August 2014 Moms

Sex: How are you fitting it in?

I was cleared for sex two and a half weeks ago and we have done it all of one time...which was awkward and not that great since it hurt a bit and DH was trying to be careful. Before and during pregnancy we averaged 1-2x per week...normally in the am. Usually on a weekend day when we could take our time, and then a quicky on a weekday am...we used to get up at the same time. DH got weekly BJs during the last couple weeks of pregnancy and my recovery time so he has not been deprived.
Now we dont get up at the same time, or LO is up, and LO is mostly awake from the time we get home in the afternoon until bedtime, when we are all exhausted.
I feel like our marriage is overall adjusting well to baby, but not our sex life. I guess we need to be more intentional. ...thinking about telling DH to wake me when he wakes up tomorrow!

Re: Sex: How are you fitting it in?

  • We do nights. Usually, we take the opportunity when both kids are asleep at night early enough in the evening. DS is usually in bed between 7-8, it's DD that is the wild card.
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    BFP with #2- Sept 6, 2013  EDD May 20, 2014   MC Sept 26, 2013 @ 6 wks 2 days

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  • I think this double entendre was intentional. 

    We're not really...physically or time wise. There's been other hanky panky though so DH doesn't seem too sad. 

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  • @SherryBaby2014‌ Nope...not intentional....but has made for some funny comments!
  • My husband and I have been having sex since 2 weeks PP pretty regularly, I didn't tear though and felt pretty good down there right away, didn't wanna wait lol

    :P
  • I get officially cleared on Friday, but felt pretty good at 4.5 so we've had sex a couple of times. It's definitely different. He says it feels the same.. Feels weird to me. Both times we had sex and every other time we fooled around it was when J was already down for the night.. But thats unpredictable, so we are find to have to get better about random times.. Which is now difficult because DH's 14 yr old DD just moved in with us
  • Too tired & not in mood (thank you breast feeding hormones) so we've only done it a couple of times. Poor SO.
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  • We do it once a week when DS goes to sleep. Anyone else finding it kinda painful? Hoping it gets better soon. I'm breastfeeding so I know that plays a part.
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    Me 28 DH 30

    After 4+ years TTC

    FET #2 = DS Madden Jeffery <3 July 29, 2014 <3
  • We fit what we can in when LO is napping on the weekends. 
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  • Nap time and bed time. 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

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  • Once DS does to bed for the night. Although we've only had sex once ( fooled around a few times though) and it was the day I was cleared. The next day I got my period and it's just been lingering. Ughhh.
    *************
    First BFP: 12/16/13
    EDD: 08/23/14
    Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
  • Night time, I keep a bra on, it's usually pretty quick. Sometimes on the weekend we'll get a chance while lo is napping.
    Southern California
    Together for six years, married for five
    BFP 12/06/13 - EDD 8/11/14 
    BABY BOY born 8/14/14!

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  • So I'm not the only one - I've been keeping a shirt or bra on too.
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  • I'm not
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers PitaPata - Personal picturePitaPata Dog tickers Teacher 2007 * Wife 2011 * Proud A14 Momma * Seattle, WA
  • During the day when DD1 is napping and if LO happens to go down at the same time. It works out to about once a week, and that's just going to have to be enough for a while, because by the time both kids are down at night I'm just too tired. Actual penetration just started, but before that it was blowies and such. DH recently bought me a bunch of toys, I think to get me more interested, but mostly I just take advantage of them during personal time in between our weekly sessions.
  • atlgirl88 said:

    Are any other BFing moms worried about leaking during?  I've been kind of paranoid about it so far (not that I think DH would care).

    My boobs haven't leaked while fooling around.. But (tmi warning) DH was sucking on my nipples last time, but then quit.. So maybe he got some BM? he didn't say anything though.
  • We tried once..and it hurt so bad we stopped. Besides lube..anyone else have this happen?
  • Wow I feel like a bad wife now. Def not a priority in our house. We've had sex like twice since I was okayed 4 weeks ago . . . Way too tired for that right now. Not worried though, we will return to it soon enough.
  • I haven't initiated at all yet, but only because DH does first. Is usually early in the morning, but that's "bedtime" for him. It usually goes okay, but we had a fail the other day. I don't know if he was too bone tired or what but he couldn't finish. And I started to hurt.
                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

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  • We've had sex several times since 3w6d pp and I'm currently 7w3d pp. It's been great since the first time we did it and I could seriously do it everyday, but I can't get DH to do it. I tried to start something the last two nights and he threw out an excuse each time. I'll try again tonight and either 3rd time will be the charm or I'll strike out. If he throws out another excuse then he'll just be rejected the next few times he tries to start anything. I can play that game too! >:)
  • Not happening. DH seems too stressed from work to be interested, which is just as well since our sleep schedules are off from each other
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  • Puns aside, I'm actually a little concerned about my sex life for the first time ever. DH and I have been together since 2004, so we've definitely had our peaks and valleys with sexual frequency... Its never phased us if we go a month without sex, we just pick right back up when our lives are more relaxed. We've had spells up to maybe 2.5 months before pregnancy, no biggie. However, it has been since early pregnancy for us-which is almost a year. DH and I talked about it, but no action yet. I didn't really think it would be an issue since we've had long spells before... But I underestimated the emotional toll that this stretch would take, I guess. LO is asleep by 9pm; so it's not a problem of opportunity. :( I guess this happens to some people after children. Hope we figure it out soonish...
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers PitaPata - Personal picturePitaPata Dog tickers Teacher 2007 * Wife 2011 * Proud A14 Momma * Seattle, WA
  • We had a big disconnect emotionally about 3 weeks pp. DH felt he wasn't getting enough attention and I felt I wasn't getting enough help but also wasn't exactly letting anyone help. We have finally gotten past the emotional and tried sex a couple of times. Can't seem to fit it in either way. LO naps longest in the am when DH is at work. Last time we tried 3 times in one day but every time LO started crying so we gave up. I'm OK with not having sex right now because I'm not officially cleared and honestly not in the mood. dh is learning that it's going to take a few tries to fit in time wise and physically. Now that we are emotionally back on track I think the rest will follow.
  • We do it every other day or close to that... It hurt so bad the first few times but it gets better each time. Usually at night when we put DS in his RnP... He usually is quiet even if awake and will just chill till we are done.
  • trawas01 said:

    Tired, breastfeeding and still bleeding from my IUD being put in =  not much happening here

    This is me. The IUD has made for very effective birth control so far! Dr said it should ease up after 3 months, but didn't for her until she stopped bfing, ugh.
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  • Puns aside, I'm actually a little concerned about my sex life for the first time ever. DH and I have been together since 2004, so we've definitely had our peaks and valleys with sexual frequency... Its never phased us if we go a month without sex, we just pick right back up when our lives are more relaxed. We've had spells up to maybe 2.5 months before pregnancy, no biggie. However, it has been since early pregnancy for us-which is almost a year. DH and I talked about it, but no action yet. I didn't really think it would be an issue since we've had long spells before... But I underestimated the emotional toll that this stretch would take, I guess. LO is asleep by 9pm; so it's not a problem of opportunity. :( I guess this happens to some people after children. Hope we figure it out soonish...

    Yikes. Hope you guys figure it out soon and get back on track. Have you tried initiating?
  • @chase16‌ I usually initiate, but I just haven't been interested. I guess that would explain my feeling of concern... I'm not used to being turned down. Now he's not interested-when Preston goes to bed, DH just wants to enjoy his whiskey and violent tv shows, heh. We're going on vacation to FL next week. Eve n though LO will be with us, DH should be more relaxed. We'll see!
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers PitaPata - Personal picturePitaPata Dog tickers Teacher 2007 * Wife 2011 * Proud A14 Momma * Seattle, WA
  • Woohoo, I'm not in a sex-less marriage! I guess there's a difference btwn suggesting and REALLY initiating. Nothing that a few candles and some wine can't fix. :)
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers PitaPata - Personal picturePitaPata Dog tickers Teacher 2007 * Wife 2011 * Proud A14 Momma * Seattle, WA
  • Woohoo, I'm not in a sex-less marriage! I guess there's a difference btwn suggesting and REALLY initiating. Nothing that a few candles and some wine can't fix. :)

    Yay!!!
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