CIO (cry it out)?

Ekg688 · October 2014

For moms that are for letting LO's CIO, at what age did you start?

mcvgal · October 2014

I didn't do CIO, rather my own modified sleep training with DS1. I started that at 10.5 months

bullybutt · October 2014

2 years old

katnipeverclean · October 2014

My pedi says 4 months is the earliest you should try and let a baby CIO. My kid is still eating like a hog at night so I won't be letting her CIO anytime soon. Hunger is a legitimate need.

argonne · October 2014

We will probably do some form of CIO (most likely extinction) when she's about 7 months old. With DS, we did full-on extinction at around 9 months. He only fussed/cried for about 15 minutes the first night and then about 5-10 minutes the next 4 nights. After that, I was able to put him in bed, where he'd babble happily for a bit then go to sleep by himself.

Currently, I let DD fuss (not cry) a little before I go get her. I like to give her a chance to resettle herself, which she does about 20% of the time. With DS, I used to go in at the first peep and I think I made it harder for him to learn to fall asleep on his own.

The key, I think, is already having a solid bedtime routine in place, so they know that it's time to go to sleep. I think that really helps them figure out going to sleep on their own.

TurtleMonsters · October 2014

Not until much older. I heard a difference in cries where it was obvious he was not happy about sleeping as opposed to needing me. i should fess up, I'm not a fan of CIO sleep training. I also think we separate ourselves from our infants too early and expect too much of them to sleep through the night alone in a crib. Not to say if your kid does that, it's wrong...it's great. But if they don't easily do it now, they aren't ready now. Try again when you think they are and it will all just click into place. But take that opinion/experience with a grain of salt. Every baby, parent and the dynamics between the two are different, you have to do what works for you.

FWIW DS had health issues as an infant and was in a lot of pain, though I didn't know until he was 15 mo. I learned to follow his lead and my gut regarding CIO. He'd cry for many many hours on end if left to CIO- trust me I tried it. If I just accepted that I had a difficult sleeper, I would have done a lot of damage just letting him go being so upset for so many hours. He's a great sleeper now, so I trust I did well with it all.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Do you mean for MOTN wakings or any time? LO almost always fusses/cries himself to sleep. He doesn't really fall asleep any other way (he won't hold a pacifier in his mouth and is only now just starting to suck his thumb a little bit). DS1 was the same - it's like they need to release that tension for 5 minutes in order to fall asleep. If he's just fussing or doing a little tired cry I generally leave him because I know he'll fall asleep within a few minutes and going in will stimulate him. If he's really crying I go in and pick him up for a minute to soothe him then put him back down. I usually only have to do that once and he goes to sleep. I don't just ignore him and leave him to cry for 30 minutes until he passes out or anything like that.

I won't do CIO for MOTN wakings unless they're consistently frequent (like every 1-2 hours) when he's closer to a year old. I think DS1 was about 10 months when I did it for him and it just took 2 nights. I wasn't even trying to get him to go 7-7 or anything like that, I was just trying to get him to do a 4 or 5 hour stretch since I knew he was capable of it. It just happened that after that started sleeping 7-5 and once he weaned himself around 14-15 months he did 7-7 on his own.

Ekg688 · October 2014

MONT feedings I get right up and feed her. She EBF so she rarely makes it through the night. DH and I have different views about CIO when it comes to age. If shes fed, changed, and put in her crib (asleep) and wakes up I'm fine with letting her fuss for a bit. DH thinks we should let her cry herself back to sleep. If she was giving us her tired cry, absolutely. If shes screaming her head off, absolutely not. I'm also much more of an attachment parenting type, where DH is not.

mrscutforth · October 2014

With DS, I did this at 6mo. He would eat his bottle and then I would try to rock him and he fought me; kicking, pinching, scratching. So I put him in his bed and let him CIO. It took him about a week to get down to only crying for 15min.

ADC1979 · October 2014

He seems so hungry in MOTN, I'd hate for him to CIO and feel hungry/abandoned. As exhausted as I am, I don't have it in me let him CIO yet. His MOTN feedings are doing weird fluctuating right now, too--over the weekend he wanted to eat every 2 hours during the night, then last night he went down to 1 feeding with 4-5 hours in between. (Momma wants more of where that came from!)

He's a big boy for his age, so I'm hoping that soon he'll be mature enough to STTN. His pediatrician thinks he can, but I can't ignore that hungry wail. I'm so in tune to it that he cried in his sleep at 4am this morning, I climbed out of bed like a robot to go feed him before I realized he was still asleep and was okay!

Jordanjkmr · October 2014

I believe in slowly progressing to sleeping 12 hours straight. That means, if he's been waking up around 3 am for a feeding, and I hear fussing/crying at 1, I just go back to sleep.
I feel if he truly needs a feed, his crying will wake me up again shortly. I start doing this around week 3 already. Of course, that early on the amount of crying I would allow would be minimal. As time goes on, I've 'required' more noise to get me out of bed.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Lori_n_Lior said:

Pretty much everything @LeaLupins said.

When DD1 was a year and also when I got pregnant and felt like poop I decided to see what happened when I didn't get up at night. Turns out she went back to sleep on her own in under 3 minutes.... I've continuously wondered how much earlier I could have done that.

I think of all the sleep I missed out on all because I went to him as soon as he started making noise. I never even really gave him a chance to fall back asleep on his own.

Learned my lesson on that one and I already see how giving DS2 a few minutes before going in often results in him going back to sleep.

bewilderingstar · October 2014

We may start the CIO method at 4mos. It all depends on how L is feeling by then. If he is still colicky or is still eating like a fiend, then obvi the CIO will not work.

kenziebug22 · October 2014

ADC1979 said:

He seems so hungry in MOTN, I'd hate for him to CIO and feel hungry/abandoned. As exhausted as I am, I don't have it in me let him CIO yet. His MOTN feedings are doing weird fluctuating right now, too--over the weekend he wanted to eat every 2 hours during the night, then last night he went down to 1 feeding with 4-5 hours in between. (Momma wants more of where that came from!)

He's a big boy for his age, so I'm hoping that soon he'll be mature enough to STTN. His pediatrician thinks he can, but I can't ignore that hungry wail. I'm so in tune to it that he cried in his sleep at 4am this morning, I climbed out of bed like a robot to go feed him before I realized he was still asleep and was okay!

Exactly this, all of it, lol. I'm another one that doesn't ignore the hungry cry (which is the only time hes up at night and falls right back asleep) but during the day at nap time if hes fussy I let him go and he falls asleep on his own.

chevronseven · October 2014

I honestly thought I would do CIO pretty early but I just can't imagine it now. I will let him fuss a little bit to see if he calms himself down in a minute or two but as soon as it turns into a real cry I jump out of bed and go get him right away. There's so many things he could be telling me he needs. Hungry, too hot, too cold, needs to be upright due to reflux, needs to burp, needs a diaper change, wants a paci, scared from a bad dream, lonely.... All of which are totally legitimate and it is my job as his mother to soothe him. And studies show that responding consistently while they're little will actually help them become more independent down the road as they feel secure knowing you've got their back. Plus being allowed to scream for extended periods is really bad for their brain development at this age and can translate into aggression later on.

Probably after a year when I can easily tell if he is throwing a tantrum or crying to communicate a need, then I will start slowly training to self soothe by gradually increasing how long I will let him cry before stepping in.

nolemomma14 · October 2014

It depends on the situation. If it's the MOTN I can tell the difference between him whining, meaning there's a good chance he will fall back asleep, and his I'm hungry cry!! If it's his cry, I will go right away and feed him. If it's whining, I will give him a few minutes and if he's still awake then I will go in and I can usually just give him his paci and he goes back to sleep.

When we try to get him to sleep for the night, we realized that by rocking him we were over stimulating him and he would really fight us. Or, if he did fall asleep in our arms, he would instantly wake up when we put him down. Now I feed him, and then set him in his crib. He will usually fuss for a few minutes and then fall asleep on his own. It makes me sad that I don't rock him to sleep, I want to be selfish and do it, but I know it just elongates the process of getting him to sleep, and makes him overtired. A few minutes of him fussing in his crib, is way better than the scream fest we were in before.

BBColt78 · October 2014

Never let DD #1 CIO, but she slept 12 straight and never looked back at about 5w old.

This one, not so much. 9 months will be game for me. I say that now, but I probably can't do it.

Nichole8787 · October 2014

chevronseven said:
I honestly thought I would do CIO pretty early but I just can't imagine it now. I will let him fuss a little bit to see if he calms himself down in a minute or two but as soon as it turns into a real cry I jump out of bed and go get him right away. There's so many things he could be telling me he needs. Hungry, too hot, too cold, needs to be upright due to reflux, needs to burp, needs a diaper change, wants a paci, scared from a bad dream, lonely.... All of which are totally legitimate and it is my job as his mother to soothe him. And studies show that responding consistently while they're little will actually help them become more independent down the road as they feel secure knowing you've got their back. Plus being allowed to scream for extended periods is really bad for their brain development at this age and can translate into aggression later on.

Probably after a year when I can easily tell if he is throwing a tantrum or crying to communicate a need, then I will start slowly training to self soothe by gradually increasing how long I will let him cry before stepping in.

I love the way you worded this. I'll be using this argument the next time my mother tells me to move him to the crib and let him cio.

hab83 · October 2014

With DD, we did CIO at 6 months. No one was getting any sleep in the house, and other methods we tried failed because they only stimulated her more. I was also of the mindset that if DD was crying, she must need me, but after reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby, I realized that sleep is also extremely important. She would want to play at all hours of the night when she needed to sleep. And any time I went in to comfort her was just pissing her off because I wouldn't pick her up, or if I did, it was only until she stopped crying and then I would try to put her back in the crib only to have her start wailing again.

It took 3 nights before she would fall asleep on her own with minimal crying or fussing. We only did CIO to get her to fall asleep at bedtime and for naps. We didn't have to do it for night wakings. Once we transitioned to the crib around 5 months and did CIO at 6 months, the night wakings stopped on their own. She did require 1 or 2 MOTN feedings at 6 months.

Once DD started to sleep in her own bed and without requiring sleep crutches like rocking or having to go back in a bazillion times to put a paci back in, we were all so much happier. Hearing her cry was absolutely awful, but it was worth those 3 days of hardship to be a well rested family. Since then, she's been an excellent sleeper.

We will probably do the same with DS since it worked so well with DD. However, his personality is quite different, so I will not be surprised if we have to make adjustments and go with a more gradual approach.

zellatrix · October 2014

I don't let him CIO but I can't say I go running when he cries. If it's the MOTN there is a good five minutes of staring at the ceiling and cussing. And if I'm cooking or something and he's crying in his swing, he can wait a few minutes for me to get done.

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