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courtneyc830 · October 2014

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ashiscute · October 2014

I was pregnant at the same time as my SIL. My DS is 9 weeks older than my niece. I guess it was super exciting. I mean I was very excited for them to be expecting but it wasn't like a corny rom com or anything.

However, ttc at the same time can be tricky. The person who conceives first may guilty and the other one jealous.

courtneyc830 · October 2014

She and I have both agreed that when one of us gets pregnant we will just be happy for each other. She and I didn't plan to ttc but we both decided we wanted a baby at the same time so it would be cool if we did get pregnant at the same time.

ashiscute · October 2014

courtneyc830 said:

She and I have both agreed that when one of us gets pregnant we will just be happy for each other. She and I didn't plan to ttc but we both decided we wanted a baby at the same time so it would be cool if we did get pregnant at the same time.

How do you agree to something like that? How can you possibly know how you'll feel? I'm really not trying to be snarky but that is incredibly silly. Of course you will be happy for the other one but you cannot guarantee that you won't be jealous, upset, guilty or whatever. Those are normal emotions and okay to feel.

My SIL had a lot of trouble getting pregnant. She started ttc when I first got engaged, had one loss, and multiple fertilitly treatments before conceiving my niece four years later. My niece who is 9 weeks younger than my second child. I promise you there were lots of feelings of guilt/jealousy.

Helenahhandbasket · October 2014

No experience being pregnant at the same time as a close family memeber personally.

I will say that while I can see it being fun/ neat to share that together, be prepared for hurt feelings if one of you gets pregnant quickly and the other does not.

Obvioulsy I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but my STBXH's best friend's wife and I were pregnant at the same time. I was about 7 weeks behind her and I unfortunatley lost that pregnancy. It was HORRIBLE being around her. (my issue, not hers). I was a bitter, jealous mess during that time-- something I am not proud of, but that was the reality.

Miliska · October 2014

My best friend and I had babies on the brain at the same time. It turned out we became pregnant at the same time and our LOs were born 24h apart! It was definitively nice to share our pregnancy experience and it's still very nice to talk about motherhood with someone who has a kid the same age as yours.

That was a very lucky situation though. Be prepared that one of you could become pregnant way before the other. I'm sure one would be really happy for the other, but you can't predict how you will feel about anything.

Twinkie0612 · October 2014

courtneyc830 said:

She and I have both agreed that when one of us gets pregnant we will just be happy for each other. She and I didn't plan to ttc but we both decided we wanted a baby at the same time so it would be cool if we did get pregnant at the same time.

This sounds good in theory, but you don't know how either of you will feel if one gets pregnant and the other has issues. My sister and I were TTC at the same time (my first and her second). She had a miscarriage right around the time we started trying and I worried about how she would feel if I got pregnant right away. As it turns out, she got pregnant 5 months later with my nephew (who is now 2) and we are still TTC our first 3+ years later. I love my nephew so much and I was genuinely happy for my sister, but there were definitely times that I was upset and jealous.

courtneyc830 · October 2014

Thank you everyone for your opinions. It's true we don't know how we will feel for sure after getting pregnant or not getting pregnant but we are honest with each other about our feelings to the point that if I was jealous or guilty feeling she is the only person on earth I would tell.

jnnfrrose6 · October 2014

courtneyc830 said:

*SNIP* this would probably be the closest he would come to saying he would try for one. (To him trying involves a lot of planning and would make any complications even more difficult. I disagree with the second part of that). Anyway so my best friend (who is also married to my husband's oldest brother) told me the other day that her and her hubby were going to ttc also. (What a coincidence we both got married in the same month too!) I was hoping to see if anyone else had ever been pregnant the same time as a sister-in-law or a family member. We think it would be exciting to be pregnant at the same time since we planned our wedding together too. No we did not decide to ttc because the other wanted to ttc.

I'm going to hit on both of the bolded points above, but start with the "pregnant at the same time" first. My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time (she was 2 months ahead of me), but it didn't do anything (positive or negative) to our relationship. Then again, my SIL isn't my best friend, so there's that.

As to "planning" or not, just because your DH isn't interested in whatever he thinks that means doesn't mean you can't take some control. There's nothing preventing you from taking control of what's going on for your own benefit. My DH was all "it'll happen when it happens" too, but I still charted and temped. It helped me feel like I had a grip on what was going on, if we were had good timing (we didn't "schedule" sex, but I could at least see if we were doing it around the best time of the cycle) and I never had to stress about if I was "late" or pregnant because I knew when I ovulated and when my two week wait was.

courtneyc830 · October 2014

jnnfrrose6 said:

courtneyc830 said:

*SNIP* this would probably be the closest he would come to saying he would try for one. (To him trying involves a lot of planning and would make any complications even more difficult. I disagree with the second part of that). Anyway so my best friend (who is also married to my husband's oldest brother) told me the other day that her and her hubby were going to ttc also. (What a coincidence we both got married in the same month too!) I was hoping to see if anyone else had ever been pregnant the same time as a sister-in-law or a family member. We think it would be exciting to be pregnant at the same time since we planned our wedding together too. No we did not decide to ttc because the other wanted to ttc.

I'm going to hit on both of the bolded points above, but start with the "pregnant at the same time" first. My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time (she was 2 months ahead of me), but it didn't do anything (positive or negative) to our relationship. Then again, my SIL isn't my best friend, so there's that.

As to "planning" or not, just because your DH isn't interested in whatever he thinks that means doesn't mean you can't take some control. There's nothing preventing you from taking control of what's going on for your own benefit. My DH was all "it'll happen when it happens" too, but I still charted and temped. It helped me feel like I had a grip on what was going on, if we were had good timing (we didn't "schedule" sex, but I could at least see if we were doing it around the best time of the cycle) and I never had to stress about if I was "late" or pregnant because I knew when I ovulated and when my two week wait was.

Thank you a lot that really did help!!!

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