Debbie Downers/Whines/Vents

[Deleted User] · October 2014

I don't want to throw my big ball of sad into the middle of the FFFC.

I hate everything about everything today. I want to lock myself in my bedroom, curl myself into a little ball, and just cry. There isn't anything in particular wrong. I'm just drained. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm super sensitive about everything. I almost cried because there weren't anymore bacon egg and cheese muffins when I went down for breakfast this morning. I had two other breakfast options to choose from but that one thing was the end of the world. I literally feel like I'm out of my mind.

Anyone else have anything that they want to get out?

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

I'm so sorry... just want to give you big Hugs

[Deleted User] · October 2014

bay511 said:
It's approaching the holidays and my family sucks. I hate the drama, the guilt, and the judgement. Dreading that aspect. I hate that I'm guilted into having contact with my mother.

Huge hugs @guiltypleasures‌. I'm right there with you. I'm not a crier but the littlest stupid things are making me tear up. Sometimes the little things are the last straw, you know?

Spend the holidays with me. It solves all your problems. We can get super drunk and laugh at my ILs.

slednecksmomma · October 2014

I'm not happy with my looks right now, my H and I have been fighting on and off lately, I'm not liking my job (too much unnecessary girl drama), and we have money problems going on. I feel like I'm such a Debbie downer lately.

thebanich · October 2014

I just hate myself today. I was not patient with the kids last night and again this morning. I haven't been taking care of myself. I'm tired. I hate my hair.

I want to be a better mom/wife/person but I can't seem to make any changes that stick.

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

My vent and recent neurosis is that I'm having serious, physical, panicking anxiety about the impending "sick season" as winter approaches...and terrified of what it will bring with a 3 year old in daycare and a newborn that will be born right in the middle of it.

I am most afraid of the dreaded stomach bug. Colds I can handle all day long... stomach bugs, I am not kidding when I say I have an actual full on issue with and it causes actual physical symptoms related to my panic disorder to even think about it.

Last season we were hit with stomach bug with DS 3 times in a damn row, over just a 2-3 month period...the 3rd time, I was in the throws of first tri and couldn't even care for him properly.

I just feel like it's lurking around any corner now and will rear its ugly head and I'm terrified of what position I'll be in when it does... still largely pregnant? with a brand new newborn and in the midst of post partum hell?... I could barely handle it last season with just one kid, how am I going to do this? What if I get it too? (another anxiety trigger since I have an actual fear of vomiting)

My logical side feels silly because there are far more serious things to fear but... wtf, world.

I just wish this anxiety would go away... I can't stand to live like this. Usually I keep a pretty good handle on my panic, I've dealt with it for years... but lately I've found myself struggling with this as we get closer to winter and now everytime my DS even utters the words "I don't feel good" (which he'll sometimes even say for no real reason but attention), I instantly get nauseated and feel like I'm going to have a panic attack

Sorry for the dear diary of lameness but... just needed to spew it. Sometimes I feel like other people in my real life don't get it.

lildevil968 · October 2014

I'm pretty pissed at my DH. This morning I asked him to help me get DS ready because I was running a little late. All he had to do was help DS get dressed, and get him a little snack for the car ride. DS had already had his clothes, he just needed some help putting them on. DH's respnse was "I can't help you, I have to go, bye" Wrong answer dude!

It doesn't help that we have had it out many times over his lack of help.

I just called him and asked him to pick up DD's prescription because I won't get home in time to do it. His response was "you can't leave early and do it?" I'm seriously about to lose my shit!

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

Oh and I second all the vents about financial stress... fucking money. But that's just a perpetual depressing topic to me. Feels like we're never going to get ahead, no matter how hard we work... feels like we're never going to be able to buy a house in this godforsaken state.. Just blah.

lildevil968 · October 2014

CTGirl30 said:

I have another confession. It's common knowledge here that my husband travels a crapload for the nature of his work. Now, his salary equates to mine 3x over and basically is what keeps us afloat financially so him finding another position isn't really feasible. It is what it is. But him traveling so much is a major source of my feeling anxious and basically on edge for 4 days out of 7 a week that he is away. I worry at night with any sounds / if the kids are sick, I am the one to take time off work and bring them to the pedi / daycare closures, I take the day off work to be home with them, etc. It is a huge source of stress for me but I know that if he took a serious pay cut and found something local there would be way less stability all around and we wouldn't be able to afford our life. So what would be the worst stress?? His travel or our finances? 6 to one, half dozen to the other. I am hoping it gets easier as the kids get older and continue to be more self-sufficient. I feel like I'm carrying around a weight a lot of the time with this.

I can understand. My DH used to travel for work. He would be gone 3-4 weeks, back for 2 weeks, and then gone again. It sucked, but the pay was ok. Eventually I got really tired of it, I was under a lot of stress, and we all where unhappy. He took a pay cut when he quit that job, but we made it work. In the end it made all of us a lot happier.

MrsT0514 · October 2014

I already stuck this in the fffc thread, but this is probably a more appropriate place for it.

MH's boss just asked him to work OT tomorrow, last minute. I also have work tomorrow and cant possibly find a cover for my shift on such short notice.

My ILs are in town staying at a vaca home about 25min away. My SIL, her bf, possibly my niece and nephew, as well as my BIL are also staying with them. They're celebrating SILs bday this weekend and we're supposed to go over there for dinner tomorrow night. Any celebration is excuse for a boozefest with them, and my MIL (and BIL and SIL as well), while they are fine when sober, they're incredibly obnoxious drunks and dont know their limit with alcohol. ugh.

Well MH just suggested we ask MIL to come babysit DS tomorrow while we're both at work. Logically, I know she wouldn't pop open the wine at 11am or anything, and shes babysat my niece and nephew before with no issue, but I'm just not comfortable with her watching DS. I'm afraid that she'll have the entire gang come along with her and then DS will get lost in the shuffle or something. He also had a few shots today, so if he's not feeling well tomorrow, I just want to know that whoever watches him will be receptive to his needs if he's sick/cranky...which my MIL isn't the most nurturing type. Like..at all.

Idk. I feel guilty for saying it, but my MILs behavior when she drinks has seriously colored/tainted my view of her ability to be a respectable grandparent/caregiver. She doesn't see us very often (her social life has always come first) and I know its important for my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents, so I WANT to feel comfortable with her...but I'm just not.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

It's days like today that make me think that I shouldn't have kids.

MrsT0514 · October 2014

@guiltypleasures‌ im so sorry you're dealing with so much right now. You're under a shitload of stress. No one is at their best wjen they're stressed out. Please dont think for one second that you shouldn't have kids bc of that. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you're feeling. Take a breath and give yourself a break. ::hugs::

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

Commiseration lovetit, Mack... I am sorry you have these feelings too, but I feel better that I'm not completely alone

angelashly · October 2014

I just want to hug you

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

I'm not surprised, as I already do have a legit panic disorder (diagnosed as a teenager)... but... I used to have a better handle on it before last season, after he started a bigger daycare and this shit got REAL with the coming-down-with-every-ailment.

Karbird5 · October 2014

Hugs @guiltypleasures‌
You ok?

We are reeling from the news my FIL has pancreatic cancer. He was given about a month. Today my Keurig decided to go tits up. Can I join you ladies under the covers?

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

Yes... yes yes yes...exactly me too.

And I feel like the anxiety is going to be a million times worse this year because now I'll have to constantly worry about my newborn too.

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

I really hope that someday we could move too, but it would be a long time...it's just not feasible to move away from the family support we have here, and plus my being in school right now, etc.... at least while our kids are young and growing up, I don't see it as an option

it would be really really hard to convince my H to move...he grew up here and ALL his family is here...so...yeah. I have some family here too but my parents are elsewhere.

TheRunningGinger · October 2014

guiltypleasures said:
It's days like today that make me think that I shouldn't have kids.

Whoa. No. Just no. Please do not feel that way. That made me tear up. You absolutely should have kids if that's what you want (and I know it is). Every one has bad days. Everyone. And sometimes it's ok to just curl up and cry. I obviously don't know you and I hardly post here but I want to hug you. I'm sorry you are feeling so down.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Karbird5 said:

Hugs @guiltypleasures‌ You ok? We are reeling from the news my FIL has pancreatic cancer. He was given about a month. Today my Keurig decided to go tits up. Can I join you ladies under the covers?

I'll be okay. I'm so sorry about your FIL. There's lots of room under my covers.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Huge ((((HUGS!!))) @catbenatar. I'm so sorry That's so much to deal with all at once.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) for everyone.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

I really

you @Sterling13. A whole lot.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Today is just a really bad day. I'll drink a lot, cry and drink some more Eventually I'll pull myself together.

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

Big hugs to @Sterling13 .... it's all so unfair and shitty... I wish I could make it all disappear for you

[Deleted User] · October 2014

@dozensofus I don't know the details of your situation but I understand those feelings. It huts in ways that I can't describe. The same situation happens to me more often than I want to admit. I'm so sorry love.

fancynewbeesly · October 2014

We are STILL at CHOP---2.5 weeks and no end in sight. Because we live semi-far from the hospital (1.5/2 hours) DH can only make it upon weekends, and my mom only day during the week. I miss my bed and everything else. Plus it is just lonely here.

oscarwao · October 2014

CTGirl30 said:
I'm sorry, GP (and anyone else who needs a hug).

Right now my big compaint is that I am just always exhausted - I never feel fully rested or caught up on my life for more than 5 minutes. I am struggling with keeping up with the merry-go-round of balancing my FT job / the state of my home / the needs of my kids / doing all childcare duties solo all week long / not having any time leftover for me.

We bought a treadmill so I can excercise once the kids are in bed. But by 7:30, once they're all tucked away and I've packed lunches for the following day and cleaned up the kitchen, I am so damn tired that all I want to do is collapse into my bed. And yet it's the only way I'm going to lose the weight to give me more energy and feel better all around. I can't get up any earlier because I'm already up at 5:00am on weekdays. I guess I could start trying to get up at 4:00??? I mean, that just sounds absurd to me.

I want off the hamster wheel for a little bit. And weekends are not very relaxing unless it's naptime but then I'm usually using that 2 hours to do yard work / something I have been waiting to do that can't easily be done with kids around and under my feet.

I only have one kid but in terms of schedules we are like twins. I cannot find any time to exercise because I cannot imagine getting up any earlier in the morning and I am so tired by the time she goes down at 8:30. Lots of commiseration.

MrsT0514 · October 2014

Huge hugs to everyone having a rough day. Sorry you are struggling right now. All the hugs and cocktails coming your way!

[Deleted User] · October 2014

So much love to you @fancynewbeesly. I can't imagine how lonely you must feel. We're all here for you.

@Avswolf Seeking help was the right thing to do. Maybe you can tell him after another session or so when things might be getting a little easier for you.

(((((hugs))))) and more ((((((hugs)))))) @luxannie

jesuisfatiguee · October 2014

I'd hug the shit out of you, GP.

I am a big today-hater, too. Fucking hate it so much right now. All day, really. There's a lot of shit I want to bitch about, but I won't.

FUCK THIS DAY.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

@jesuitfatiguee

[Deleted User] · October 2014

@tlex Don't worry about me. Take care of your self. (((((Hugs)))))

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

What did he say @gothefawktosleep ? He just wont even talk it out with you?

Can you go at it from an angle of "I think something with more structure and activities and a larger variety of other kids in her age group will benefit her as she's growing older" rather than a "against your cousin" thing? I actually think that's a pretty valid reason in itself... there came a point where a center with a more structured schedule was much more suited for DS as he got past the age of 2. He's a social butterfly so there's that too but... he's really thrived in it

He was at a licensed in-home previously and we absolutely LOVED her but she was just a better environment for under pre-school age (and that's what she preferred too)....plus she closed, so we didn't have a choice but...still. I feel like he was ready for something bigger.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

SpaceGirlSpiff · October 2014

gothefawktosleep said:

@SpaceGirlSpiff‌ it all comes down to money. He doesn't know where we will come up with the extra $400 a month. We are trying for a sib and he's considering that in his decision.

I hear that...money is tough... childcare is SO expensive...believe me I know, and I cringe inside everytime I have to write those damn checks.

But you know, if it's important enough to you and important to the welfare of your child, I hope he will at least really sit down and try to brainstorm with you to see if there's ANY way you can make it work, rather than just dismiss it.

Sorry... it's never fun to deal with this stuff

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

EVA116 · October 2014

CTGirl30 said:
I'm sorry, GP (and anyone else who needs a hug).

Right now my big compaint is that I am just always exhausted - I never feel fully rested or caught up on my life for more than 5 minutes. I am struggling with keeping up with the merry-go-round of balancing my FT job / the state of my home / the needs of my kids / doing all childcare duties solo all week long / not having any time leftover for me.

We bought a treadmill so I can excercise once the kids are in bed. But by 7:30, once they're all tucked away and I've packed lunches for the following day and cleaned up the kitchen, I am so damn tired that all I want to do is collapse into my bed. And yet it's the only way I'm going to lose the weight to give me more energy and feel better all around. I can't get up any earlier because I'm already up at 5:00am on weekdays. I guess I could start trying to get up at 4:00??? I mean, that just sounds absurd to me.

I want off the hamster wheel for a little bit. And weekends are not very relaxing unless it's naptime but then I'm usually using that 2 hours to do yard work / something I have been waiting to do that can't easily be done with kids around and under my feet.

I could have written thus exactly!
Hugs lady.

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