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Toddlers: 24 Months+
ChelsiAnn13
member
Having a hard time balancing priorities
ChelsiAnn13
member
Hi everyone. I don't post often and I'm usually on baby names. I'm not even she this is the right place to post this.
Background --
I'm a single mom of a three year old. I moved back in to my parents house with her and my fiancé at the time when my boss wouldn't let me pump. My parents told me to just quit, and since I Was the breadwinner they would support us and do one better and send me back to school. It was an offer to good to refuse. I am blessed. (They adopted me at two so it was a chance for them to experience the infant stage and they didn't think they would ever get grandchildren)
Anyways I have since broken up with my fiancé because he was always cheating and never helped out... Yadda Yadda. I have no hard feelings and have since met someone who treats eevee and I better then I thought possible. He even helps me clean (we don't love together since I'm still at my parents) and tells people she is his daughter. I'm a bit smitten still abd it's been over a year lol.
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**
I am now a sophomore at an art college and I love it. But here in lie my problem. Art school means every assignment is a project and I can do little to none of it at home. My parents help me all the time but during midterms and finals I am sometimes there 24 hours. And even then it's hard to get my projects done. I've noticed since this last midterms I am still having to put more and more hours on. And I enjoy it and I need to do it for our future. But I was a stay at home mom until she was two (I was still nursing until 2.5) so being away from her this much is really hard. She's with my parents and goes to a preschool she really likes and is happy at home but I feel like an awful mom. This last midterm I hadn't seen her in almost 48 hours. I didn't finish my assignment until 5 am, I have to leave my house by 6:30 to get to my am class on time (it's a 30 min drive with out traffic) but I went him and climbed in bed with her for the hour or so I had anyways.
Am I a horrible mom?
Background --
I'm a single mom of a three year old. I moved back in to my parents house with her and my fiancé at the time when my boss wouldn't let me pump. My parents told me to just quit, and since I Was the breadwinner they would support us and do one better and send me back to school. It was an offer to good to refuse. I am blessed. (They adopted me at two so it was a chance for them to experience the infant stage and they didn't think they would ever get grandchildren)
Anyways I have since broken up with my fiancé because he was always cheating and never helped out... Yadda Yadda. I have no hard feelings and have since met someone who treats eevee and I better then I thought possible. He even helps me clean (we don't love together since I'm still at my parents) and tells people she is his daughter. I'm a bit smitten still abd it's been over a year lol.
---
**
I am now a sophomore at an art college and I love it. But here in lie my problem. Art school means every assignment is a project and I can do little to none of it at home. My parents help me all the time but during midterms and finals I am sometimes there 24 hours. And even then it's hard to get my projects done. I've noticed since this last midterms I am still having to put more and more hours on. And I enjoy it and I need to do it for our future. But I was a stay at home mom until she was two (I was still nursing until 2.5) so being away from her this much is really hard. She's with my parents and goes to a preschool she really likes and is happy at home but I feel like an awful mom. This last midterm I hadn't seen her in almost 48 hours. I didn't finish my assignment until 5 am, I have to leave my house by 6:30 to get to my am class on time (it's a 30 min drive with out traffic) but I went him and climbed in bed with her for the hour or so I had anyways.
Am I a horrible mom?
You will never know how much you mean to me my little jelly Bean.
Mommy loves you Eevee!
<a href="http://s834.photobucket.com/albums/zz270/cpali/?action=view
Mommy loves you Eevee!
<a href="http://s834.photobucket.com/albums/zz270/cpali/?action=view
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Having a hard time balancing priorities
Mommy loves you Eevee!
<a href="http://s834.photobucket.com/albums/zz270/cpali/?action=view
Mommy loves you Eevee!
<a href="http://s834.photobucket.com/albums/zz270/cpali/?action=view
I am married with a 2 year old. I work full-time and do 12hr shifts, so I have 3-4 days off each week. I went back to school part-time, distance this fall. It's for a degree I technically need for my position and was promoted to the position with the understanding that I would work towards this degree. My manager and executive director are supportive and have said they don't care how long I take to complete as long as I'm working towards it. To them it's just a piece of paper, but something the funder requires.
All of that said, it means managing my time really carefully. When I have a lot to do for school, I send my DS to daycare for an extra day on one of my days off. I've actually been pretty impressed with my ability to get things done quickly and early, when I have the time to do it. It's been about 5.5 years since I was in university so I was nervous about how I'd transition back.
I do feel guilty occasionally, but the degree will be useful in the future and keeps some doors open for me. I also consider that while I do play, engage with, and am present with my son on my days off, he has way more fun playing with the other kids at day care so an extra day there is certainly not to his detriment. I also consider the fact that he'll be starting school part-time next year. Soon enough he'll have his own schedule and things that don't revolve around me so it will be easier to make some of those sacrifices with time.
Just remember your intentions. It's not to spend time away from your LO or avoid responsibilities at home, it's to better your future and build a stable life for you and your LO. Your LO has a loving and supportive home life and will one day appreciate the time and effort you took to builg the life will you have. Don't feel guilty for that!
When you have some time off in between semesters make it special time to spend with your daughter. It isn't quantity of time you spend with a child, it is the quality of time. When you are with her, try to give her that extra hug, read that story one more time, listen to her about her day, etc. And once school is over, you will get back to a normal schedule again.
7lbs 13oz 20 inches long
When I was your daughter's age, my mom worked full time AND went to school full time. She worked as a nurse in a hospital, which meant sometimes she'd be there for multiple days straight depending on her shift. And she went to nursing school in a different state, so days she was in school she was gone before I woke up and home after I went to bed.
I grew up and am a relatively well adjusted adult. I don't have any memories that don't involve my mother at that time, so it's not like I remember her being absent. And I remember as a young adult being so in awe of everything she did, how hard she worked, how she was able to do so much.