I think I figured out my toddler! (For now)

ambmama · October 2014

So lately everything with T has been a fight. Monday morning was one of the worst we've ever had, screaming all morning, fighting diaper changes, literally wrestling him into clothes and shoes to get out the door. I cried on my way back home wondering what the heck I was supposed to do. But I've started listening and realized he wants an opinion! An amazing thing happened Sunday - twice I asked him if he would lay down so I could change his diaper and he laid right down and let me. He's NEVER done that! I was amazed but didn't think much of it after the terrible morning Monday, but tonight I've realized he wants to have a say! When I ask him to do something (can you lay down so I can change your diaper, can I put your clothes on, can you throw this away?) I get no argument! When I force him, though, it's absolute hell! Tonight was the most peaceful night we've had in a long time because I just relaxed and listened to my child. Right before bed I asked him to give kisses instead of told him and he did (sounds funny, but normally I say give daddy a kiss and he won't. Tonight I said will you please give daddy kisses? And he did). He hates giving up his sippy, so I asked him to please trade it with daddy for his goofy stuffed animal - and after some hesitation he did! I also asked him to please brush his teeth (I usually do it for him and he hates it) and he did great and even have me the toothbrush back after I asked a few times nicely. No real point other than I've realized why I've had so many issues lately. I have a very opinionated and smart little guy who wants to feel like he has a choice! I hope this helps another mama because it was a huge realization for me. I didn't know we were already at this point!

Mom2anAngel2 · October 2014

That's awesome! It really is amazing how they have such strong opinions at such a young age. I asked DS if he wanted to take a "tubby" tonight and he put his finger to his chin and said "ummm.....no!" I nearly fell out of my chair with laughter.

DCKate · October 2014

Good for you, lady:). The same has been helpful with DD. Getting her dressed in the morning was a screaming wrestling match. I couldn't understand what her problem was all of the sudden. Then, I started putting out two different outfits for her to choose from. Now she loves it! We do it now with things like snacks and it really works!

Glad you had a good day!

sarums4 · October 2014

Yes to all of this! And I just thought to look it up, too--I think our little ones are beginning their next big Wonder Week/development leap. Several people online have hypothesized that even though the published 'wonder weeks' end at about 17 months, they've observed another big one at about 22 months. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that maybe that's what this tantrum business we all seem to be encountering this week is all about

bennikki · October 2014

We just discussed this in DS's ECFE class. The teacher talked about giving kids a choice of 2 things. They feel like they have some control, and we obviously can give them 2 choices we approve of. She did also say that, most of the time kids pick the second choice, so if you'd like to try and sway them a little bit, make the choice you'd prefer be the second one.

jobiann · October 2014

It is amazing, they are not even 2 yet but they have a strong opinion and are such little people. J too responds much better to asking then telling. He will even pick an option, they are not babies anymore!!

So glad you had a good night, hope things continue to go smoother for you!

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