Co-Sleeping article

lbonga1 · October 2014

Anyone see this article? https://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/176755/?utm_medium=sem2&utm_source=fb. I never co-slept with DD1 because she only woke up once or twice a night from the time we came home from the hospital. I sometimes co-sleep with DD2 for part of the night if she's on her fourth or fifth wake-up for the night, and I'm too tired to put her back in her crib. I have noticed it makes her sleep more restlessly the rest of the night when she's in my bed. Any thoughts from those that co-sleep or have in the past?

Amstreagle · October 2014

Ds still co-sleeps. As parents it's what works for us as he sleeps much better this way. I know a lot of people have their opinions which is fine but this is what works for our family.
I'm a firm believer in the fact that how ever raising your child benefits them and your family then go for it.

Puck1182 · October 2014

DD is asleep in my bed right now. ;-) We pretty much only cosleep if she's sick or teething though, and needs the snuggles. She woke up at 2:30 am with a ton of boogers, and was just really needing her mommy. She's been tossing and turning a lot, but that's mostly just because she trying to find a position where she can breathe comfortably. So I'd say she sleeps more restlessly in be with me, but I think the fact that we only cosleep when something is wrong is at least a contributing factor. I, however, do not sleep very well, because every time she moves, I wake up. Which is why I'm awake at 6:00 am on a Saturday. :P

kleigh926 · October 2014

We don't co-sleep on a regular basis so I can't speak from experience. I have, however, heard from a few mothers who do co-sleep and it seems like they're often talking about their babies' poor sleep habits. That of course doesn't apply to everyone I've talked to who co-sleeps. Personally I would never want to do it because it seems uncomfortable and like everyone would sleep more restlessly, especially once the baby becomes bigger and more active. That's just me though.

tamarar5 · October 2014

I cosleep part of the night just about every night. A only gets up once at night, but she's seldom ready to go back to sleep when she's done nursing and I am.

wifeofadam · October 2014

I think the reason why they say that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS is BECAUSE co-sleeping causes a baby to sleep more restlessly. Infants aren't biologically hardwired to sleep through the night. They are meant to wake frequently and eat frequently.

Infants that sleep in their own room also arouse frequently, it's just that we aren't in the room to know it. And often, when an infant arouses it is because they are hungry or uncomfortable. Perhaps they are too hot or too cold. They may not like the position in which they are sleeping but are unable to change it. If the infant is in their crib, mom doesn't hear the noise, the baby fights it for a while and then eventually falls back asleep without their needs being met. Being too hot or not getting enough air increases the risk of SIDS and in those cases, the baby passes away in their sleep.

Here's an interesting study on why you shouldn't let your baby sleep in their own room alone:

https://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/31970/mckenna_why_babies_should_n.pdf

I guess the point is that babies have a walnut-sized stomach. They are meant to sleep somewhat restlessly, whether next to mom or in the other room. Being closer just means you can respond to the restlessness more easily.

Polysomnographic studies comparing exclusively breast

feeding, bedsharing and solitary sleeping mothers show that

even in the deepest stages of sleep, mothers aroused 30%

more frequently when they bedshared. That a high fraction

(

1/2) of maternal arousals overlaps the infant

’

s arousals

and about two-thirds of those times, the infant clearly

aroused

fi

rst suggests a relatively high responsivity on

the part of the mother. This heightened sensitivity might

increase the chances that mothers could more quickly

detect and intervene against a life threatening event that

Polysomnographic studies comparing exclusively breast

feeding, bedsharing and solitary sleeping mothers show that

even in the deepest stages of sleep, mothers aroused 30%

more frequently when they bedshared. That a high fraction

(

1/2) of maternal arousals overlaps the infant

’

s arousals

and about two-thirds of those times, the infant clearly

aroused

fi

rst suggests a relatively high responsivity on

the part of the mother. This heightened sensitivity might

increase the chances that mothers could more quickly

detect and intervene against a life threatening event that

night-time separation from the baby precludes.

kleigh926 · October 2014

If my son is sleeping very restlessly in my room, that also means I'm sleeping restlessly. That leads to me being exhausted the next day and impairs my ability to effectively care for my two young children. My opinion is that if my baby really needs something, he'll let me know. If he's just fussing or grunting a little bit and it's not enough to make him fully wake up and cry before falling back into a deep sleep, I don't see how that means his "needs aren't being met." I moved him to his crib 2 nights ago because he was keeping me awake for hours at night, but I knew he was changed and fed. I have the monitor on the second highest volume so that if he's doing anything more than quiet fussing or grunting, I hear him.

I'm just not sure I buy that all babies are biologically wired to wake often. Both my babies have had long stretches of sleep at night (6-7 hours) from about 5 weeks old. I think it's just another one of those things that depends on the baby and the routine that you have for your baby.

lbonga1 · October 2014

kleigh926 said:

If my son is sleeping very restlessly in my room, that also means I'm sleeping restlessly. That leads to me being exhausted the next day and impairs my ability to effectively care for my two young children. My opinion is that if my baby really needs something, he'll let me know. If he's just fussing or grunting a little bit and it's not enough to make him fully wake up and cry before falling back into a deep sleep, I don't see how that means his "needs aren't being met." I moved him to his crib 2 nights ago because he was keeping me awake for hours at night, but I knew he was changed and fed. I have the monitor on the second highest volume so that if he's doing anything more than quiet fussing or grunting, I hear him. I'm just not sure I buy that all babies are biologically wired to wake often. Both my babies have had long stretches of sleep at night (6-7 hours) from about 5 weeks old. I think it's just another one of those things that depends on the baby and the routine that you have for your baby.

*Stuck in box*
I agree with you, kleigh. I try to keep DD2 in her crib, though her crib is in my bedroom. She squirms a lot in her sleep, but only really wakes up if her reflux is bothering her or she has bad gas. I do at least offer to nurse whenever she wakes up, but she doesn't always want to, even if it's been a few hours.

holly321 · October 2014

wifeofadam said:

I think the reason why they say that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS is BECAUSE co-sleeping causes a baby to sleep more restlessly. Infants aren't biologically hardwired to sleep through the night. They are meant to wake frequently and eat frequently.

Infants that sleep in their own room also arouse frequently, it's just that we aren't in the room to know it. And often, when an infant arouses it is because they are hungry or uncomfortable. Perhaps they are too hot or too cold. They may not like the position in which they are sleeping but are unable to change it. If the infant is in their crib, mom doesn't hear the noise, the baby fights it for a while and then eventually falls back asleep without their needs being met. Being too hot or not getting enough air increases the risk of SIDS and in those cases, the baby passes away in their sleep.

Here's an interesting study on why you shouldn't let your baby sleep in their own room alone:

https://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/31970/mckenna_why_babies_should_n.pdf

I guess the point is that babies have a walnut-sized stomach. They are meant to sleep somewhat restlessly, whether next to mom or in the other room. Being closer just means you can respond to the restlessness more easily.

Polysomnographic studies comparing exclusively breast
feeding, bedsharing and solitary sleeping mothers show that
even in the deepest stages of sleep, mothers aroused 30%
more frequently when they bedshared. That a high fraction
(
1/2) of maternal arousals overlaps the infant
’
s arousals
and about two-thirds of those times, the infant clearly
aroused
fi
rst suggests a relatively high responsivity on
the part of the mother. This heightened sensitivity might
increase the chances that mothers could more quickly
detect and intervene against a life threatening event that

Polysomnographic studies comparing exclusively breast
feeding, bedsharing and solitary sleeping mothers show that
even in the deepest stages of sleep, mothers aroused 30%
more frequently when they bedshared. That a high fraction
(
1/2) of maternal arousals overlaps the infant
’
s arousals
and about two-thirds of those times, the infant clearly
aroused
fi
rst suggests a relatively high responsivity on
the part of the mother. This heightened sensitivity might
increase the chances that mothers could more quickly
detect and intervene against a life threatening event that
night-time separation from the baby precludes.

This. They only seem to be sleeping better because they aren't in your bed. We partially coslept with both kids. I found it to be easiest. I would dose off while DS is sleeping. If dd wakes up in the middle of the night, she now just climbs in our bed, vs waking me up to see what's going on.

kleigh926 · October 2014

I really just don't think it's true for all babies that it only seems like they're sleeping better because they're not in your bed. Babies are all different.... is it really so unbelievable that some babies might not always want to sleep with their parents? DS sweats a lot and when I do bring him into bed with me, he's always soaked after an hour or two. I can't imagine it's very comfortable to be hot and sweaty like that.

wifeofadam · October 2014

@kleigh926

I reread what I wrote and it didn't come out well. I'm sorry if it offended you. I'm very sure you're meeting your child's needs and didn't mean to imply otherwise.

My point was that many things can cause SIDS, including temperature, air flow, and other things. Being wet or hungry are not the only reasons a baby will arouse. When a baby arouses due to discomfort, they may not always cry or make noises that a monitor will pick up. If a baby is next to you and starts silently squirming to get comfortable, you're going to wake up. The reason why SIDS rates are lower when you cosleep is because you can hear everything going on with the baby and as the link I posted shows, mothers may be wired to do so.

I agree with PP that everyone needs to do what is right for their families. Bedsharing works for us. I can see how others wouldn't like it. Even though I may wake more often with the baby next to me, I sleep better knowing they are next to me.

wifeofadam · October 2014

kleigh926 said:

I really just don't think it's true for all babies that it only seems like they're sleeping better because they're not in your bed. Babies are all different.... is it really so unbelievable that some babies might not always want to sleep with their parents? DS sweats a lot and when I do bring him into bed with me, he's always soaked after an hour or two. I can't imagine it's very comfortable to be hot and sweaty like that.

You're confusing cosleeping with bedsharing. Cosleeping is having the baby in the same room with you, which is what these articles are talking about. Being in a crib next to your bed wouldn't make your child any hotter. Bedsharing is having the baby in bed with you.

And I absolutely think that babies who aren't sleeping in bed with mom wake just as many times. Babies go through a natural sleep cycle where they become restless every 45-50 minutes. If during that time they are uncomfortable, hungry, hot, or whatever, they will wake up and try to wake mom.

As a bedsharing mom, this is why my kids generally wake every hour on the hour during difficult developmental periods. If they are cutting teeth or are sick, every time they hit that restless stage they will wake, realize that I am next to them, and want some comfort. A baby in a crib is still going to wake and feel uncomfortable during that time, but if they have been trained to know that mom isn't going to come, they are going to fall back asleep on their own.

I'm not sure what is better. I see the advantage to teaching a baby to soothe his or herself back to sleep on their own. But just because they are able to do their own soothing, it doesn't mean that they aren't waking the same number of times as the baby in bed next to their mother. The baby in the bed just knows it has other options, I guess, so mom knows she has woken up.

kleigh926 · October 2014

@wifeofadam, you're right, I think I was mixing up cosleeping and bedsharing. But what holly said was referring to being in the same bed, and if a baby is hot, he's going to be more restless and uncomfortable than if he were in his own crib/bassinet/whatever. That's all I meant.

I guess I think that babies don't need their mothers every time they wake up and are slightly uncomfortable. If it's too much that they aren't able to soothe themselves back to sleep, then they cry and their mothers should attend to them. I don't train my babies that I'm not coming if they need something; I'm training them to try soothing themselves instead of me jumping to help them every time they stir, and if they can't, then I will be there.

Not taking offense, just explaining my point of view

wifeofadam · October 2014

I totally understand and I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Different mothering styles is all. I think we all love our babies the same and are doing what we think is best. I hope you don't feel like I think you're not

lbonga1 · October 2014

I confused the difference between co-sleeping and bed sharing too. Thanks for the clarification @wifeofadam

tamarar5 · October 2014

You know, I think I've used co-sleeping and bed-sharing interchangeably. I didn't realize they were different and not synonymous.

I co-sleep until we decide to put kiddo in his/her crib. I bed share part of the night when A isn't ready to go back to sleep.

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