OPP Tuesday BABIES, PREGNANCIES, CHILDREN MENTIONED

theholmanherd · October 2014

Let it all out.

Chasity08 · October 2014

Honestly today mine is just wanting my pregnant co-worker to just have her stinkin kid already so that I don't have to look at/hear about her pregnancy any longer. UGH.

dancerspose · October 2014

@rainbowbridge14 I hate when mandatory readings are triggers like that! So sorry, hopefully you're only discussing that play this week, and then will be on to something else.

I have no one but myself to blame for my OPP grumpiness this week. DH told me on Friday that we was going to see a friend of his yesterday who is expecting his first with his GF (unplanned, of course). I had told DH months ago when I wasn't so frustrated that I would make them a gift. So, I spent all weekend knitting a baby blanket for them. It was a fairly soul-sucking exercise. Then, to top it off, DH ended up not even seeing his friend yesterday! So now I've got this wrapped, homemade baby blanket sitting on my table.

As a note, DH didn't demand (or really even request) that I follow through on my old promise to make them something. I felt badly because we blew off their shower and I've basically hidden myself away from any pregnant friends or friends with newborns the past few months. I thought it would be a nice gesture both to DH that I wasn't going completely insane and our friends. Silly me...

dominicandreamer · October 2014

That does not sound fun at all @wazzu08.

@Rainbowbridge, seems like there are a lot of girls here who have pregnant employees at their RE. You'd think they'd have a rule about it, then again I'm sure that would be discrimination. Sorry you have to see her each time.

I have two as well. We have a friend who's going to be a first time grandmother from her son and a tramp of a GF (well they both are). When DH first heard the news his first thought was "do you think they'll consider adoption?".

The second is an acquaintance that got his GF pregnant with her 4th his first. They're both on government assistance as it is, don't try to find jobs, live with his parents but are overstaying their welcome, are constantly FBing their crazy spending habits and don't take care of the 3 they already have. To top it off, the baby was born this weekend and (what I can gather from FB) named their kid to intentionally have the initials PBR. Seriously!

BunnyBerry · October 2014

@rainbowbridge14 I am so sorry you have to read that. Hopefully the discussion focuses on other aspects of the story and ends quickly.

@shafwilson Oh my goodness, that is so sad. I'm so sorry. I hope that love you put into that blanket comes back to you tenfold with your own LO soon.

@wazzu08 I'm so sorry. Don't be afraid to take care of yourself next time and send regrets for a shower!

@dominicandreamer That's so upsetting.

I had a cryfest on Sunday because some weirdo said something about Ebola being "God's plan." Um, no. I know it wasn't a mention of a pregnancy, but it just hit a chord about how many people are out there - who knows, maybe in my own church? - who think that if I'm not a mom, it's because God's somehow decided that others are deserving and I'm not. I don't think anyone "deserves" to have another's life entrusted to them - but it's a beautiful blessing that is bestowed both on parents who take it seriously and on parents who screw it up every second. So if crappy things happen to me don't say it's from some shortcoming of mine - Jesus made it clear that that man was not blind due to anyone's sin!

wifeofafarmer · October 2014

While at our fertility consult to start on this road, there was a young mom (HS) there with 2 WILD kids. When the nurse brought us back to the room she straight up looked me in the eye & said are you SURE you want to have kids?? Seriously?! Are you kidding me?! She was looking at all of our info in front of her - married 6 years, stable job, stable housing, etc... It was hard enough seeing such a young mom struggling with 2 little ones & 1 on the way but that question hit me like a ton of bricks. I was able to suck it up, but I did devour a double dip ice cream cone afterwards on the way home.

dancerspose · October 2014

@wifeofafarmer wow that's awful! You're got more restraint than I because I would have either TP'ed her right there or reported her inappropriate behavior to the doctor. People working in clinics like that should know better than to be so tactless. I'm so sorry.

@dominicandreamer people like that make me so angry and PBR, seriously?

@wazzu08 you get majoy props for being able to stick it out as long as you did in such a rough situation.

@BunnyBerry thank you so much for the kind words. (HUGS) to you. I hate when people say things like "I guess it wasn't meant to be/wasn't in G-d's plan." I think somehow people mean those words to be comforting without realizing how truly hurtful they are..

SND1231 · October 2014

***loss and opp other children mentioned***

I mentioned last week that one of my friends was pregnant and seriously depressed and stays in bed and sends her 1.5 year old daughter to everyone else's house because she just "can't do anything".. Anyhow... I learned that one of my relatives was about 8 weeks pregnant and she had been trying for almost a year... they were soo excited. I was honestly excited for her... My relative and friend are also friends... My relative had a miscarriage and it was a very rough experience with two ER visits and then a D&C... My friend found out about it and was asking me how she was doing yada yada.. She then proceeds to say that she just can't talk to her because she can't be worrying about miscarrying herself and how she has to put her baby first. She just couldn't find the words to tell her friend that she was sorry for her loss because it affected her own pregnancy!! Are you freaking kidding me?! Anyhow all the OPP and stupid people are getting to me...

kristyn831 · October 2014

After a wedding and some moderate to heavy drinking, our friends (who happen to be very fertile) dropped us off and said we should have sex because DH's sperm would be relaxed. Oh, is that how this works? I just laughed and said that the ship for conventional methods of conceiving has sailed.

dominicandreamer · October 2014

@thewifeofafarmer - what a stupid thing to say in her job. I always hope people who say these stupid things feel terrible for them afterwards.

BunnyBerry · October 2014

@wifeofafarmer Oh my, that woman needs sensitivity training for her job. That's the kind of thing I would want to report to someone who could talk to her, so hopefully she will be more sensitive in the future to other hopeful women with IF.

@kristyn831 I'm glad you have such a good attitude about that! I would have lectured them on alcohol and sperm quality.

wifeofafarmer · October 2014

Thanks guys. I'm glad to know I wasn't being overly sensitive. I usually can handle I sensitive comments & OPP's since I'm fairly new to it but I will admit it's getting harder & harder by the day. Sometimes by the hour.

theholmanherd · October 2014

SND1231 said:

***loss and opp other children mentioned***

I mentioned last week that one of my friends was pregnant and seriously depressed and stays in bed and sends her 1.5 year old daughter to everyone else's house because she just "can't do anything".. Anyhow... I learned that one of my relatives was about 8 weeks pregnant and she had been trying for almost a year... they were soo excited. I was honestly excited for her... My relative and friend are also friends... My relative had a miscarriage and it was a very rough experience with two ER visits and then a D&C... My friend found out about it and was asking me how she was doing yada yada.. She then proceeds to say that she just can't talk to her because she can't be worrying about miscarrying herself and how she has to put her baby first. She just couldn't find the words to tell her friend that she was sorry for her loss because it affected her own pregnancy!! Are you freaking kidding me?! Anyhow all the OPP and stupid people are getting to me...

That is apalling. Wow.

LindseyM2012 · October 2014

Can I have two??

1) I overheard one of my coworkers doing an intake with a client who is seeking counseling due to being overloaded with work and grad school. On top of that, she just found out she is having an "oops baby" (my co-worker's words) and doesn't know how she feels about it. Thank GOODNESS that client is not scheduled for therapy with me. I think I'd have to refuse the client. I understand an unplanned pregnancy is overwhelming, but I just couldn't keep my therapist hat on during that session.

2) I have NO CLUE what came over me: I was reading a E! Online thing (I rarely ever look at celeb gossip) about Blake Lively. She looks so amazing. It stung me. Looks like she just has a perfectly proportioned balloon under her dress. Makes me want to do two things: 1) Eat all the comfort food I can get my hands on and 2) stop eating and workout so I can lose the last 10lbs before I get my BFP so I might look somewhat close to how great she looks!

mshandlebar · October 2014

@wifeofafarmer, @kristyn831 and @dominicandreamer: The douchiness is strong this week.

@wazzu08 you are my hero for sticking it out even that long and @shafwilson that was a sweet thing to do and I know it must have been hard.

@rainbowbridge14 that sucks on both accounts. My doc thought it was appropriate to bring up that her son is expecting his 4th as she was shoving the catheter for my IUI in my vag.

Last week I mentioned how my office manager announced her daughter's pregnancy, well today the head honcho at work announced that he his niece just had twins. Are you kidding me! I can pretend to be happy for a new grandma but a granduncle, I don't have patience for that. Luckily for me and my job, he told me that they had been trying for a really long time and only succeed after IVF treatments. I don't know if it is horrible of me, but that made a difference. I gave a silent cheer for all the people who kick IF's ass.

meredithcarole · October 2014

*loss mentioned*

One of my employees who is not overly fond of me told me yesterday she is KTFU and due in May. I said the right things and didn't have any outward reaction, but it brought to mind how she made a huge fuss (like HR level) in May when the day before Mother's Day (which also happened to be my 35th birthday and was a mere 2 months after my miscarriage) I left work half an hour early because I was having a bad day and she thought I was not being a good manager (mind you, there was another manager there). Well, lady, I'm glad you have made it thought your first trimester and most likely will never know the heartache that would cause you to put your mental health before your job for 30 minutes.

kristyn831 · October 2014

@wifeofafarmer‌ @mshandlebar‌ those comments from IF "professionals" really pisses me off. As someone who works in healthcare, I would've called them out on the spot and then reported them.

TTCBabyJ · October 2014

***Child mentioned***

One of my students didn't have a babysitter this evening so she tried to bring her 3 year old daughter to class. I don't allow guests in my classroom and especially not little cute, precious want to squeeze her cheeks guests. Later on I felt bad about saying no since I have never had to deal with the ups and downs of unreliable childcare.

Ann612 · October 2014

@TTCBabyJ

I think you ultimately did the right thing. It would be disruptive for everyone, and it would set a bad precedent. I actually think she's nuts for thinking that was appropriate.

TTCBabyJ · October 2014

@ann612 thank you! I just felt bad because I said no because of my own issues not the real reason. Cute little girls are my trigger....

emilycatlady · October 2014

At the risk of greatly emphasizing my newb status what does OPP stand for? I'm getting the jist after reading the comments but I just like to know i case I can join in. I already checked the glossary :P I bookmarked it on my computer and iPhone so I can reference it easily lol
Thanks!

theholmanherd · October 2014

I'm sorry, @emilycatlady. I usually put the description in the OP, but I forgot this week. It's to vent about Other People's Pregnancies.

emilycatlady · October 2014

Make sense

thanks

kistra · October 2014

My best friend at work told me she was pregnant yesterday. About 4 months ago we were discussing the logistics of TTC in our current job positions and now she is 12 weeks along...

She did text me to let me know that she wanted to tell me in person, so I got the crying out of the way and am really happy for her but so jealous at the same time. Does anyone else have to remind themselves not to feel bad about being sad and jealous for your friends?

emilycatlady · October 2014

every single time @kistra... even when its my cousin or someone in my family. even when its someone who i dont know but someone tells me about it (which is equally annoying)

frustrating as hell.

Ann612 · October 2014

well fuck. I just opened facebook to see an announcement that a kid I used to babysit is expecting. Now I just feel so old, and so childless. Great start to the day!

theholmanherd · October 2014

Ann612 said:
well fuck. I just opened facebook to see an announcement that a kid I used to babysit is expecting. Now I just feel so old, and so childless. Great start to the day!

Oh man. That's rough. (((Hugs)))

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