-tested scientific methods have proven them to be unsafe.

CivilMommy · October 2014

Talk to your OB about all of this - the cramping, the u/s fears, the anxiety over all of it. Since you are recovering from your eating disorder it is possible that you have some unresolved issues that would benefit from therapy too.

FWIW - I used my home Doppler a lot, and had over a dozen ultrasounds (long ones with the MFM clinic) with each pregnancy, and my kids are totally normal and healthy.

Please talk to the professionals - they can explain how and why u/sis used safely in pregnancy as well as help you address your anxiety.

I hope things get less worrisome for you soon!

Blergbot · October 2014

With your level of anxiety, I would really be looking into counseling. This is not meant as an insult. I struggle with depression, and see a counselor myself. I'm also on depression meds. Crying every day is not normal! Please, the most important thing you can do right now is take care of yourself to insure that you have a healthy pregnancy.

specialsn0wflake · October 2014

Ultrasounds and doppler cause NO harm to your baby. If they did, do you think your dr would use them? Don't believe everything you read online, thats insane. Who you should trust is your dr, the person that has spent A LOT of time and money on his/her education.

Also, if your Dr doesn't know about your past ED issues, tell them. It may be information they need or can use to better your care.

It may not seem like it now, but your pregnancy will go so fast. Try to relax and enjoy the experience. Pregnancy has many sucky downsides without your adding all that stress to the mix.

abiatkinson · October 2014

I've already had I think 8 ultrasounds? Ultrasounds and dopplers are in no way dangerous to your baby.

That being said, if you do not have a VERY proactive doctor figuring out the bleeding issues then you look for a new one. Maybe blood clots?

meganbethg · October 2014

I feel your pain mama. I too am a worry wart. First things first. Stopppp with the webmd/googling that can make anyone go crazy. I try and tell myself daily that it's going to be okay I even wrote myself a note on my bathroom mirror in lipstick that says, "postive vibes only". Only you know if your anxiety is getting worse in which case I would totally bring this up to your doctor. I just started counseling again and ahhhhh it's a God send just having someone one hour a week listen to all of my irrational thoughts then break them down one by one is soo helpful.

Feel Free to PM if you have any questions or just want someone to relate with. (Not to sound like a creepy Internet stranger I just know how alone everything can make you feel sometimes!)

redneckmomma25 · October 2014

You cannot believe everything you read on the internet. It needs to come from a reliable source.

PP's have covered a lot of this. You need to relax. All the stress and anxiety is not good for you or the baby.

Talk to your doctor. Tell them your worries and concerns.

taahira · October 2014

You don't gain anything by worrying, we can't change the outcome for what's meant to be. Enjoy being pregnant.
Ultrasounds and dopplers are NOT unsafe, they are perfectly fine and will not cause harm to your baby.

tdmloverrn · October 2014

We all worry! I have found talking to people especially my ob about my fear and anxiety helps.. And don't read too much online! Bleeding and cramping is scary but it sounds like at this point everything is okay. Call your ob and see if they can schedule an appt to talk about your anxiety or provide a referral for someone you can talk to

miahbelle · October 2014

Go to a therapist and get off google. You aren't doing yourself any favors. Congrats on getting pregnant after an ED.

ally3242 · October 2014

Worry is a normal feeling when you're pregnant but I think you're worrying way too much. At this point, what is meant to be, is going to be and you just have to let go and live. I think PPs are dead on when they tell you to stay off of google, find a professional to talk to about all of these feelings your having and if you've had significant bleeding, your doctor needs to find out why. Some women just bleed during their pregnancies because of placental problems or blood clots....if your baby has sounded great on Doppler and looked good on ultrasound, take a deep breath.

KellyA724 · October 2014

I agree with others - please step away from Google! I googled obsessively during the first 8 weeks and realized that I was just making myself panic even more. I haven't googled a single symptom since and I've been much more relaxed.

I've had five ultrasounds, so please don't worry about that. A high-risk friend of mine had weekly ultrasounds and her baby is just fine.

jmhansen11 · October 2014

I've had about 8 Ultrasounds starting 6weeks until now, 15weeks. I was also just thinking about getting on craigslist to see if I could find a doppler someone was selling for cheap! If dopplers hurt your baby, they would tell you never to use them. Think about it, they tell you not to take ibuprofen...!

I agree with other posters, maybe check in to some counseling to help with the anxiety. I am super anxious myself and one thing that has helped me is reminding myself that TODAY I am someone's mom, so I need to take care of myself so I can be a good mom.

Also, if it helps you to feel better, find an elective ultrasound place in your town and go see baby in between doctor visits. It's a longer appt where to whole appt is just watching baby play around in there. I just went at 15 weeks and it was awesome. If they have elective ultrasound centers, again, it's not going to harm your baby. I got some of the same info I believe you did early on and it made me worry, but once I started thinking about it more and reading more, I realized that the it just wasn't likely to hurt the baby, and if it makes me feel better to go every 2-3 weeks to ease my anxiety, why not?

worrywart22 · October 2014

Wow. I am so thankful for this! You have all made me feel so much better. I realize now that I do need to talk to someone so i've made an appointment with my psychiatrist (thankfully I was still able to get an appointment after a year with no contact).

Im really trying to look past the worry and focus on staying healthy for my baby.

Thanks for all the reassurance and support ♥

Blergbot · October 2014

So glad to hear it!

mayfateleadyou · October 2014

This is my fourth pregnancy and have been extremely stressed the whole time. Speaking to a therapist has really helped me and is what I would suggest. I still have to push down feelings of bein afraid the baby isn't alive EVERYTIME I go in for an ultrasound.

shoeflypie · October 2014

Just breathe! -like pps have said. Right now you're pregnant and just pray, breathe, meditate and talk to your LO. Prayers!

kbehelr · October 2014

Worrying is part of being a parent, but you need to find a healthy balance. Bleeding is scary, but many of us who have bleeding go on to have perfectly healthy babies. From your post it sounds like you worry a lot. Try to find a healthy balance as the stress is not going to be good for you or the baby. Talking to a therapist is likely one of the best things you can do. Wishing you the best.

kinseykinz · October 2014

Welcome to motherhood.

Motherhood is all about learning to as Elsa would say 'Let it Go'

Worrying (while very hard not to do), is pointless. Only focus on the things you can change...everything else 'Let it Go'

But your worry won't end once the baby is born...heck, THAT's when it really begins. So think of the next what? 5ish months as your chance to learn how to worry less and trust everything will work out more.

nomesy · October 2014

I agree dr google is not anyone's friend

Count Choculitis · October 2014

Just a thought. I, too, had an eating disorder for years that caused me to lose my period. I found that a lot of the worry and obsession and compulsive thinking that I had during my eating disordered years actually transferred to my pregnancy. In other words, I found a new thing to obsess, worry, and agonize over. It sounds like you may have had a relapse in your thinking. Or was your eating disorder's underlying cause ever dealt with? Did you go to a psychologist or therapist and figure out what it is in your personality/psyche that causes you to bring feelings of doom into your life unneccessarily? Until you fix the root cause, everything in your life is going to be traumatic. Even after the baby is born. You'll turn everything into a major crisis. I'd go talk to someone if I were you.

WeLiveInMaine · October 2014

Eating disorders often involve obsessive thinking patterns. It sounds to me like you have fixed the behavior but some of the thinking pattern is still hanging around. Lucky you have the tools to deal with it having delt with it successfully already. I would suggest Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
Best of luck.

sagehens47 · October 2014

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