Parenting Check In (10/27)

ball.and.chain · October 2014

Good Morning Everyone! Up way too early today...

How was your weekend? Any new successes, challenges or milestones to report?

QOTD: Let's talk about screen time. What's your philosophy about this? How much does your kid (or kids) realistically get? What's your plan as they get older?

Parenting Roster:

(Please let me know if you would like to be added)

@2brides – G & C born 5/18/06, other Mom is L

@Themommymonster – C (DS) born 2/18/09

@Mystjava – Little Bear (LB) born 3/31/10, other Mummum is Shawn

@winstan1 – J (DS) born 9/10 (currently 3.5 years old)

@Trisholio and @trisholiosboi – Proud foster parents to M born 2/6/12 and K born 8/22/13; baby Adalyn born 8/29/14

@jazibel – Kaden born 7/13/12 and Owen born 5/2/14, other parent (Aya) is EV

@newmompeanut – N (DD) born 2/12/13, other Momma is B

@CageyMack – W born 3/16/13

@JGY – Gabe born 3/24/13, other Mama is S.

@Stringy813 – M born May 2013

@Clairmeij – Alarico born 6/28/13, other mama is V

@Wallace323 – J and L born 8/8/13, surviving triplets born at 31 weeks

@Jrtmom – Henry born 8/15/13, other mama is L

@ATXmommas – Sebastian (“Ash”) born 11/21/13, other Momma is Z

@mwagner25 – Oliver born 11/27/13, other parent is L

@herbabymama‌ – C (DD) born 12/10/13, other Mama is K

@Sarahtrpt – C born February 2014

@AmandaG47 – Twin girls born 2/22/14, other Mommy is J

@Mamosey‌ & @Karlamo‌ – R born 2/25/14

@shameless370087‌ - Anthony and Sati, born 3/9/2014, Other mom is S

@Filmfanatic82 – Charley born 3/15/14

@2momsinCA‌ - B & O born 5/27/14

@KH826 – Will born 6/4/14

@redrockmama – M born 6/19/14, other Mama is J

@ball.and.chain – B born 6/28/14

@Flygirl1228 – Twins 7/25/14

@KLeigh1‌ - S born 7/25/14

@shelly2314 - Elise and Olivia, born 8/19/14, wife is M

@2MamazInSeattle‌ - S born 8/21/14

@rkbo‌ - Amelia born 9/22/14

ball.and.chain · October 2014

B will be 4m tomorrow!

We are doing great. I feel like we have sort of hit our stride with the daycare/work/parenting routine. I'm actually really enjoying being back at work, my commute is so much better than my pre-leave commute, and B seems to be loving the daycare ladies and they him (they call him "lindo" and kiss him good morning and good night, and he smiles as soon as he sees them).

He slept through the night a couple of times last week and generally just gets up once around 2 am; he chugs his bottle and is back to bed in half an hour or less. S and I alternate days we are on "baby duty" at night so neither one of us has to get up every night, and if one of us is extra tired or has a big day at work, that person sleeps in the guest room that night so she gets a full eight hours. Everyone at work keeps making jokes about how tired I probably am and frankly I feel quite well-rested! We are about to do sleep training to get B out of our bed and into his crib, which will upset this a bit, but hopefully it will also be effective and will lead to all of us getting better-quality sleep in the long run. For naps on the weekends I've been putting him down drowsy in our bed or on the couch and sitting by him while he falls asleep and that's been working well -- it used to be you couldn't put him down until he was out cold, so this is good progress. He's still on the couch or in the bed so I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone for longer than a minute or so, but I can usually get a few things done while he's out. Yesterday he took three naps and I was able to fold and put away two loads of laundry, unload and re-load the dishwasher, make dinner and breakfast for this morning, put away the NB clothes, and start working on his baby book. He also sat quietly playing in his bouncy seat while I showered and brushed my teeth and ate lunch, which is always a crapshoot, and cooperated for a walk to the drugstore in his carrier. He seems to be super happy pretty much all the time when he's not asleep, hungry or eating, and has started babbling to himself while he's playing. 3-4m is a really fun age!

On Friday my office let everyone go an hour early and I decided to use my hour to go to the gym before I picked B up. This is the first time I've been to the gym since probably 2nd trimester and I was really proud of myself for making that choice and sticking to it. Well, I showed up at daycare and they were having a graduation party I'd forgotten about, so all the parents and kids were there and I met most of them for the first time sweaty and in gym clothes. It was a little embarrassing. On the upside, it was nice to meet more of them and everyone seemed really nice and raved about how much they and their kids loved the daycare. Plus there was a full buffet dinner served (homemade by the daycare owner's adult son), so I didn't have to eat a frozen burrito for dinner.

QOTD: So obviously I asked this for a reason. S and I both enjoy TV, but she watches a lot more of it than I do; she generally has it on most of the time when she's home whereas I will only turn it on to watch specific shows. This means that, of course, the TV is on when B is around. This didn't bother me when he was tiny and didn't notice it, but now he "watches" it -- stares at it, slack-jawed, and sometimes it's hard to get his attention when he's looking at it. There were a few times when he was watching and something inappropriate was on -- the Today show reporting on beheadings, or some guy humping some other guy's face on "Below Deck" -- so S has started putting PBS on instead. He has watched "Peg + Cat" (adorable!), "The Cat in the Hat", and "Sesame Street," which S says he loves.

I've told S several times that I feel guilty about B watching TV at this age. I knew the whole "no screen time until 2" thing was probably not going to be realistic in our house, but I certainly didn't imagine him watching TV at 4m. It's not like he's parked in front of the TV for a long time, and S is basically using it to distract him so she can do a load of dishes or make dinner; her justification is that those things need to get done and if 10 minutes of a PBS show lets her do them, so be it. I don't know. Everything I've read about screen time before 2 is negative, and I guess I'm just curious about what other kids' experiences are and whether I am making a bigger deal of this than I need to.

2brides · October 2014

Boys are 8.5y

Things are rolling right along. The sports season is almost over - it can't come soon enough....I love that the boys play, but it takes over our entire Sundays afternoons and it is starting get cold sitting outside for 3 hrs.

QOTD: We started letting the kids watch "Signing Times" videos when they were about 18m-2y. It was great from a sign language perspective and they eventually learned 70-80 signs (which helped with their communication/behavior tremendously!) They watched Nick Jr/Disney shows when they were in PK/early elementary - typically 1 show in the AM while I got ready and then 1 show in the PM before bed. They got Leapfrogs when they were about 4 or so and then got iPods when they were 5y (we got tired of paying $30/game x2 - $.99 apps are much better and harder to lose!) and then they saved their money for a long time and bought Nintendo DS when they were 6.5y.

Now - They rarely watch tv. They stopped tv viewing in the AM in exchange for 20m of iPod time. And we really don't have time to watch tv before they go to bed (it is a mad dash to get homework, dinner, showers, and reading down between 6p-8p!) Every once in awhile they will watch a movie on the weekend. We recently slashed their iPod time/DS time. They used to play it in the AM before getting ready for school and then once they got home after homework was done. But we found that getting everyone ready in the AM was so much better when they didn't have access to electronics in the AM. And in the PM they were rushing through homework/reading in the evening to play, so we pulled the plug.

Now, they go away Sunday night and emerge on Friday night. And during the weekend, they can play, but it is mostly in the car to/from activities and in the AM if they wake up before we do. There are some exceptions - L has to take them to a 2 hr meeting at school Wednesday because I have plans and she will let them play electronics after homework is done and they read.

Now, our situation is deciding what we LET them see/play vs how much!

JGY · October 2014

Gabe is 19 months (I just looked at the calendar and realized this, yesterday when asked I said 18 - oops!)

I feel badly that I missed a lot last week. This were just crazy nuts at work, and I'm rarely able to check in while at home. I work in healthcare administration, so you can imagine the current level of ridiculous panic that Ebola preparedness has spawned. Ugh.

We've had a really good couple of weeks. I know the last time I checked in I was a mess, and was very concerned about Gabe's development. Pretty much all of that has been resolved. The weekend before this last one, my in-laws came to visit. Not only was it great to have them here, and we had a fantastic time together apple picking and generally hanging out, but it also allowed me to step back and really watch Gabe interacting with other people. Eye contact, check! Listening, yes! Mimicking facial expressions, you betcha! It was such a restorative visit, and I feel immense relief.

Don't get me wrong, he's still a huge challenge with energy and opinions for days. But at least I feel like I can gather more skills and learn how to be a better parent without the major concern of a larger issue.

This weekend was all about enjoying the beautiful weather. On Saturday morning we raked leaves and G had a great time helping. I am overjoyed that we are finally at the stage where he can be involved instead of having to figure out time to get these things done without him. We also went to the playground and watched football. On Saturday evening we went to the Volleyball game at the U and G did pretty well. The team helped out by winning rather quickly, so the timing ended up being pretty perfect.

Sunday S had to work in the morning, so G and I walked the dog and then spent some good time in the yard. When S got back, I went to the store and then made all our dinners for the week (this is week 3 of this plan and it's going really well!!!). Then we hung out, watched some football, played, went to bed and here we are again.

QOTD: @ball.and.chain you know I appreciate this question.

Fact: the TV is on at our house way more than I think it should be.

Fact: I am the one that turns it on most of the time.

S and I both like to have the TV on. For the most part, when G is awake, it's on a sports channel or news. And while G will watch sports for a little while, he pretty much ignores everything else. But I realize that we are getting to a point where we need to be more careful and S and I really need to have a conversation about it. Last night I peeked in the living room while I was cooking, and she had the Simpsons on. Exactly the kind of stuff I don't want to have him exposed to right now. But I can hardly judge ...

From what I understand, one of the major concerns about screen time before age 2, is the speed with which the images change. This is especially bad in cartoons (SpongeBob is apparently the worst). My poor memory is telling me that this can affect the attention span in children, along with a few other things.

So in the way that I rationalize everything to make myself feel better, I guess I kind let myself think that things that move in the speed of daily live and activity are okay. Not in that I would let my kid sit in front of the tv all day, but just when we have it on in the background.

I do admit though, I have now purposefully put on Sesame Street a few times when I needed a break/distraction in order to get a few things done. Reassuringly, G only maintains an interest in it for about 5 minutes. Then he's off running again.

mwagner25 · October 2014

Oliver is 11 months today

@sarahtrpt we did a modified CIO which sounds similar to what you are doing. For us, Oliver was waking every 1.5-2 hours all night long and nursing everytime he woke to get back to sleep. So we focused on putting him down awake (not letting him fall asleep at the breast) and did CIO for bedtime or when he woke during the night. One thing the sleep specialist told us to be consistent on was not feeding during the night during sleep training. She said that one of the reasons he was continuing to wake and cry during the night was because he was trying to figure out when he was going to get fed or not. Once he realized that in the middle on the night all he got was a pacifier, some comfort, and no boob the night crying out stopped. We still have some nights that he cries out and I go give him his paci, but usually these are only when teething, cold, ect. I think with any sleep training, you have to be comfortable with the method you chose and ready to be consistent. Good luck!

Things are going well for us. We are working on getting his one year molars in, so teething yet again.

I think teething is just the worst! He is also starting to turn into a little toddler. He had a screaming tantrum this morning when the dog ate his banana. He wouldn't even take a new banana, he would look at the dogs and scream, then look at the banana peel and scream, then look at L and cry. Poor guy. Lol.... But it's actually kinda funny at times, I will take toddler tantrums over newborn crying any day. We leave for our family vacation in Florida on Friday! I am super excited and can't wait for some stress free beach time.

QOTW: We sometimes have the TV on in the background when Oliver is up but don't put it on specifically for him to watch. In a pinch, when he is throwing a tantrum during a poopy diaper change or in the car we will pull up an iPhone app to distract him but that's the only purposeful screen time we do right now.

KH826 · October 2014

Will is 20 weeks, he will turn 5 months a week from tomorrow! So crazy!

We had a great weekend. On Saturday, we went to the zoo with my MIL. I am officially in love with the Philadelphia Zoo! I think it is my new happy place! The weather was gorgeous, and I think Will really enjoyed all the fresh air. He had two feedings and a 30 min nap outside in addition to lots of fun wakeful time checking out animals and walking around. I can't wait to go back to the zoo when he gets older. There are tons of fun activities (carousel, swan boat rides, choochoo train rides, etc.) that he will hopefully love when he is a bit older and more aware. Right now he thinks everything is funny, which is awesome. We walked around talking to him about different animals and pointing them out, and he just smiled and laughed. It was seriously fantastic. We got him a giraffe hat and a book about foxes from the gift shop. I wanted to buy one of everything! HAHA - We will definitely be going back to the zoo. We are thinking about getting a membership for 2015!

Yesterday was our usual Sunday routine -- lunch at Panera, grocery store, some household chores, and a long nap in the glider (he sleeps on me, and I just sit there and enjoy my cuddle time with him and usually browse on my iPad).

Life feels really good right now... Still sleeping through the night. Growing like a weed (mostly 6 month clothes, but a few 9 month jammies). Lots of belly laughs. Bath time is a hoot, and now he is sad when it is over and we take him out of the tub! His personality seems to have just totally exploded in the last month or so -- it is amazing! On week days, my favorite part of the day is when I get home from work. He is usually with my wife in the playroom (which is in the back of the house), and they can hear me come in before I can see them.... usually my wife says "Do you hear Momma?!?!" and then I poke my head into the playroom and say "Hiiii William!" With a big smile on my face, and he smiles back and giggles! AHHH love it!!!!

QOTW: Our TV intake has definitely decreased since we had Will. We are pretty big TV lovers, in general. We made the decision to not put a TV in the playroom, and we got rid of the TV in our bedroom, so now the only TV in the house is in our family room. We don't watch any TV during the day, and most of the hanging out when we are home occurs in the playroom. We usually turn the TV on around 7ish every night and then turn it off before we go up to bed between 9 and 9:30pm. During that time, at least an hour of it Will is napping on me (He usually sleeps from 7:30-8:30 or 8-9, then we wake him to feed him one last time before putting him down for the night. So we are watching about 2-2.5 hrs of TV a day, but Will is sleeping through at least an hour of it, sometimes all of it. As he becomes more active, and once we eventually adjust his bedtime to earlier, that may cut out his TV viewing at night all together. I don't think an hour of being awake in the same room as the TV when it is on is going to have any negative impact on our little guy, and that TV time at night is time for my wife and I to both relax and unwind together and watch a few things that we both enjoy together. Right now we don't plan on putting Will in front of the TV for any reason during the day. If TV is a special night time activity for an hour or so, I think it is fine. I know some folks disagree, and I respect that. I will admit that I do plan on watching some Christmas shows with Will this year, and I am excited to introduce him to Frosty and Rudolf and some of my favorites!

ATXmommas · October 2014

Ash is 11 months old.

We officially have a walker! During my last update I reported that he was taking about 3-5 steps at a time. Out of nowhere, he busted out about 20 steps when I picked him up from daycare on Wednesday. I just stood watching him with my mouth hanging open. I picked him up on Thursday as well and was ready with the video. He still crawls sometimes, but he is getting so much more sure of himself. So fun to watch.

It's so interesting to see the differing activity levels of children the same age. We met our friends whose little girl is 2 days older than Ash at the pumpkin patch yesterday and tried to get pics of the babies together. We set them in a cluster of pumpkins and our friend's baby just stood there sweetly while our kid scaled every pumpkin in his sight. Coocoo.

Milk update - we started sending bottles with 2oz BM + 2oz soy milk. I was going to send a 70/30 ratio, but thought that if I was taking away the caloric punch of 1oz of BM I should replace it with more than 1oz of soy. We're going to stick with this ratio as long as I can maintain it. Cutting out a pumping session has taken my supply a notch and it's getting harder to even get the 6oz for his three bottles - frozen milk might all be gone by the end of this week. I know I'm producing less because he needs less, but still messes with my head. I will say, though, that only pumping 2 times per day has felt AMAZING!

Bad news: I think we all have strep. I started feeling terrible Friday afternoon and spent a lot of the weekend in bed, though I did suck it up and go to the pumpkin patch because it was our last chance to go. I went to the doctor today and tested + for strep. My dr told me that strep can present as red dots on infants, which Ash has. I took him to the pediatrician last Friday and they just said it looked viral and didn't prescribe anything. I left a message for a nurse at the pediatrician's office to call me to see if they want to screen him. It would also explain the really poor sleep he had on Saturday.

QOTW: Currently, we rarely have the tv on when he is awake. Z has, on occasion, tried to get him engaged in a tv program when he's been upset or clingy, but he's not been interested. Not my preference, but I totally get using tv in small increments to help get through the day. That said, I don't know when we'll start letting him watch 30 minute programs. My preference would be to wait until he's two, but realistically it might be sooner. I think as with most parenting decisions, the literature varies. Several months ago, there was an article that made it sound like screen time before 2 would ruin a kid's life (I exaggerate), but it was shortly followed up by a, "Well, a little in moderation is ok." The links are somewhere in an old TTT thread.
I will say that he is mesmerized by the phone. We try to keep him away from it, but when he gets ahold of it, he gets this evil looking grin as he looks at the glowing screen. I agree with PP that knowing how to use technology at an early age isn't just inevitable, but useful. Anyways, I think it's best in moderation, but I don't think that some screen time before 2 is damaging.

ATXmommas · October 2014

This is the link I was thinking about: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4957527?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

KH826 · October 2014

Also, @JGY - I wish I could have hit "love it" for your update several more times! I have been thinking about you guys the last couple of weeks, and I am SOOO glad that things seem to be much improved!

redrockmama · October 2014

M is 4 months and 1 week old.

He is laughing more, but he holds out laughing, which I think is cute and funny. It's like he wants to laugh, but makes you work for it. He does the cutest thing when he laughs or smiles. He lifts nuzzles his head into his shoulders (to one side), lifts up his hands and kind of looks away.It's how an older kid who is shy might act. Cracks me up everytime.

He is doing better sitting up and mostly loves to stand up still. J was walking him around the house last night and he loved it and even started picking up his feet to take steps.

He met a baby his age this weekend at a local LGBT parenting group event. She was born a couple weeks before him, but is tiny also. He LOVED her. He grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go and smiled and laughed. I can't wait for him to have more baby friends.

Sleep is still a work in progress. I started on Friday night trying to lay him in his crib after nursing him to sleep. He did okay at first and slept on it for a couple hours Fri and Saturday night but last night he woke up every single time I tried. After his first wake ups on Fri and Sat he wouldn't go back on the crib after nursing back to sleep. I'm exhausted every day, but am just reminding myself that this shall (hopefully) pass and this is just what he needs right now. Last night he didn't have to nurse all night long, but needed to sleep right next to me, like sardines, silly baby.

QOTW: We have talked about no screen time until 2. We don't have cable and only have a tv in our room where we watch movies and netflix. The tv is on sometimes while I nurse him to sleep or am holding him while he naps. I set him on the bed yesterday while I got dressed and football was on and he stared at the tv for a minute. I don't know what we'll end up doing as he gets older, but I think he may watch a pbs show or two when he is preschool aged. We don't watch a lot of tv, typically so I don't think it will be a big battle. I imagine screen time will be a whole new issue when he starts going to school and other kids have video games and other handheld screen devices. I totally get using it to get stuff done though and since we aren't really there yet who knows what will happen really.

Jazibel · October 2014

Owen is 5 1/2 months and Kaden is 2 years old (27 months)

Kaden is watching Buzzbee right now. I am laying down because I am sooooo tired. I went to sleep at 1am (I was working on the decorations for EV's work halloween party and trying desperately to pump to restock all of the milk that Owen drank yesterday which was my whole freezer stash.

Unfortunately I only pumped 4 oz though I tried 2x in an hour. Then I was up at 2:30am with Kaden and 4:06am with Owen and up for the morning at 6:15... I wish I had taken a nap.

Owen is doing a great job sleeping. We also did some sleep training recently. Not really CIO because so far with Owen it hasn't been necessary. With Kaden we did end up doing a modified CIO when nothing else was working (and we weren't sleeping). I guess each kid is different. Owen sleeps from about 8pm to 4:30am and then he's up to nurse and back down until 6ish. He's STTN a couple of times but it's always a surprise. When he gets up I try to nurse and put him down in his crib again but sometimes I bring him into our bed.

Kaden has been getting up 1x a night since mid-September. First it was the transition of moving, then he was sick and getting up several times. I was lenient and gave him snacks in the middle of the night. Rookie mistake. So now he gets up claiming to be hungry. I've stopped that though and put him back to bed. He's been waking less often over the last week.

Owen is really into floor time. He can roll over, scoot and semi-crawl pretty far. It started off as going backward but now he goes in circles and forward as well. He raises up on his hands and toes in a "plank" style. And has even gotten up onto his knees a few times.

Kaden is deepening his awareness and participation with the world around him. For instance the other night EV was putting him to bed and he kept repeating to her "Mama's busy" "Mama's busy". I'm Mama, and I guess the things I think he won't notice or mind have a greater impact than I expected. I've been working at home on our catering business, and I've been super busy. I try to keep an even-keel when it comes to my stress level, but I guess the fact that I'm distracted and trying to keep the kiddos playing so I can have 5 minutes to respond to an email has not gone un-noticed. I did have a flash of guilt, but also a moment of gratitude that Kaden has parents that adore him and that he can express his simply worded concerns about me to his other loving parent.

This weekend we went to a friends wedding and then I worked yesterday leaving EV with the kids. I think I was gone only a few hours when she was desperately texting me. It was one of those no nap days and the boys wore her out.

QOTD: So media.... I grew up with very limited media, and so did EV for the most part. We've rarely owned cable tv when living together. Whenever we get it we love it for a minute and then hate all of the commercials. We mostly watch Netflix and supplement with Hulu, Amazon, etc. We both felt pretty strongly that Kaden shouldn't be exposed to too much tv or screen media, and when he was an infant we had our monitor packed away and solely watched our shows on the laptop (when and if we watched shows). We brought the monitor out to host a movie night at our house last New Years an never put it away. It' s definitely harder to "hide" tv with the big screen around. Maybe 1x a week I'd put a short video or show on for Kaden over the last year. As he got closer to age 2 though and I needed time, cleaning, homework, packing I used it more and more. Right now I feel like I'm in a TV rut. Over the last two months his tv viewing has increased exponentially. He probably watches tv 5 out of 7 days. Usually only 20-40 minutes (1-2 shows) but sometimes more, especially when "Mama was busy" with her new job last week.

I think it's just something we need to work on and sometime I need to wean myself off of (as a crutch for him). EV and I watch our shows in the evenings a few days a week. I love unwinding with a couple of good shows. :-) Luckily the tv is in the living room not the playroom, so it's either toys or tv not both. For background noise I have music on almost 24/7.

Other media he doesn't have much connection with. He's familiar with our phones, but we don't have an iPad yet or games for him to play. The dvd player in the mini van has been a life-saver on road trips. We try to save media so that it works when we need it, and use it as a special treat. Right now I'm using it until I can brew a cup of black tea and hopefully wake up a little.

Jazibel · October 2014

Our favorite shows are Buzzbee, Daniel Tiger (great toddler lessons on dealing with big emotion), Jake and the Neverland pirates.

@JGY - I'm glad to hear that Gabe is keeping you on your toes in the best of ways only :-)

KH826 · October 2014

One of these days I am going to start a list of "Amazing quotes from @Winstan1" ... today's favorites: 1) The iPad is worse than Heroine; 2) It is the zombie apocalypse, and I am the zombie

Also, I want to see J in this princess dress! Bring us the cuteness! Maybe for PIP Thursday?!?!

2MamazInSeattle · October 2014

HI! I have missed checking in the past 3 weeks and I feel horrible about it. I usually get to it so late, and then see "31 updates" and know there is no way I can do personal replies, then I feel selfish to just post my stuff and run...and then I don't post.

I'm especially sad since I was using this as S's baby book updates (slightly modified) and now I've missed weeks - and as you all know - lots happens this early week over week!

That said, I just finished feeding, it's 4:38 a.m. and she's asleep on my lap so I will do it now!

@ball.and.chain - So proud of you for going to the gym!! Little B is doing great, and I am *so freaking excited* to meet him. Oh, and you.

@sarahtrpt Thanks for starting the sleep training discussion! It is on our radar...esp. lately as S sleeps great...during the day. I let her because I can get stuff done! However busy/fussy time is now extending to 11 p.m. - then usually only 1 wake up between 11 - 9 a.m. But once I go back to work, this schedule will not be ok. Thanks to all who offered input to - super helpful to read.

@JGY - So glad things look ok/'normal' for Gabe. Your autism scare worried me. You are a kick*azz mom and you can and will handle anything well! However, similar to S's potential for trisomy X, while I could handle it - I did not want that for her! (or, me if I'm honest). Glad your little man is ok! Quadruple phew!

@KH826 - Ohhhh I love the zoo and particularly our zoo as it is a mere 8 block flat walk from our house. I was just laying in bed the other day thinking I should get a membership soon as our zoo is expansive with loads of long walking paths - so for now, more exercise for me with S, and a fun view of creatures along the way. This was great until I read this in regard to the mistreatment of the elephants there. Now I'm conflicted...but my selfishness may win...

@jrtmom Got your email and let's definitely do lunch soon! I can come down the hill and meet you

. I' so glad you are feeling better, sounds horrible!

@ATXmommas - How is Ash a year almost!?! And walking!? He's so adorable, and I'm so excited for you to start TTC for his sibling. I'll admit, I"m kinda hoping for a girl

- he'll be such a good brother! One question I have for you is around the soy milk - do you have any concerns about the estrogen? That was why I planned to do something different (I likely won't do dairy milk, we don't drink it, though we do eat dairy). Just wondered if you'd done any research.

@redrockmama - I love seeing S with other babies now - I can imagine it only gets better as they get older! Cute!

@FlyGirl1228 - Good luck going back to work! I'm sure it will be quite an adjustment, but you'll do great. I enjoy your updates a lot!

---
Simone is 9 weeks, 5 days old!

She is doing great! we had our 8 week appointment and she got her shots - while it was hard to see her in pain for those few minutes, I feel so much better taking her out and about in the world now. There are a huge lot of anti-vac'ers in the PNW, which breaks down the herd. Newborns have recently gotten measles (it's airborn, and the anti-vac family went to the pedi and the newborn was sitting next to the infected kid). Whooping cough had a huge outbreak here a couple years and a bunch of babies died... I just feel better. Plus, one of our new gay dad friends is a pediatric neurologist at Children's and runs the entire autism center...and he is 100% pro vac which helped with some of my (scientifically unfounded) fears/worries.

S weighed in at 11 lbs, 1 oz. She is wearing some 0-3, and lots of 3-6 month clothes. She is LONG - 90th percentile in length, also 90th in head circumference but only 42nd in weight. Still, our pedi wasn't at all worried and describe her as "a pumpkin on a stick" - big head, long, skinny body. Last I checked, tall, skinny and smart wins in our culture...so I guess I'll just take it as a good thing!

I'm doing ok too. I have a lot of aches and pains (WAY more than in pregnancy, oddly enough) - my hands/"mom's thumb" got so bad I went to my hand doctor yesterday and got some shots. I couldn't lift S up the other morning and had to readjust...so it was time for some action. My shoulder is messed up from being squashed from her in-bed cosleeper, but we are both way to paranoid to have her in bed without a barrier. I procured a bassinet from CL and we are working in getting her out of the bed (esp. since we aren't cuddling once she's in the co-sleeper... so she'd be basically moving from one side of me to the other, in her vessel). I had originally planned to put her in her rock and play to sleep, but my aforementioned doctor friend said only laying flat is ok for nighttime/long sleeps (SIDS)...and J's friend having lost her son to SIDS when I was 9 months pregnant (baby was 4 months) has made her uber scared of it, so we take every precaution. Scary when those things hit so close to home.

In the milk department, I continue to make 10 oz or so a day

despite all kinds of acts to make it more and better. So I recently learned that it didn't help to pump/feed more often. Now I feed her on demand and we continue to supplement. Because my supply is low and my boobs are big(ish), I also go long stretches without feeding with no engorgement or pain - and the milk supply is the same at the end of the day! So now I nurse 4-5x/day, 2-3 oz per session (more in the morning, dwindles throughout the day). I haven't pumped in weeks. Sadly, my supply is so low I got AF back at 8 weeks!!! NO FAIR! I thought that was my prize for breastfeeding?? Still, I love having her at the breast, she seems to get a lot of comfort out of it, and truly, I do not know what I would do without my boob in our soothing arsenal. Many, many times she is upset and refuses the bottle but takes the boob with glee...and settles/goes back to sleep. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon for that reason alone.

Her gas/constipation has been way better too! We add prune juice (1 tablespoon) to her bottles. And we continue to use the unicorn milk formula which is basically pre-digested according to my pediatrician. She, however, suggested that S's issues could have been from an immature gut and to try mixing in regular grade formula to see if she reacts. Granted, the unicorn milk is pricey, but if it keeps her comfy we are 100% ok to stay with it. We are consistently getting 1 - 2 poops a day now, and very few "gas attacks" even with no gas drops!

And...I love her so much. I tear up sometimes just looking at her/playing with her. She is so beautiful and I tell her that about 200 times a day. I promise to compliment on more substantial things later, but for now, her cute factor wins. Her personality is coming out more and more. I vote introvert and a wee bit intense/serious. She is not a ham or a goofball, though she has things she LOVES (like the mobile my sister mad her) that make her super similey and kicky/punching with happiness. It's super cute! Her eyelashes are so long and her eyes are getting bigger and more defined. We're still waiting to see what color they will be (brown/green or hazel). I feel like she is working hard to develop - but of course that is just my vibe - and that overall she's pretty content. She's never been much of a crier or super fussy for which we are super grateful. She only wakes once now during the night, for which we are also grateful! She loves white noise, her swing/mirrors, her mobile her Aunt J made. She hates diaper/clothing changes, socks, ice cold formula (we do not heat bottles ever, but she definitely prefers room temp) and getting too hot.

Also she and J are super bonded and it's so sweet to see my two loves together. J just hangs out with her, holds her and plays with her a lot. We started doing an evening dance party where we dance her around to music and she cries if we stop before she's done - this is all J and it's been so much fun! S's male donor is very musically talented so maybe some early exposure will help? Either way it's fun for all of us.

Phew. That was long and thanks for staying with me! I will do better keeping up, as I really promised myself I wouldn't disappear once I had a baby since I've been really sad to see people go who I loved having here.

QOTW: Good one, B&C. Nice to read all the replies and perspectives. Honestly this one is so hard because in no way are J and I good models here. We record probably 10 hours of TV a week and watch it when S is around. I never had cable as an adult until J moved in - she loves TV and also in her job, it's important to be current on the social minutia of it (coffeeshop talk!). S still sleeps a lot so I'm not worried yet...but the other night we were watching The Walking Dead and J had her facing the screen and I made her turn S around! That show is so gross and violent at times (though I'm addicted). And, last night during dance party instead of looking at us, she kept looking at the TV which had a splashscreen up of a field of sunflowers...which it was just a photo essentially, I had to turn it off to keep her engaged with us!

As for other screens, she's still so young - but we do put on the front facing camera so she can look at herself. She loves mirrors (we tease her about "playing with her friend baby-in-the-mirror" when she's in her swing) - so we see this as another type of mirror.

J's ex has two kids, 3 and 7, and she has a whole reward system of which the pinnacle is screen time. They get stickers for achievements (chores, school, behavior, etc.). For 3 stickers, the get a special snack; 4 they get a treat (more desserty) and then 5 they get screen time (20 min). I'm sure the calculation is based on her kids' behaviors and what she is trying to motivate; but the concept is great imho! They see screen time as a reward/treat, not part of daily life and it is a privilege not an entitlement. Love this. They still have family movie nights and stuff, but when I they were over and I asked if they wanted Popsicles, she stopped me and said she'd rather not since they were going home to add up the day/week and see how they did, etc. Granted these kids are older, but they were way into it and super proud of themselves for their achievements.

I do worry about us pacifying with screens as S gets older...but like many have said, I too grew up constantly watching TV and I don't think it damaged me or my sisters. Still, of course I want better for S than I had - and so we'll see how it goes.

p.s. That took exactly 1 hour. And S slept through the whole thing!

YBnormal85 · October 2014

Lennon just turned 6 months on the 21st (born April 21st).

She's getting bigger by the day,I can barely get her to fit in any of her 12month clothing now. Nearly 20lbs and 28in long! We are just starting to introduce solids to her,she has been EBF until now. We are trying BLW and so far she has been doing well with it. She's sitting up unassisted and we are working on learning back carries with our wraps.

No screen time for Lennon yet, although she tried to watch anything Linda or I have on lol

2MamazInSeattle · October 2014

@YBnormal85‌ - awesome to hear from you!!! Glad Lennon us doing well. My baby was born on lucky #21 too, in August!

ATXmommas · October 2014

I don't always have time to respond to everyone, but like to when I can.

@ball.and.chain - glad you are getting into the swing of things and finding time to get to the gym! And that you are getting good rest!

@sarahtrpt - sorry you are struggling with sleep right now. I don't have any good advice, but hope @mwagner's experiences can help you out.

@stringy813 - sounds like a fun (and adorable) weekend! Im looking forward to the full on talking stage too! It will be a hoot for sure!

@2brides - I'm going to look into Signing Times. I was just talking to my friend yesterday about sign language. I totally thought I would be into baby sign language, but I haven't put any effort into it at all. Was wondering if it's worth the effort at this point. Were your boys exposed to it before 18 months? Ash is a little in day care, but I'm not sure how regularly or consistently. And yay for sports season being almost over!

@JGY - great news that your concerns about G are assuaged! I totally understand. Ash isn't even a year and there are things he does that make me wonder. Like hit himself in the head repeatedly and giggle. It sounds kinda funny, but it actually really bothers me when he does it. He's so young and I know I need to chalk it up to normal toddler behavior, but I think it's natural for us parents to worry. My goal is to be aware, without overreacting. Wish me luck!

@mwagner25 - I thought we were teething molars a couple weeks ago, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not looking forward to it.

Hope you have a blast in Florida!!!

@kleigh1 - glad S is such a happy baby! From what I know about sleep, waking up once a night isn't really a regression at 3 months even if she was previously STTN. It's very normal for babies her age to wake one or more times per night. Hopefully she will get back to her STTN routine soon.

@kh826 - glad you had such s great family weekend! Seeing Ash after work is the highlight of my day!

@jrtmom - glad the illness has passed. It is so hard to have sick parents, a sick kid, or both. And, ohmigosh, I hope Ash learns to scrub the floors at day care and think it's fun! Ha!

The image of that is so cute!

@redrockmama - baby friends are the best! And, yes, it will pass. Maybe just keeping trying the crib every few days. Ash was in bed with us until 7 months, then like magic, it worked.

@flygirl1228 - I'll be thinking about you and Ally as you transition back to work. You will get into a groove in no time. And, I love thinking about how much fun your kiddos will have playing on the farm one day! That will be an amazing experience.

@carls10 - the reflux sounds tough.

I know many of us parents on this board have had to change one or more of our plans once our baby arrived and we realized what he or she needed and what worked best for our family. If you do decide to introduce formula, I hope it goes well. And definitely a bonus that you get it free!

@jazibel - You sound very busy these days! Try not to feel guilty. We can't be expected to have our attention completely devoted on our kiddos. My friend went to a parenting conference recently - the presenters were mostly psychologists - and they said to strive for being fully engaged (no distractions) with your children at least 30% of the time. Takes the pressure off of feeling like I have to be "on" all the time. I'm glad you are doing something you enjoy and consider an investment for the future. K & O are two very lucky boys to have such amazing parents!

@winstan1 - I appreciate your perspective on the iPad usage. My mom bought my nephews an iPad at a young age and Z asks if we should put one on his Xmas list. She's mostly joking, but a little bit of her isn't. It isn't even in my radar right now to start letting him use one. But, we do have the benefit of tag-teaming most of the time. I can definitely see us using it as a crunch during those times that one of us is alone with him and some time with the ipad can offer some relief. My brother and SIL usually take away screen time as a punishment, but I like the idea that @2MamazinSeattle described below of using it as a privilege instead. Lots of good food for thought here as Ash enters the toddler stage. And, I too would LOVE to see your cute princess in a PIP if you can get your computer to cooperate.

@2MamazinSeattle - please post and run whenever you want; there are times when that's all I have time for as well. And, I love hearing all about you and lil'mamaz! I for one have missed seeing you in this thread, but totally understand the limited time when you have a new baby on your hands. No, I really haven't done any research other than say, "Hey, doc, should I be concerned about the amount of soy I give Ash." And, they say, "No." I guess it makes sense since so many formulas are soy-based. And babies who are breastfed get extra dose of estrogen through BM. Anyway, I do plan on looking into it further because my original plan was to give some combination of almond, coconut, and hemp milk, but my dr is the one who suggested soy for the extra protein. Since I'm not concerned about the amount of protein (because he eats lots of legumes and high-protein grains like quinoa), I'll probably move to other types of milk eventually. I plan to have a more extensive conversation with his doctor at his one-year appointment.

redrockmama · October 2014

@ATXmommas Thanks, it always helps to know others have been here and survived

Our nanny got M some signing books from the library and he LOVES them. I read it and do the signs in the book and he cracks up. We are going to look into those DVD's as well. Not sure on the best age though. The nanny mentioned that he will be able to link the word and the sign as the same thing in the next couple of months, which is amazing. I do more and milk and a couple others with him now. He just thinks it's the silliest thing ever. I look forward to hearing how it goes for you if you end up doing it.

2brides · October 2014

ATXmommas said:

@2brides - I'm going to look into Signing Times. I was just talking to my friend yesterday about sign language. I totally thought I would be into baby sign language, but I haven't put any effort into it at all. Was wondering if it's worth the effort at this point. Were your boys exposed to it before 18 months?

No, we got them around 15-18m - we might have done simple signs before that: more, thank you, please, water. But nothing major. I love the Signing Time series. They kept the kids attention and they were certainly learning the signs. You can find some on You Tube, I think. And if you end up buying them, look on Ebay - much cheaper than their online store.

Karlamo · October 2014

Checking in late....

R is 8 months old! The big news over here is he has teeth poking through! FINALLY!!!! I was starting to think he didn't come with any. I can see those cute little snow caps on his bottom front teeth. He also started standing up against furniture and sits up on his own. Big milestones over here.

We have a finished basement that has been underutilized since we moved in. We've turned it into our playroom. Lately I've been inspired to make it a fun, creative, evolving space for R. I made my own ball pit using his plastic swimming pool. I also took a box and made a tunnel for him with things dangling from the top as a sensory experience. And just to keep things interesting we made a baby obstacle course out of couch cushions and different things around the house. We learned that last one from our friend who is a pedi physical therapist. It's great for muscle development and brain stimulation.

Baby/kids toys are all made from that cheap, primary colors, plastic crap out of China. Which don't get me wrong, we have plenty of. R has loved touching different types of materials. I've enjoyed watching him explore the different textures of things.

QOTW: No screen time yet. We don't have the tv on when he is around. Plus R would never tolerate us looking at a tv and not him for 5 min's so there's really no point to having it on. We do keep pandora playing all the time. The basement has a projector with screen and surround sound. I imagine we'll let R watch movies down there when he's older.

Mystjava · October 2014

Little Bear is almost 55 months (4 years and 7 months).

Been M.I.A. since my tablet doesn't let me "bump", so in order to keep us up to date, I have to do this from the computer.

We've had some health struggles recently: first it was a fever followed by having double ear infection (his first in two years!). Then it followed by having an major upset stomach that he couldn't hold any food or liquid (come out as vomit). This is only in the month of October.. sigh.. Not only LB was sick, I was momentarily as well (bad tooth). I am trying to find a dentist out here on the Olympic Peninsula that will take me in cheaper than my last one.

As for right this moment.. we're lego freaks and loving it. LB also loves his tablet (his screen time) which he connects to youtube for some things.. One plus that we've trained him is to "avoid" spongebob. (whew!) I'll admit that I allow him more screen time than he should have, but sometimes I just need the extra sleep. It helps keep him slightly quiet at times when Mumm Shawn wants it quiet. (She watches tv all the time and it is always on, which drives me nuts!)

We do as much as imaginary play as possible and reading as possible.

My biggest concern right now is that his lack of interest in writing, learning his alphabet, and so forth. He does sign more now (I'm Deaf and LB is a KODA). I'm a big supporter of "signing time" but just remember, not all of the signs are ASL (American Sign Language). Scholastic has a few videos (DVD) that are stories (Good Night Moon, Big Al, Quack, Something in the Attic, etc) in sign, which are wonderful. LB doesn't attend pre-school and I'm a SAHM.

I'll add a PIP another time...

(edit for spelling errors and hopefully a pip.)

Jazibel · October 2014

Thanks @ATXmommas for the words of encouragement :-) @2Mamazinseattle - please pop on in anytime. Right now all I can do is try and kinda keep up. But this is truly one of the highlights of my day (reading everyone's updates and check-ins).

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