Sleep Training at 18 months - Help

NYMOM101511 · September 2014

My little one has been sleeping with us pretty much since shes been born because i breastfed, and I'm a working mom. It was just much easier for all of us to sleep together and get a good night sleep. Now im pregnant with number two, and although i love cuddling with my little one. I think it's time she starts sleeping in her crib. I've tried to do this, and stay with her until she falls alseep. If she wakes up i try and rub her back, but she cries to the point that she cant breath. I cant take seeing her like that so i end up picking her up and bringing her back in my bed. Sometimes i feel like i just have to give up and wait until i cant talk to her and she understands and maybe right now its a bad time. What are your thoughts?

NYMOM101511 · September 2014

what is a lovey?

vvvvvfee · September 2014

a lovey is a baby-safe, soft comfort object, like a small stuffed animal or blanket.

NYMOM101511 · September 2014

aww ok, thanks, yes she has plenty of those.

Emerald27 · September 2014

We skipped the crib and bought DS a twin mattress for the floor next to our bed. I put him to bed there just like I always did when he was in our bed, and then I would get into our bed. If he woke during the night and needed me, I'd pop down to his bed and snuggle him back to sleep.

Once he became used to that, we moved his bed across the room, and then into his own room. It was a gradual transition, but a gentle one, and it worked well for us. Just wanted to offer another alternative to the crib!

dufferoo · September 2014

Sorry I'm not a regular on this board, but if you're really into attachment parenting, I think Dr. Sears would say that if everybody's getting decent sleep, then consider letting your daughter continue to sleep with you until she's deveopmentally/emotionally ready to handle sleeping on her own For my daughter, that was at about age 2; for my son, he never liked sleeping with us, so wr put him in his own crib from week 2 (but did go in to respond to all his cries- he learned to sleep through the night at about age 1). Point being, I don't think you necessarily need to move your daughter out of your bed just because you're having another. But seriously, do what feels right.

cyprissa · September 2014

@dufferoo‌ if something isn't working for mama, it's ok to change it. You can gently encourage kids to make changes and still be AP. I second the suggestion for a floor bed. That's what we did with DS1 who slept with me until 16 months. He always hated his crib but was ok with a bed.

dufferoo · September 2014

Totally agree, @cyprissa‌ ! Just thought I'd present the other option

I know a lot of moms worry that if they don't do something about co-sleeping now, that they might be stuck doing it forever, so I thought I'd offer my personal examples. But if there is anything I've learned from attachment parenting at all, it's to always trust one's mommy instincts! What worked for me won't necessarily work for someone else, and vice versa.

cyprissa · September 2014

@dufferoo sorry if I'm touchy...feel like guilt is everywhere lately IRL so I think I read into your post.

dufferoo · September 2014

@cyprissa no prob, and no guilt intended! Just trying to answer her question about others' thoughts on if she should give up and wait it out. I've always been a more go-with-the-flow parent, mainly because I'm too exhausted to instigate change, and sometimes that's worked swimmingly and sometimes it's totally bitten me in the ass

Also, mom guilt sucks!!

andreaoilrn · September 2014

We are doing the additional bed method and foregoing the crib entirely. Our daughter is hysterical every time she is in it. She cries and is inconsolable once I snuggle her she's ok, but the second I even lean towards the crib she clings to be and is sobbing again. I'm going to get her a full mattress and nurse her to sleep and then sneak away to do chores etc. Good luck momma

GillianB32 · September 2014

dufferoo said:

Also, mom guilt sucks!!

@dufferoo true!

Mrs.AmyDylan · September 2014

We skipped the crib and went straight to a twin mattress at 14-16mo. We put it in her room with fun sheets.

We did all kinds of fun stuff in it for awhile...books, nursing, cuddles. Then we started naps in her big girl bed!

One week when DH was gone for work we both slept in her big girl bed. The following week I snuck out, but finished the night when she woke up in her bed.

She has been in her big girl bed for about 6-8mo. I still nurse her side-lying to sleep. If she wakes MOTN I nurse and snuggle, then slip out when she is settled.

The whole transition took about 2-3mo. Then holy cow, she finally slept through the night at 16mo!!!

Good luck! Skip the crib. Sounds like she hates it, then you don't have to crib transition

kimmarie1105 · October 2014

Lurking here. I'm in the same boat as OP, pregnant and I know I won't be comfortable soon with DS in my bed. Also, not comfortable with the idea of newborn in our room and DS. I would have thought that the big boy bed would make it harder because he can just get out? DS goes to bed in his crib with no problem but wakes up and ends up in our bed. Mainly because we both work FT and it's just easier. I think my biggest problem is I still rock him to sleep. Then he wakes up and doesn't know how to put himself back down. He is 18 months old. Obviously CIO is not an option. Any advice?

NYMOM101511 · October 2014

I'm the one who originally posted, and I'm still fighting this battle. I'm ready to give up, and hope for the best, when my newborn comes.

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