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Not quite the reaction we were hoping for..

HawaiianSunset09HawaiianSunset09 member
in Pregnant after a Loss
So my inlaws knew we were doing treatment as they kept H for us when we did our IUI..so we updated them on the good news once my blood work came back good. My BIL didn't react at all...so I thought maybe he didn't get what we were saying..but he acknowledged he got it but he refuses to get excited til I'm further along. He is one of those that forbids his wife to announce til 13w each time. They have never had a loss so they have no idea why it's so important to me to acknowledge this baby now... I'm heartbroken.. It makes me not want to tell anyone else! My betas have never been better, the nurse has actually told me to prep mentally for twins. I think I was just so shocked to be told straight up "I'm not gonna be happy til your further along".
.Became a mama to my sweet little boy after 3 years of waiting and praying in October '12. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Miscarried twins from our first IUI cycle. D&C on August 14th, 2014
Second IUI cycle: BFP
Beta #1 (13dpiui): 74 Beta #2 (16dpiui): 505 Beta #3 (18dpiui): 1205
First Ultrasound- 6w2d 110BPM! Our baby has a heartbeat!!
BabyFruit Ticker
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Re: Not quite the reaction we were hoping for..

  • HawaiianSunset09HawaiianSunset09 member
    It really sucked. No one really seemed happy but that was like a slap in the face response. My mom is happy but the rest were just like oh... We have only told the immediate family and a select few outside that circle. Maybe Im just being super hormonal but it made me really sad and feel like this baby doesnt matter. 
    .Became a mama to my sweet little boy after 3 years of waiting and praying in October '12. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Miscarried twins from our first IUI cycle. D&C on August 14th, 2014
    Second IUI cycle: BFP
    Beta #1 (13dpiui): 74 Beta #2 (16dpiui): 505 Beta #3 (18dpiui): 1205
    First Ultrasound- 6w2d 110BPM! Our baby has a heartbeat!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    imageimage
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I'm so sorry you didn't get the reaction you were looking for. Stay positive. You love your baby and it does matter! Don't let his reaction ruin your excitement! ((Hugs))
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  • DenaMareeDenaMaree member
    Ugh, I am so sorry! Sending you so many Hugs!
        BFP: 2/24/14 | EDD: 10/22/14 (triplets) 
    US (with RE) 3/24/2014 (two healthy HB), US (with OB) 3/31/2014 (three healthy heartbeats)
    US (with RE) 4/7/14 No Heartbeats :(  | D&C 4/8/14
    BFP#2: 10/22/14 | (beta  #1 75, beta # 2 219) | EDD 7/3/15 ~*Please be our RAINBOW*~
    DX: MTHFR hetero C677T


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  • chicagojackiechicagojackie member
    Yuck sorry. MEN! Ugh!!
    BFP #1: It's a GIRL! DD born October, 2012
    BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
    BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
    *everyone always welcome*
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  • carlsonbaby2014carlsonbaby2014 member
    YorkieLove83 said:

    I'm so sorry you didn't get the reaction you were looking for. Stay positive. You love your baby and it does matter! Don't let his reaction ruin your excitement! ((Hugs))

    This. 100%!! Sorry his reaction was harsh but just funnel all the positive thoughts you can into this moment. If he's not going to jump on board, don't let it bring you down. ((Hugs))!!!!
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
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  • KMW08KMW08 member
    That reaction does suck. Do they know of your loss history?

    The few we told right away (parents, couple cousins) i reinforced that I needed positivity. I explained that while I was excited I had a lot of fear and I needed prayers, support and optimism because there was no way I could be outwardly excited that early on and somebody needed to be.

    BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

    DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

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  • Samuelismomma Samuelismomma member
    Sorry the reaction sucked:( sometimes people that have never had losses, don't understand:( your happy and H is happy and that all that matters.
    ***ticker warning*** DS 3/27/12 born 6 weeks early....my perfect boy !! Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers [url=http://lilypie.com][img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/z5R8p1.png[/img][/url] image<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?
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  • JustinsGirl2011JustinsGirl2011 member
    I remember having a friend who reacted like that... It sucks, but I think some people just don't know how to handle it. Congrats on great numbers!!! I'll do a little happy dance with you! ((Hugs))
    BFP #2 3/19/14      EDD: 11/28/14
     Femara + Gonal F + Ovidrel  3/6/14  IUI #3 (plus 2x acupuncture)

    Team Pink!!
    BabyFruit Ticker


    BFP #1 7/22/13   EDD 3/29/14   MMC 8/13/13
      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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    ALL ARE WELCOME
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  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    I'm sorry he reacted that way. This is why we are not telling our parents until we have at least a couple ultrasounds under our belt. I know they will be hesitant to get excited this early, given my history, and I NEED them to be excited, you know?
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    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


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  • NoeliaVNoeliaV member
    That was rather rude of him. I'm glad your mom is excited, though, and I agree with the others that *you* and your H should keep being happy, excited and thinking positively. Sending you ((( hugs ))) for his reaction. (And, heck, I'm excited for you, too!)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP: 12/20/13 EDD: 08/23/14 (discovered m/c at 8w5d)
    BFP: 09/22/14 EDD: 06/06/15 (hoping for our rainbow)
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • mrsjg2013mrsjg2013 member
    YorkieLove83 said:
    I'm so sorry you didn't get the reaction you were looking for. Stay positive. You love your baby and it does matter! Don't let his reaction ruin your excitement! ((Hugs))

    **stuck in the box**

    This exactly.  My MIL responded to our last pregnancy with, "Again?"  I had MH tell her on his own this time.  It's hard to swallow, but don't let it make you feel any less excited about your LO!  
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  • lyndz333lyndz333 member
    I'm really sorry you didn't get the reaction you wanted.  There are plenty of other people that will be stoked for you!

    On a side note, your comment about how after having losses it's important to you to acknowledge this baby now really changed my perspective on my pregnancy.  I've kept my losses and my current pregnancy mum out of fear.  No matter what happens, there is a baby there and that will never change and I should be giving in to the excitement that that possibility brings.  Thank you for your post.  :)
    BFP #1 - 12/7/2012 - EDD 8/14/2013 - DD born 8/17/2013
    BFP #2 - 3/31/2014 - EDD 12/6/2014 - Natural miscarriage on 4/28/2014
    BFP #3 - 8/4/2014 - EDD 4/12/2015 - Chemical Pregnancy discovered on 8/13/2014

     image

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  • beckynsean11beckynsean11 member
    Well that was super crappy of him! I'm so sorry he reacted that way. You have every reason to be excited & proud of this pregnancy. Don't let his shit attitude bring you down. Congrats on the fantastic numbers!!!

       Me: IR-PCOS, elevated DHEAs, low progesterone, weak ovulation  DH: low volume, low T
    SHG 5/10/13: both tubes blocked; HSG 6/28 = Left tube cleared! Right blocked.
    BFP#1 7/20/13 EDD 3/30/14, m/c 8/19/13, D&E 8/21/13, Chromosomal results = normal, female
    Lap & hysteroscopy scheduled for 10/31, right tube cleared, no endo found! ...Happy Halloween!
    Cycle 14: Clomid (50)+ IUI = BFP! EDD 9/16/14~ Rowan Elizabeth born sleeping at 17w4d on 4/12/14 due to IC.
    ~There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world~
    New RE June 2014. RPL b/w - negative. SIS looking for uterine/cervical abnormalities & Asherman's 6/10/14 - ALL CLEAR!  
    Cycle 16: Natural IUI = CP, Cycle 17: Femara (2.5) + IUI = BFN, Cycle 18 Femara (5) + IUI = BFFN, Cycle 19: Break
    Cycle 20: Clomid (50)+ IUI = BFP EDD 6/20, transvaginal cerclage 12/19, Carson Quinn born sleeping at 16w3d on 1/6/15 due to IC
    Phone consult with Dr. Haney (Univ of Chicago) for transabdominal cercalge scheduled for 2/9/15.
    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."
    image image imageimage 
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  • HawaiianSunset09HawaiianSunset09 member
    @lyndz333
    Your comment brought me to tears. Thank you for that. 
    :x

    I know you guys are completely right and I am trying so hard not to let his reaction dictate my excitement. It just really scared me for some reason. Yes, he is completely aware of our losses, they kept our son for us when I had the d&c. I really shouldnt have expected it to be any different knowing him though. He is very blunt and kind of a jerk often. 
    .Became a mama to my sweet little boy after 3 years of waiting and praying in October '12. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Miscarried twins from our first IUI cycle. D&C on August 14th, 2014
    Second IUI cycle: BFP
    Beta #1 (13dpiui): 74 Beta #2 (16dpiui): 505 Beta #3 (18dpiui): 1205
    First Ultrasound- 6w2d 110BPM! Our baby has a heartbeat!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    imageimage
    image
    Report Reply
  • LuvLoveXoLuvLoveXo member
    Don't let him rain on your parade. Shame on him for making you feel this way. If he chooses to not get excited that's on him. Enjoy this moment and stay positive. You don't need the company of negative Nancy's.
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  • pblgepblge member
    Sorry you're dealing with that. Congratulations to you, and don't let him spoil your happiness!
    **********************siggy/ticker warning**********************

    ***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage. :'(  Stage 1 endo removed June 2013. IVF #1 Oct/Nov 2013: Long Lupron with Gonal-F. 7R, 7M, 7F. 2 txfer@3d. Nothing frozen.  => M/C @ 8 wks. :'( Selected RPL panel all normal. Very hyper and brittle response to stims. IVF #2 (antagonist protocol) Feb 2014 => Converted to IUI (Perfect conditions). BFN. IVF #2.1 w/ new RE June 2014: Antagonist protocol. 33R, 31M, 30F, 19 blasts to test!!! I made it through without crashing!! :) Hats off to Dr. Fancypants!! ET of one 5AB blast. BFN. 13 10 CCS'ed snowflakes! FET #1 PUPO as of 7/29 Betas: 8/7@24, 8/9@97, 8/11@334 (etc.) Two sacs on 8/15, one seen on 8/18 after a bleed. U/s 8/25 (6+3) "perfect": 5.9 mm + HB@120bpm! U/s 9/4 (7+6): 15.9 mm + HB@172 bpm! Please, PLEASE stick this time!!!!
    http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae39/catfreeburg/866da40f5178fed79efe23fc8a4e8a_zps4498a9cc.jpgimageimageimageimage
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