Is it just me or is this overly cautious?

wifeofadam · October 2014

The leader of our HS group just sent out an email talking about changes in policies. There is an updated sick policy which says that you should keep your child home if they have any clear drainage from their ears, eyes, nose, or mouth or if they have red eyes.

I sent an email back telling the leader that I have a son with horrific seasonal allergies and he spends about four months out the year with red, watery eyes and a runny nose (clear discharge). I teach a class in the co-op so if I have to keep DS home, I can't be there to teach. I reminded her that clear discharge is normal and not a sign of anything viral.

She responded and said that research is showing (heh - she often quotes Mercola) that clear discharge can be to first sign of something viral and that it is wise to stay home for any discharge, colored or not. They are going to probably send kids home that are showing these symptoms.

I basically wrote back and said that with four young kids, the odds that in any given day one of them doesn't have a runny nose or sniffle is pretty slim. I doubt I could make any co-ops or teach them. I also got kind of snarky and reminded her that clear discharge from the eyes is called tears and clear discharge from the mouth is called saliva and that both of those are normal and not a sign of anything viral.

Is it just me or is this a little insane? I've never had kids in a school or daycare, so I'm not sure what normal policies are like, but I'm doubtful that people are keeping their kids home for clear discharge.

kleigh926 · October 2014

I've never had kids in school or day care yet either, but yeah, that sounds over the top to me, especially for kids with allergies. So even if they know your son has those symptoms because of seasonal allergies, they would send him home? That's ridiculous.

wifeofadam · October 2014

kleigh926 said:

I've never had kids in school or day care yet either, but yeah, that sounds over the top to me, especially for kids with allergies. So even if they know your son has those symptoms because of seasonal allergies, they would send him home? That's ridiculous.

She said that if I know for sure it's just allergies, then she guesses it's OK that he comes. I asked her how I am supposed to know for sure any more than she knows for sure that her perfectly healthy kid isn't currently incubating some virus.

I have other kids who don't have allergies and they often get little sniffles and runny noses, especially throughout the winter. I can't guarantee they aren't viral, but a clear runny nose can last weeks.

I guess I always thought that clear discharge isn't a big deal. You only worry if it is discolored. Obviously fever, lethargy, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. with the clear discharge would give me pause and I would definitely keep my kids home. But if they are just tired with a runny nose I would shrug it off and send them to class.

djm31012 · October 2014

Ill be the first one to say I HATE when parents send their kids to daycare when they are clearly sick...but that policy is insane. So basically the school would be empty from October to March.....

laketide · October 2014

My kid would be sent home nearly every time she showed up with that policy....

mrr5058 · October 2014

This is definitely ridiculous. It makes me sad that there are some parents which such little common sense that they have to come up with these extreme policies. I've had kids in the ER with pneumonia and strep and the parents want a note saying the kid can return to daycare the next day!! Um...nope and I hope they don't go to the same daycare as my kid!

SummerLove21 · October 2014

Our toddler class rules are:

-No fever or vomiting for at least 24 hours

-No consistent cough for at least four days

And that's it. That policy is nuts. I'm all for keeping your kids home when they are sick, but a runny nose or red eyes can be caused by plenty of innocuous things. I would never have a cheer team if that was our policy.

Rynleigh · October 2014

*Out of the ordinary* clear discharge is a symptom of viral infection, yes... like, if a child is sneezing constantly and has mucous covering their face... or if they have an obviously red eye and have an excess of tearing from one or both eyes "out of no where", sure, maybe conjunctivitis.... but if you have a child who's always teary, or teary during seasonal periods, that's obviously non-contagious allergies.... a child who drools is an obnoxious symptom of teething or weak muscle control - still not contagious... We don't keep our children home from school for seasonal allergies or drooling. I don't send kids home from my care for a minor runny nose or itchy eyes. I send/keep kids home for fevers, lethargy, pain, sudden red eye or eye gunk, coughs, etc.

I'm maybe not the most hypersensitive health freak in the room, but I'm relatively aware and cautious, and it sounds excessive to me unless there are immunocompromised children in the co-op.

kelly321 · October 2014

Yeah, that's too much. I send my kids to daycare / preschool with runny noses because they're otherwise fine and seriously - if I had to keep my kids home any time they had a mild cold, I could just go ahead and quit my job. I also don't get upset if they catch a cold from DC because, well, that's what happens.

MommyAndHerLatte · October 2014

I'm usually overly cautious about keeping DS home if he's sick, but that policy is too restrictive. Our mommy and me class has a sick policy that states that clear discharge is okay if your child is otherwise healthy. This makes more sense to me because, uhm, allergies and teething aren't contagious. And you're totally right, clear discharge from the eyes and mouth are just tears and saliva.

tamarar5 · October 2014

That's crazy. With that policy, **I** couldn't go to the co-op probably 51 weeks a year! And prior to the tiny cold I had last week (but never actually turned into anything, thank God) I haven't been sick sick in months.

jesuisfatiguee · October 2014

That's ridiculous.

wifeofadam · October 2014

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not some bad mom who is willing to send her sick kids in public, ladies. This lady is standing by her assertion that we need to be worried about the clear drainage.

The same lady told me today that we need to be worried about Ebola. This same woman does not vaccinate for anything, which is fine and her right. But seriously. Ebola or whooping cough....let's put fear where fear should be. And the fear should definitely not be in a runny nose.

cinnasugar · October 2014

I call clear runny nose 'daycare nose'. If we kept the kids home from school for that, we'd be home all year long.

ally2011 · October 2014

I'm team "that's ridiculous"

ally2011 · October 2014

wifeofadam said:

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not some bad mom who is willing to send her sick kids in public, ladies. This lady is standing by her assertion that we need to be worried about the clear drainage.

The same lady told me today that we need to be worried about Ebola. This same woman does not vaccinate for anything, which is fine and her right. But seriously. Ebola or whooping cough....let's put fear where fear should be. And the fear should definitely not be in a runny nose.

My hat is off to you for not losing it. I think it is insane that she is worried about ebola and clear drainage but doesn't vaccinate. I honestly am not sure I could have conversation beyond that with her. I am irrationally annoyed and do not know her. Sigh, head shaking, all of it.

wifeofadam · October 2014

ally2011 said:

wifeofadam said:

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not some bad mom who is willing to send her sick kids in public, ladies. This lady is standing by her assertion that we need to be worried about the clear drainage.

The same lady told me today that we need to be worried about Ebola. This same woman does not vaccinate for anything, which is fine and her right. But seriously. Ebola or whooping cough....let's put fear where fear should be. And the fear should definitely not be in a runny nose.

My hat is off to you for not losing it. I think it is insane that she is worried about ebola and clear drainage but doesn't vaccinate. I honestly am not sure I could have conversation beyond that with her. I am irrationally annoyed and do not know her. Sigh, head shaking, all of it.

To be honest, this lady has been nothing but drama since the beginning of this co-op. I stepped down from the advisory board because of her and have been looking for a way out ever since. I committed to teaching this chess class for the year and want to stand by my commitment. I am actually hoping that this sick policy is my way out. I mean, there is no way we will make it to every co-op class if we follow her policy. I sent out an email to all of the parents in my classes the other day asking for a back-up teacher because due to the new sick policy, I fear there will be some absences throughout the year. No one has contacted me about doing it yet, but if they do........I think I have my out. After this month I'll talk to the mom and see if she can just take it over for me. I want to be done with this crazy lady.

And to be 100% honest, we don't fully vaccinate. We don't for rotavirus, chicken pox, or flu. We do for everything else. I'm sure there are people who don't want to be around my kids because of the vaccines they are missing. But when vaccines came up at one of the advisory board meetings and I realized that literally every family in this group is unvaccinated against everything, I got a little nervous. Even though my kids have been vaccinated for things like whooping cough and mumps, I'm not sure it's smart parenting to throw them into a group that hasn't been.

But like I said, I don't know how to get out of it. I feel like I have to stand by by my commitment

ally2011 · October 2014

wifeofadam said:

ally2011 said:

wifeofadam said:

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not some bad mom who is willing to send her sick kids in public, ladies. This lady is standing by her assertion that we need to be worried about the clear drainage.

The same lady told me today that we need to be worried about Ebola. This same woman does not vaccinate for anything, which is fine and her right. But seriously. Ebola or whooping cough....let's put fear where fear should be. And the fear should definitely not be in a runny nose.

My hat is off to you for not losing it. I think it is insane that she is worried about ebola and clear drainage but doesn't vaccinate. I honestly am not sure I could have conversation beyond that with her. I am irrationally annoyed and do not know her. Sigh, head shaking, all of it.

To be honest, this lady has been nothing but drama since the beginning of this co-op. I stepped down from the advisory board because of her and have been looking for a way out ever since. I committed to teaching this chess class for the year and want to stand by my commitment. I am actually hoping that this sick policy is my way out. I mean, there is no way we will make it to every co-op class if we follow her policy. I sent out an email to all of the parents in my classes the other day asking for a back-up teacher because due to the new sick policy, I fear there will be some absences throughout the year. No one has contacted me about doing it yet, but if they do........I think I have my out. After this month I'll talk to the mom and see if she can just take it over for me. I want to be done with this crazy lady.

And to be 100% honest, we don't fully vaccinate. We don't for rotavirus, chicken pox, or flu. We do for everything else. I'm sure there are people who don't want to be around my kids because of the vaccines they are missing. But when vaccines came up at one of the advisory board meetings and I realized that literally every family in this group is unvaccinated against everything, I got a little nervous. Even though my kids have been vaccinated for things like whooping cough and mumps, I'm not sure it's smart parenting to throw them into a group that hasn't been.

But like I said, I don't know how to get out of it. I feel like I have to stand by by my commitment

That all sounds awful. I am really sorry and hopefully you can get out of it. I would definitely not want my child around that many unvaccinated kids. I just can't even deal with that. Hugs mama, wishing lots of clear drainage your way (as your out, haha!)

kelly321 · November 2014

You know, in light of the fact that all of the other children are unvaccinated, it surpises me a little less that she's trying to make the super-strict sick policy. Of course, she could also just have her kids vaccinated (assuming there's no contraindication) and not have to worry about the really sick preventable diseases, but I'm guessing you don't want to suggest that solution to her

The issue of choosing not to vaccinate would also make me question whether I want these people instructing my children. I guess I would be constantly questioning how they are getting their information on other subjects, as well. I would also wonder whether there would be any pressure on my children - when it came time for their boosters, would they resist because of what they've heard in the group? Would it make them really scared of vaccinations? I don't know, an entire group of non-vaccinaters sounds like a bit of a clique to me, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were very critical of anyone who takes a different stance on certain issues.

ggatlanta · November 2014

I have heard of policies where if a child's nose must be wiped more than X times in 15 minutes (in this case, it was 4), they cannot attend daycare. I thought that was sensible.

But for the brief moment we attended a daycare, the rule was no fever, no diarrhea. Otherwise, green mucousy runny nose, productive cough, anything went. But to be fair, we left after 3 weeks because our daughter got so sick. So I think somewhere between those rules and your co-op's rules would be a fair middle ground. I personally like the idea no attendance with fever within the last 24h, any nose / eye discharge other than clear, any productive cough (coughing up any mucous even clear), or any vomiting or diarrhea. To me that's fair. Oh if I were queen of the world...

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