Family watching baby after it is born "rates"

niesp · October 2014

Not going to lie. This board is getting on my last nerve today, so I decided to perhaps SS myself and get a few opinions on family watching the baby after its born.(EDIT: In no way are the regulars killing my love of the board, it is the the others). I will return to work 6 or so weeks after the birth and my SIL has offered to watch LO during the day. I could not be more thrilled with this, I love her! As we were discussing payment she insists on none, but I feel it is required! So here is my question: What do you all think is an appropriate rate to pay family members for watching your children? Obviously I know each is different, but I would love to get some general ranges! Hate me for maybe being a SS, but today, I don't care, I need unbiased information!

BigAppleBiggerBelly · October 2014

If she won't accept money, maybe pay her in another way - grocery or gas gift cards, housekeeper, etc.

niesp · October 2014

@saltbox40‌ it isn't the regulars I am currently hating

whiterabbit5 · October 2014

niesp said:

Not going to lie. This board is getting on my last nerve today, so I decided to perhaps SS myself and get a few opinions on family watching the baby after its born.

Do you really think anyone is going to give you helpful advice when you start out with that.

Quote box fail.

niesp · October 2014

@whiterabbit5‌ please read response to @saltbox40‌

It's the Sex guesses and other nonsense happening that's killing me.

ElizabethSwann · October 2014

I wasn't going to give advice since we are on your nerves but i guess i will anyways.

I watch my niece one day a week, and i don't get paid. Shes my niece. But, what i would suggest is when the baby gets older, make sure you bring food for them or at least money for food. Just extra courtesy is nice. I doubt she will accept payment.

jk3610 · October 2014

ElizabethSwann said:
I wasn't going to give advice since we are on your nerves but i guess i will anyways.

I watch my niece one day a week, and i don't get paid. Shes my niece. But, what i would suggest is when the baby gets older, make sure you bring food for them or at least money for food. Just extra courtesy is nice. I doubt she will accept payment.

I second this. If it was me watching my niece/nephew/grandkids when i'm older, i wouldn't accept payment. It's family.

jk3610 · October 2014

I'm in the same boat @scoutfinch13‌! She has sort of an older way of thinking that i don't want to rub off!

DixieNormous330 · October 2014

I think you could reciprocate by giving them date nights - if they have kids watch them and give a gift card to a restaurant or movie certificates.

Also grocery/gas/housekeeping services would be appreciated I'm sure.

niesp · October 2014

@ElizabethSwann‌, do you think that getting a gift card or something like the others suggested is something you would appreciate because you watch her? Or is it better to just leave it at food etc. I was planning on providing all of the food for her anyway, but I just want to make sure she realizes how much it is appreciated.

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babyluv1234 · October 2014

my mom is quiting her job and moving to our home to take care of this LO. I know she would do it for free but my husband and i want to pay her so she can have money for her things. we are saving a tons than if we hired a nanny or daycare and with our crazy hours and commute we are happy baby will be at home in great hands.

ElizabethSwann · October 2014

niesp said:

@ElizabethSwann‌, do you think that getting a gift card or something like the others suggested is something you would appreciate because you watch her? Or is it better to just leave it at food etc. I was planning on providing all of the food for her anyway, but I just want to make sure she realizes how much it is appreciated.

Well, i mean who doesn't love a gift card? But there are other ways to show appreciation, just in your attitude, ya know? Its easy to feel the appreciation fade when it becomes part of a daily routine, so just little stuff to know how much you appreciate it, would be great.

RIngReady · October 2014

A friend of mine has her SIL watch her 15 month old three days a week. The SIL also refused payment, but my friend just felt that was using her SIL generosity and wouldn't do it.

My friend decided to pay for a housekeeper to come clean SILs house 2x a month and periodically will take them out to dinner or ship gift cards in the babe's lunch box.

She said she tries to spend about $250 a month, including the housekeeper, which is still way under daycare fees and while it might be unnecessary spending it makes her feel much more comfortable.

niesp · October 2014

@RIngReady‌ great ideas! And a great starting price point!

CivilMommy · October 2014

we paid the ILs about $5/hour for watching our infant 3 days a week. The didn't want to be paid, but they live on a fixed retirement income and gave us so much of their free time.

We gave them a flat $500/month which worked out to the roughly $5/hour.

We had #1 in daycare, and #2 with them for 2 months until my FIL started cancer treatments...then we put #2 in daycare as well.

lacey0482 · October 2014

My sister watches my daughter for us every weekday from 7:30-5 and has since I went back to work at 12 weeks. We pay her $125/week and send lunch and snacks, and of course pay for any extra things they do as well. Still well under the rate for daycare. Of course when she has other obligations and my parents watch her instead, they insist we pay them nothing, but usually I'll just pay for their dinner or something those days to make up for it.

mrsalvidrez · October 2014

My mom will be watching LO the majority of the time while I'm at work if DH is also at work or school. I am not going to pay her because there is no way she will let me, and maybe this is a weird outlook but I would feel more obligated to pay my SIL rather than my mom. However, if SIL is refusing then she really must just wanna help you out and isn't looking for a way to earn some extra money so I would take her up on it. I can see how you feel obligated to pay her though. Sorry that this comment is really no help at all, just thought I would share that I relate with family watching LO.

picklesx · October 2014

My parents watch DS every Sunday and have done so since I returned to work when DS was 6 weeks old. They would never dream of accepting payment for watching him. They don't even like to think of it as "babysitting" but rather having just a day to spend time with him. They adore him and he adores them! Anyway, we "repay" them by taking them out to dinner or picking up things for them now and then. We just took them to Disneyworld with us and covered expenses for rooms, park admission, and meals (except the few meals that my father insisted they pick up the tab for...stubborn man). They were super grateful and I plan on making it an annual thing to invite them on vacation with us as a thank you for all that they do for us.

abiatkinson · October 2014

It's one thing to not pay for just an occasional few hours or something. But to me for a regular, everyday babysitting "job", you just really need to pay no matter what they say.

alexeleni · October 2014

^^This, exactly. I like the gift card or housekeeper idea!

schwabab · October 2014

Hire a house keeper, make a weekly casserole, throw together a meal she can stick into her crock pot, gift cards.

lindsayanne14 · October 2014

My mom watches DS four days a week and we don't pay her. For Christmas this past year we gave her a spa getaway weekend for her and a friend. I know she really appreciated the getaway and we were happy to spoil her a little to thank her for everything she does for us.

Duffgurl · October 2014

Gift baskets are awesome with items she uses or gift cards as others suggested. Maybe even just take her for lunch and manicures and pedicures.

knlouis · October 2014

Count your blessings my MIL charged us to wtach her grand kids and MORE than daycare at that...so we put them in daycare. Now we moved b/c he's in the Army and she misses them....her loss.

Def show your SIL that you are very greatful with little gifts like the other gals here have said.

fiscally3 · October 2014

My mom watched my oldest 3 days a week while I worked. We did put him in a drop off daycare for half a day to give her a break as he got older. We did about $300 month in giftcards at first, then dropped it to $200 when we started the drop off daycare (which was about $25 a day). I also packed lunch for him everyday, and tried to provide toys, crib sheets, bottler brush, spare clothes etc (obviously diapers, wipes, and formula we paid out of pocket - which we had shipped to her directly with Amazon Prime). As he got older we also upped our membership to museums & gardens to the packages that would allow "nannies" to take the kids, so that she "free" things to do with him.