The Challenges

momofcatan · October 2014

Inspired by a post in SPAM. What have been your biggest parenting (or life) challenges lately?

I know last time we ended up with a thread like this I got great advice, so I thought I would start another one. I love this board so much because it reminds me I'm not alone.

momofcatan · October 2014

For me it's DD's whining. What more frustrating is she only does it around me. DC and my ILs will tell me what a pleasure she is, but the second I'm in the building, BAM, instant whine-a-thon. One evening I gave in and just tried holding her while I made dinner with one had. It still was not good enough because I wasn't sitting and reading her books. Twice now I've use a very stern voice (though not what I would call yelling) and told her "Stop whining!". She immediately gets the super sad, going to explode into tears face. I felt so bad, and immediately tell her I love her and mommy was just getting frustrated. But in the back of my mind I'm a little happy because it worked. I wish I knew how to make my kid happy and I worry that I'm turning her into a miserable kid.

TheTamedShrew · October 2014

Parenting: lately it has been her nap strike. I never know what day she will actually take a nap and it's extremely frustrating to not have any time to myself all day, or when I try to plan my day around her "nap time", and then she just plays (or screams) in her crib.

Life: dealing with the loss of my mom and trying to be strong for DH while HIS mom battles breast cancer. It's as if there is a dark cloud over everything that just won't go away.

Lizzybizzy80 · October 2014

Now that my husband is a stay at home dad, he is the one dealing with most of the whining and tantrums. The hardest thing for me right now is to not take it personally that B wants DH over me about 90% of the time. It's completely understandable but the sting is painful. I've burst into tears a couple times after a long day at work when my son is pushing me away.

megaroo64 · October 2014

I'm really struggling right now dealing with two. I feel like I am constantly neglecting one of them. Like when I am nursing N, B is kinda left to his own devices, and the second she is asleep- it is to the swing so I can concentrate on B. I feel like with B I sat and cuddled with him more than I am with N and it makes me feel really guilty. Add B's new found love of randomly screaming, and N's obsession with cluster feeding at the worst possible times and there are times I am ready to lock myself in a closet. This gets a little better right??

Megan32290 · October 2014

The tantrums. I feel like she tests every limit and she can be so stubborn. If we go to the store, she wants to walk/run, and will not sit in the cart or hold our hands. We took her to a restaurant the other night and she threw a fit because she wanted to roam around. I get even more stressed when these things happen in public. I have to remind myself that she isn't doing this to spite me, and that eventually it will get better.

LaBellaVida · October 2014

For me, I'm dealing with it all. A teenager who is being rebelous, and isn't taking school seriously. His friends are more important right now, and his grades are suffering because of it. Trying to get it through his head how he needs to take school seriously is a never ending battle.

An 8 year old who is starting to become defiant, and starting to not listen. The eye rolls, and stomping the feet when he doesn't get his way!

Then a 1 year old testing those boundaries, and his fit throwing. The bed time battles are becoming tiresome. He's still pretty easy right now though. I've noticed a huge change in him once though since we've been out n about the last week or so. Getting him out playing with other kids, or other toys have greatly improved his mood.

My mood too. ...

momofcatan · October 2014

sctiger said:

The tantrums. I feel like she tests every limit and she can be so stubborn. If we go to the store, she wants to walk/run, and will not sit in the cart or hold our hands. We took her to a restaurant the other night and she threw a fit because she wanted to roam around. I get even more stressed when these things happen in public. I have to remind myself that she isn't doing this to spite me, and that eventually it will get better.
That is so true for us too! It's one of her biggest reasons for tantrums. It's impossible to take her to restaurants because she won't sit in a high chair for more than 20 minutes. She always wants to roam around and can't sit still. When you try to take her away she loses her shit!

Like @subliminalrabbit said I usually try to walk around outside with DD if she doesn't want to be in the highchair while waiting for food. Or bring light snacks. Our kids are still too small of this, but one of my friends said that her favourite snack for her kid was grapes once he could eat them whole because it is also an activity for him to get them off teh stem.

Megan32290 · October 2014

We usually end up going to family-friendly chain restaurants (Chili's, Texas Roadhouse, Cheddars, etc.) as our options are limited where we are in Iowa. I feel bad anytime we have a meltdown though, because I know people want to enjoy their meal no matter the atmosphere.

We do have a Chinese buffet that has a huge fountain that B loves to look at. Maybe we will try to find places with distractions like that. I'm sure other patrons with kids understand, but in the moment of a meltdown, I feel like everyone is judging or irritated.

daffy2k · October 2014

I'm so happy I'm not the only one experiencing crazy tantrums. M just melts into the floor and lies face first bawling. It's honestly so pathetic to watch, especially when the tantrum is because she just isn't a monkey (or anything else that can climb up cabinets, walls, etc)

momofcatan · October 2014

@megsw85 DD started pinching recently, usually when I'm reading a book, so she is not paying attention to the fact that she is pinching. I tell her "be gentle, you are hurting mommy" and she's start stroking my hand instead of pinching. Now when she starts pinching she sometimes catches herself before I say anything and starts stroking my hand.

numbersgirl08 · October 2014

Tantrums and whining here too. And it's so frustrating because she's the worst with me. Whenever someone else watches her she's an angel. I just want to experience my girl like others do so I can enjoy her more. Instead I feel guilty because watching her is tiring and not very fun for me.

GraceInCA · October 2014

My greatest challenge is my own fatigue. My job isn't all that taxing, but it's still exhausting to have to give three other human beings (DH, DS, DD) all kinds of love and attention at the end of the day, not to mention taking care of house stuff, arranging dinner, etc. Sometimes I just want to pour a glass of wine and lay on the chaise part of the couch and zone out, but you can't do that when your older kid needs you to look over their essay, and the toddler just wants to crawl all over you and cuddle. Plus a DH who needs to unload about whatever insanity went on at his job that day. It can get really overwhelming. Before we had kids, I think the jobs we had at that time were harder, but it was so much easier to just shut brains off and either go out to eat or get takeout or delivery and drink beer and veg in bed reading books and watching TV. Those days are gone (until the empty nest).

nikel13 · October 2014

My biggest challenge right now has been Lily climbing on everything. She fell off of the back of the couch this morning. Why? Because she wanted to climb up there. She climbs on tables, chairs, bookshelves, etc. I have to watch her like a hawk to make sure that she isn't climbing. It makes me very tired.

itsStackie · October 2014

The tantrums and the giggles when she does something bad. That giggle is too cute, but it's not funny to run out in the street. (lucky we don't live somewhere busy.)
Also the challenge of me being sick. DD will be sick maybe two days, but it takes me two weeks to get over it, because I don't get extra sleep and snuggles.

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