NWMR - Would you travel this close to your due date?

skibunny59 · October 2014

Hi Ladies,

DH wants to make a trip to visit his sister in the next few weeks and I'm not sure if I should go. It would be a 6 hour car trip and I would be almost 36 weeks pregnant. He is perfectly fine making the trip by himself but I kind of feel bad not going. We have not seen our nephew since he was a newborn and he is now 8 months old.

I'm just not sure if that's too close to travel. I asked my midwife about it and she said since I carried DD full term, the chances of me going into early labor with this baby are slim and that even if I did go into labor, there are hospitals everywhere. Honestly, though the thought of delivering a baby at a strange hospital away from home with a random doctor makes me anxious.

I really don't want to take a 6 hour car trip but I feel like a terrible aunt if I don't go. Ugh. I hate making decisions like this.

jlaOK · October 2014

I chose to drive 16 hours for a vacation when I was 35 weeks pregnant. I knew the risks (possibility of delivering out of state) but still decided that I wanted to go. I was happy with the decision and traveling in the car was no more uncomfortable than sitting at my desk for 8 hours a day.

Outside of the physical considerations, I would not go just because you feel guilty. It sounds like you don't want to go and the risks make you anxious. I would plan on going again after you have the baby. A car trip with a small baby is actually fairly easy. They mostly sleep the entire time.

chloebeth930 · October 2014

I drove back and forth from NC to IN (14 hours both way) when I was 37 weeks pregnant. My doctor wasn't too thrilled, but my DH was deploying to Afghanistan and airlines wouldn't let me fly.

It is only 6 hours. Worst case scenerio, if you start to feel like you are going into labor, then get in the car and drive home. The only problem I had was that I had bad swelling in my feet from the long drive.

dashofreality · October 2014

Personally, since you don't want to go I wouldn't go. I am not a fan of roadtrips with kids, and also not pregnant. My guess is it will be longer than 6 hours with all the pee stops:)

I also had completely unexpected PPROM with DD at 35 weeks which probably colors my opinion.

litzo27 · October 2014

If you're feeling fine at the 36 week market I would go. With a 6 hour drive you could probably even drive back if you start to feel off unless you have lightning fast labor. And there are hospitals everywhere for emergencies. I would just check with insurance - my insurance is for a specific hospital and if you travel after 35 weeks and go into labor in another hospital they don't cover a dime (before 35 weeks they do).

justjinny · October 2014

I agree with checking on your insurance. I know mine won't cover anything after 36 weeks if I'm outside of a 50 mile radius from their main hospital.

Personally I wouldn't be comfortable going for that long of a trip this late in pregnancy and I don't think that my DH would want to leave me alone for a few days while he went that far away. He'd be too worried that I'd go into labor and he'd miss it. If your DH does go without you, could you guys skype so you can get a little time "seeing" your SIL and nephew?

Or, since you're getting close to your due date, can your SIL and nephew come visit you once your LO arrives?

VOR · October 2014

Personally, I owuldn't go. Being in a car that long would be SO uncomfortable. For me, at least.

Slb22 · October 2014

I think if it is something you really want to do, then do it. Otherwise forcing yourself because you feel guilty will lead to a horrible trip. There is no way I would have wanted to be in the car for that long at that point in pregnancy so I wouldn't do it unless it was something I really, really wanted to do.
I would also be more concerned with staying home while H goes and going into labor, than going into labor in a strange place.

MommyAtty · October 2014

What @Slb22‌ said on all counts. Both pregnancies, DH had a business trip when I was around 37-38 weeks. Both times I told him, "Go if you'd like, but if I have to go to the hospital by myself, I'm divorcing you. No ifs ands or buts about it." Both times he thought I was being ridiculous but he stayed home. And both times I went into labor when he would have been out of town.

skibunny59 · October 2014

mrssqueegy said:

We drove 5 hours to my brother's wedding when I was 35 weeks. I was the matron (I hate that word) of honour so I had agreed to go before I was pregnant but felt very comfortable in my decision and everyone would have understood if I had changed my mind. There were no issues other than being a bit uncomfortable in the car. We had a great time.

But if it wasn't something super important like this, I would not attend.

See this is the thing. If it were a wedding or christening or something like that I would go but I feel like if it's just a visit we could do that anytime.

And it's only overnight that DH will be away. He is driving there on a Saturday morning and driving back home the next day.

The other thing is, I always feel as if we always are making more of an effort to visit than his sister. We have gone down there more times than they have come to see us so I feel like why should I bend over backwards to go when I am very pregnant and not super comfortable about going right now. But then there's my nephew and I do feel bad that we've not seen him in awhile.

Beevol · October 2014

skibunny59 said:
And it's only overnight that DH will be away. He is driving there on a Saturday morning and driving back home the next day.
The other thing is, I always feel as if we always are making more of an effort to visit than his sister. We have gone down there more times than they have come to see us so I feel like why should I bend over backwards to go when I am very pregnant and not super comfortable about going right now. But then there's my nephew and I do feel bad that we've not seen him in awhile.

I wouldn't go because 12-14 hours (a 6 hour drive while pregnant is longer) in a car in two days is too much. Plus, not only would it just suck to deliver in a strange hospital/without your doctor/midwife, but if you're in the US and you are crossing state lines, there is a good chance that your health insurance would not cover the delivery or do it at an "out of network" rate - so we're talking 5-15K for a vaginal delivery. That's a bigger risk in my book.

Also... you're about to have his sister's nephew - she can come down for the bris/christening/baptism/whatever in a couple of months. I've road tripped 6+ hours pregnant and I've done it with a baby and, for me, it was easier and more comfortable with the baby than at 30 wks pregnant.

Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns · October 2014

I would much rather go pregnant than travel with an infant. If I would feel guilty for not visiting until LO was +6 months my inclination would be to get it over with. This said, I would not go without being certain of your insurance as others have suggested.

emberlee3 · October 2014

Your nephew will not remember if you visit. I wouldn't go at 36 weeks. But I would go if at all possible while on ML.

mae0111 · October 2014

I, personally, would not go. My water broke with DD1 at 36 weeks, and I delivered her 7 hours later. With DD2, I didn't deliver until 38 weeks. I didn't have any contractions all day, I went to bed, water broke at midnight, and I delivered her 40 minutes later. I would not want to be messing around with trying to find the hospital in a strange place. My labor went from zero to OMGGETHEROUT very quickly.

74dragonfly · October 2014

I would not go. Too long in a car, I would want to be near home. Also going to see an 8 month old isn't any sort of 'special" occassion. and it isn't like he knows you have visited lately.

NADA-H · October 2014

I missed my friend's wedding and my aunt's engagement party both because they were happening in my hometown, which is a 2.5 hours flight away from where I live and were happening when I was about 34-36 weeks preg. I didn't feel comfortable getting on a plane while so close to delivery and they wouldn't have let me on a plane anyway. Driving over was not an option (require visas and would take a day and a half to get there by car) and I wouldn't have taken it anyway.

getting me in a car for 6 hours each way just for 1 day is something I'd never do even if not pregnant. towards the end of my pregnancy I needed to keep my legs elevated and couldn't sit for too long without feeling like my hip was about to crack or getting lightening like pain in my hip or crotch so nope!

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