TTC after 35

Flying solo to the RE

My appt. is Wednesday AM and it looks like my first consult with the RE I'll be alone. DH's job is not at all flexible and we are hoping to save his time to be with me in the office for when he is really needed. Other than him being an extra set of ears do you think this is a disadvantage? He has already had 2 fairly recent SAs in that office. 

Re: Flying solo to the RE

  • I really wish I had better advice but I am still waiting for the first appointment with an RE. I have no idea what to expect with the first visit.

    I would definitley have a discussion with your husband ahead of time so together you can come up with a list of questions you may have.

    I'm sorry his work isn't flexible, that sucks :( sending positive thoughts your way!
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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  • I was just going to ask about this. I doubt that DH can attend my visit. 

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  • I went to my visit without DH.  It was no big deal.  He filled out the male partner portion of the paperwork ahead of time.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
  • No big deal, just call them and make sure it's ok. One office I did a consultation with required him to be there. I don't think it was necessary
  • Hate your having to go alone. It would be good to have him there for emotional support. I agree with PP, call the office ahead of time to make sure you can have appt without him and see if there is any paperwork he can fill out ahead of time. Good Luck with you appt. 
  • I think it should be fine but as others suggested, there's probably history paperwork for him to fill out and maybe some forms to sign. I'd just call and ask. Good luck!
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • My RE told me that it's good to have him at the first appt, but not necessary. It was more for emotional support. After the initial visit, I went alone for every blood draw/sono (except when I got a BFP, he came with me to the ultrasounds then). Good luck!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Me: 37 DH: 38 
    BFP #1 3/17/11 - DS born 12/4/11
    TFAS Dec 2013
    BFP #2 - 3/23/14 - CP 3/26/14
    BFP #3 - 8/20/14 - Natural Miscarriage 9/22/14
    BFP #4 - 1/28/15 - DS2 born 10/13/15
    Surprise BFP# 5 - 9/2/16 - Due 5/13/17

  • The only appointment my DH attended were the two at which he had to give samples and/or sign paperwork. He couldn't even make it to the FET. In the category of "this is all much harder on the woman," there's no way to do this process without TONS of  flexibility if you're a woman, whereas he basically had to clear two days. 

    But to answer your question, it was no disadvantage. In some ways for me it was an advantage because he is a doctor and tends to take over doctor's appointments we attend together with too much technical question and skepticism. It was a little bit nice to relax and just get to have a conversation about fertility with the doctor. 
    Me: 41, DH 38, Diagnosis DOR
    Started TTC 12/2013
    First Trip to RE: 11/2014
    IVF Round 1: 2/2014 - BFP
    DD Born 11/9/2014
    TTC a Sibling Started 5/2015
    First IVF Round 8/15 - BFN
    Taking a break to go on vacation + enjoy the holidays before FET and/or another IVF round in 2016!

  • Just wanted to wish you luck Wednesday!  (Also, DH has never been to any of mine, except to give a sample, and it's never been a problem.)
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



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  • I've put my husband on speaker phone for certain dr appts that he was unable to attend. I have gone alone to the RE more times than I've gone with MH. I'm fine with it, and yes, it is good to get your questions organized ahead of time in any case.

    IVF #1 ET 1 d3 embryo 10/30/11 BFP
    3 Embryos frozen (1 d5, 2 d6)

    DS born 07/29/12

    FET #1 ET 1 d5 embryo 02/10/15 BFN

    FET #2 1 d6 embryo didn't survive thaw, transferred last d6. CP :(

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  • I usually bring DH, but that's because I have a mild learning disability that makes it hard for me to digest everything I hear (it's like dyslexia for hearing). RE appointments tend to have a lot of technical information, and even though I take notes and ask for things to be repeated, I sometimes get overwhelmed. Having DH there makes a huge difference in what I get out of the appointment. But overall, I think it's a nice to have, not a need to have.
    Me: 38 DH: 40 TTC#1 (and likely only) since 9/13. Saw RE 5/14, SA good, AMH 2.36, FSH 7.2, estradiol 69.6 indicating good egg reserve. Using OPKs. First Letrozole cycle 6/14, a burst cyst and a BFN. Second Letrozole cycle 7/14, BFN. 

    Update 11/14 - had laparoscopy 10/28, good news is that my uterus and left tube look good, and they were able to drain the cyst on my left ovary. Bad news is that right tube and ovary have endo and scar tissue, so they're pretty useless.. Best news is that we finally have some answers and a path forward. Taking 7.5 mg letrozole CD 2-6 to put that good left ovary through its paces. 

    UPDATE 2/2015 - We switched to another fertility clinic, but fortunately we don't have to start all over. We're doing two cycles of Clomid plus IUI, if neither of those take, we'll do IVF in April, potentially with ICSI. (DH's SA has gone downhill, likely due to excessive exercise.) IUI#1 2/25/15....
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