Sleep Help Please!

TJ1979 · October 2014

Sweet P turns 5 months today! I'm still in shock about that. But we are dead in the middle of the 4 month wakeful I guess. Sleep has become so, so difficult. We do plan to sleep train once she is a little older, but I'm not ready for that quite yet. For right now, I just need help with one particular aspect of our sleep situation.

Background: P is 5m, she sleeps in the PNP in our room, in merlin's magic sleep suit, with a dohm sound machine (love that thing!). We put her down around 9:30-10. She used to sleep straight through, then either wake up or I would get her up at 4:30 and put her in bed with me to nurse. I nurse her again before I leave at 6, then she stays in bed until 9.

Issue: For the past 2-3 weeks, she has been waking up right at one hour after I put her down. Which is about a half hour after I lay down for bed, which is absolutely killing me. We have tried everything we can think of... MH gives her a pacifier and turns on her music, I nurse her and lay her back down, we take turns walking and swaying and shushing. But that wake up lasts an hour. Every night. Which leaves me up until 11:30 every night, and I have to wake up at 4:30. And half the time she is waking up again at 1 or 3. This isn't working.

Any ideas? Suggestions? Do I just need to suck it up for another month then try sleep training? Help me, I'm sooo sleepy!

mcgeeva · October 2014

Oh man im sorry. I don't really have any advice except keep sending your DH in. We sleep trained at 4 months but once that wakeful period hit nothing mattered. He would be up every two hours on the dot. I would feed him, send dh in. Only let him cry it out only one night for 10 minutes. Then it was back to the every two hours. We didn't change anything but like everything else he randomly went back to his scheduled. All I can say is keep doing what your doing, send dh in, turn on the sounds machine so your lo knows it's sleepy time. That's all we do, pacifier, sleep sheep that's it. Never pick up.

TJ1979 · October 2014

If I didn't love you Ducky, I'd hate you a little bit right now.

mcgeeva · October 2014

TJ1979 said:

If I didn't love you Ducky, I'd hate you a little bit right now.

lol right! My friend is about to have her third baby in two weeks and both her kids slept 100% through the night by 6 weeks. WTF?!!!!

mdiblasi10 · October 2014

I don't have any advice, but wanted to offer hugs. I hope she gets through this wakeful period soon!

jesselayne8 · October 2014

Are you nursing her to sleep at the beginning of the night? The only way I got rid of that one hour wake up was to stop nursing to sleep.

@Ducky719‌ - my first was a champion. #2 didn't let me sleep until he was 11 months old.

Robeano · October 2014

Ugh, I hate sleeping issues. It sounds like you are doing everything right.

I do have a book that talks about sleep training before six months, it gives a different approach so as not to potentially harm attatchment. Maybe look at research for early sleep training?

I am a huge believer in parental sleep. Lack of sleep can actually be dangerous to you and your child. The big question is, is this liveable right now? Are you able to function normally? If you answer no, something has to change.

Best of luck! Please keep me updated!

TJ1979 · October 2014

jesselayne8 said:

Are you nursing her to sleep at the beginning of the night? The only way I got rid of that one hour wake up was to stop nursing to sleep. @Ducky719‌ - my first was a champion. #2 didn't let me sleep until he was 11 months old.

I have been nursing her to sleep. I was going to cut that at the same time that I sleep trained. But that's something to look at. Looking back, it does seem like her better nights of sleep have actually been nights that she was fussing too hard to nurse so I just laid her down. I don't think she actually gets much milk from that bedtime nursing session, I think it's mostly comfort and habit. Why is it so hard to think about quitting nursing to sleep? I did it with E till she was 10 months, and that's when we sleep trained and she started sttn. Hello, correlation.

Thanks @jesselayne8. I'll give it a shot this week.

TJ1979 · October 2014

Robeano said:

Ugh, I hate sleeping issues. It sounds like you are doing everything right. I do have a book that talks about sleep training before six months, it gives a different approach so as not to potentially harm attatchment. Maybe look at research for early sleep training? I am a huge believer in parental sleep. Lack of sleep can actually be dangerous to you and your child. The big question is, is this liveable right now? Are you able to function normally? If you answer no, something has to change. Best of luck! Please keep me updated!

I guess it depends on your definition of liveable! Haha. I mean, I'm still alive, so yeah, it's obv liveable. But is it pleasant or ideal? Not even close. What book do you have?

mcgeeva · October 2014

TJ1979 said:

jesselayne8 said:

Are you nursing her to sleep at the beginning of the night? The only way I got rid of that one hour wake up was to stop nursing to sleep. @Ducky719‌ - my first was a champion. #2 didn't let me sleep until he was 11 months old.

I have been nursing her to sleep. I was going to cut that at the same time that I sleep trained. But that's something to look at. Looking back, it does seem like her better nights of sleep have actually been nights that she was fussing too hard to nurse so I just laid her down. I don't think she actually gets much milk from that bedtime nursing session, I think it's mostly comfort and habit. Why is it so hard to think about quitting nursing to sleep? I did it with E till she was 10 months, and that's when we sleep trained and she started sttn. Hello, correlation.

Thanks @jesselayne8. I'll give it a shot this week.

I was just going to add I still breastfeed as well and stopped nursing to sleep two months ago. That way I give him extra breast milk and I know that he is finishing his bottle before bed. It gives me a little break so my husband can help do that feed before bed when he is home. So if he wakes an hour later I know he isn't hungry but just fussing and getting comfortable so I can send my husband in to rub his back and put the paci back in his mouth.

phishgirl29 · October 2014

Hugs. We were wakeful from 4-6 months. I have no advice. It's not easy!

TJ1979 · October 2014

Well. I didn't nurse her to sleep last night. She fussed for about 2 minutes, then went to sleep on her own. Then woke up 2 hours later. I guess that's better than 1 hour later?

But I was still too tired from 2 weeks without MH's help, so I just put her in bed with me after that wake up. I guess it's my own fault, I'm just prolonging her bad habits.

Thanks for the advice and the hugs everyone.

IBackBevo · October 2014

We have had a sleep regression since I went back to work in September. Ds2 is ebf, too. My pedi told me to try Ferber, but I don't want to do that until he gets older. Ferber worked great with ods, but he was nearly 2 when we did it. Not 5.5 months.

Robeano · October 2014

Well I finally had a chance to get on my laptop instead of my mobile. The book is called Sleep Sense. I have the PDF if you're interested. It's really good and I think it would be helpful.

TJ1979 · October 2014

Robeano said:

Well I finally had a chance to get on my laptop instead of my mobile. The book is called Sleep Sense. I have the PDF if you're interested. It's really good and I think it would be helpful.

I'd love to @Robeano! Thanks so much.

Robeano · October 2014

Done. And on the plus side, the book isn't that long. I read it in a night the first time around.

TJ1979 · October 2014

Thanks!! You are the best.

Cwhitaker27 · October 2014

@TJ1979‌ just a thought..... Can you put her down for bed earlier? Like if she has a catnap prior to bedtime try putting her down at that time instead? Sounds like she's overtired.

TJ1979 · October 2014

I've wondered about that @Cwhitaker27‌. But she wakes up from her evening cat nap after 30 min, and I can't get her back to sleep. I don't think she can get enough calories in that time. She nurses 3 times in the evening before I put her to bed now. If she went to bed at 6 when her nap usually is, I wouldn't see her at all, and would basically be EPing.

TJ1979 · October 2014

Got kicked out of the box. I'd rather her reverse cycle and me be up several times a night than not see her.

Damn being a working mom.

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