Fat Mommy Funk

sp1106 · October 2014

The fact of the matter is that I am obese - around 250 at 5'4 (I can wear anywhere from 16-20 depending on the brand). I am well proportioned, but severely over weight. I have been on a gaining and losing rollercoaster over the past year. I lost almost 50 pounds before my wedding putting me at 225, and gained almost all of it back within 3 months. I am almost 5 weeks, and my first prenatal is 3 weeks from now. So, of course, I have hit the internet hard to start trying to learn and prepare as much as I can before the appointment.

In my efforts, it did not take long before I start reading about being overweight and pregnant. I see the B bellies, read about horror stories involving medical staff being rude and crass about patients weight, and of course all the negative side effects that could affect the beautiful baby inside of you. To be honest, it is a complete drag. It might be the heightened emotions - Lord knows I cry at cereal commercials these days and I have cried all the way through typing this post - but I can't help but think of myself more and more negatively the further I read. How did I let myself get this way? How am I going to look to my family and future child? Am I even going to look pregnant? Are the Dr.s going to make me feel worse?

At this point, I don't even know if I am happy to be pregnant, and I can only imagine these feelings getting worse as time goes on (which terrifies me). We planned this pregnancy, and my husband is over the moon. I wanted to start a family with him, and we get to now. But, my self esteem was already at an all time low, and now it just feels like it is plummeting to depths I never realized possible. I just don't know how to get past these feelings.

Any suggestions from those who have been in this situation or have had these feelings before would be much appreciated.

ScarsnStarsX · October 2014

First and foremost i want to say congrats on your pregnancy. It is a blessing no matter what size you are. Women of all different sizes and shapes are capable of having healthy babies. I have been plus size for 2 of my previous pregnancies and now my third and all of my babies have been perfectly healthy. Also, my Doctor has never one made me feel funny about my weight nor should they. It is okay for them to be realistic and point out certain risks of being overweight but not to belittle you over it. I know that it is hard to keep it in persepctive but your body is amazing and will grow your baby. You need to remind yourself that you are beautiful and your babies home for the next 40 weeks. Good luck!

Unknown · October 2014

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BillyHorrible · October 2014

Okay, so there are some pregnancy complications that may occur being overweight. But there are pregnancy complications that may occur regardless of your weight. And many of us have factors that may affect our pregnancies, age, ethnicity, genetics. There's no sense in getting worked up about what may happen, you are just as likely as anyone else to have an uneventful 9 months.

No one should be giving you a hard time about your pre-pregnancy weight or making you feel badly about it. I will say, at your first appointment, they will probably caution you against gaining too much weight during your pregnancy. And that may sting. But many many many of us get that talk. It's not related to you or your weight specifically. So try to keep that in mind.

Other than that, don't focus on how your body looks, but on what it can do. How it can grow and nourish a life.

BrittianyM · October 2014

Frist, congrats is in order for the life you have growing inside you. Second, is you look beautiful in your profile picture! I am also a plus size momma this time round also. Not to worried b/c we can still have healthy babies.

malgosia21s · October 2014

I know how you feel. I'm 215lbs and during my first pregnancy my doctor was complaining about my weigh to a point that I was afraid to see him. I really took care of myself and I was eating well but he would always say "eat less". I don't know why I decided keep him as my OB, but after my healthy baby boy was born I never saw him again. Now I'm pregnant again.

SnatchMonkey · October 2014

sparklegrump said:

I am close to your size and I can honestly say no one in the medical establishment dealing with me during my 3 pregnancies has said one word about my weight. My babies were all born vaginally, extremely healthy and I have had easy recoveries. There are some things that women of our size are more prone to during pregnancy, but so much of that depends on overall health and how you act during your pregnancy too. Good luck. Try not to stress about this and enjoy your pregnancy.

This.

And honestly- there is nothing wrong with getting therapy when you are struggling with an issue. Body image can be a tricky one and it may help. Something to consider.

Nellybaby12015 · October 2014

Plussizebirth.com was the first site I found that actually made me feel better about being fat and having a baby. I hope to find more resources that don't make me feel like a horrible mom bringing a child in this world with extra risks that may or MAY NOT happen or that my child will have to deal with obesity just like me, and if you have been fat all your life, the one thing you hope is not to have fat kids, so all the horror stories i'm sure they can happen, but this site made me realize that its not GONNA happen, it does not have to be our DESTINY!

eadler · October 2014

Sorry you're feeling this way and congratulations on your pregnancy! The only thing I wanted to add is that I felt similarly at the beginning of my first pregnancy, and it ended up being a time in my life when I felt the most beautiful. It's an amazing thing you are doing creating life! Hope you feel better soon.

MrsTwiddy · October 2014

HONEY

You are being way too hard on yourself. I weighed more than you when I got pregnant with my daughter....and everything went fine. Just eat as well as you can, exercise regularly (even if it's just walking), and take care of yourself. All my doctor said at the beginning of that pregnancy was to try to limit my weight gain to 10-15lbs. By the end, I gained close to 40 but guess what? Everything was fine, and I lost it all afterwards. If your doctor or midwife is abusive to you about your weight, you need to find another practice. It is unnecessary and cruel, and just because you're heavy does NOT mean you can't have a healthy pregnancy and delivery. I did have to have a c-section, but my daughter was perfectly strong and healthy. I never had a minute's problem with high blood pressure, gestational diabetes or anything else.

It will be OK. Please be kind to yourself--pregnancy is tough enough without you beating yourself up!

hazelrora · October 2014

Congrats on your pregnancy! I felt very similar to you when I was pregnant. I stressed over appointments in fear of comments on my weight. I weigh about 265 and am 5'9 wearing a size 16/18. I remember constantly googling complications that could occur due to my weight. Don't do that, trust me. Focus on making healthier choices and squeezing in light exercise when you feel up to it. Listen to your doctor but don't stay with a group who isn't professional. Be kind to yourself above all else. In my experience, I was able to have a healthy pregnancy and definitely looked all belly. My doctor/nurses were greatl and never ostracized me because of my size. I did have pregnancy induced hypertension my last week of pregnancy and had to be induced. But that can happen to anyone. My weight did not effect my delivery and I had a much better experience than I expected. Don't feel like your weight will limit your pregnancy experience, enjoy it!

Unburnt · October 2014

This is heartbreaking.

You are not defined by your weight or size and as woman we often feel as if we are. You are pregnant and it's wonderful and I'm sure you will be a great mommy. Don't classify yourself as a fat mommy, ever. Try to be happy with who you are as a person and not concentrate on the what-ifs. H&H 9 months to you!

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