Baby #2?

muffyvonmuff · October 2014

Calling all parents of multiple children. I can't decide where I stand on baby #2. DS just turned 1 and a part of me wants another but I just can't make up my mind. So I need everyone to tell me all positives and negatives to having kids a little less then 2 years apart.

Oh and I may have had baby making sex last night, so theres that. The jury is out on that for the next 2 weeks though.

MrsT0514 · October 2014

I cant speak to parenting multiple children yet, as I'm due with #2 in January, but my thought process is that their will be pros and cons to each and every scenario. The huge pro for us is that we're having them close together, so they'll be close in age and grow up together, going thru all the similar life stages together and hopefully have lots in common bc of that.

The con...having them close together. Haha. Meaning the next few years will be nothing short of controlled chaos in our house!

It really boils down to preference and what works for your family.

Soxgirl07 · October 2014

DS1 and DS2 are 20 months apart and honestly, I love it.
Yea, it's tough sometimes. Like when they want to go in opposite directions when I'm out alone with them or when they fight because the big guy just wants to do his own thing and the little man just wants to be with his brother. But mostly it's fucking adorable! They are so amazing together. They can entertain each other while I make dinner (as long as I pause to break up the inevitable fights). They learn a lot from each other and that's great to see. I love watching their separate personalities develop.

muffyvonmuff · October 2014

Avswolf said:

Just curious, if you're not sure where you stand, why are you having unprotected sex???

I def want another, but spacing has me over thinking things. So Im leaving it to fate….and wine….but mostly fate.

MrsT0514 · October 2014

@bearsbearsbears I agree with you in that being pregnant with a toddler, on some days, feels quite like a cruel form of punishment, lol.

tbmadeamistake · October 2014

I agree with @bearsbearsbears‌. Balancing their needs is my most difficult thing. Mine are 25 months apart and the little is 4.5 months, so I'm still new to this. I'm also now a SAHM instead of working. Pregnancy was rough, as were the first two months. Now that things are calming down I feel like we are finding our groove. Watching the way he lights up when she interacts with him is amazing!

cyprissa · October 2014

Mine are 26 months apart and while it is challenging, I like the age difference. Being pregnant with a toddler was awful! The first 6 months was pure survival but it's been great since. DS1 loves being a big brother and really tries to take care of DS2 and DS2 thinks 1 is the best thing ever. They crack me up all the time although occasionally I have to fight the urge to knock their heads together Three Stooges style...

aforst · October 2014

My boys are 2.5 years apart, but I would have had them closer together if DH had been on board. Like everyone said, there are pros and cons to both scenarios. The bottom line is that you'll figure it out. You'll get through it and make things work.

insertclevername · October 2014

My boys are just over 3 years apart. It took us five months to conceive DS2. So the closest we would have been ok with was 2.5 years apart. I am actually glad that it ended up being a 3 year age difference. I truly do not think I would have been able to handle pregnancy and a newborn with DS1 being any younger than he was. By the time DS2 got here, DS1 was pretty much potty trained and self sufficient in certain areas. I don't think DH and I could have handled the newborn phase with a needy toddler.

dashofreality · October 2014

Having two 19 months apart kicked my ass for the first 1.5 years. My first was 'easy' and my second definitely was not. I really struggled juggling everything for a long time.

Things are good now, the kids are really close, and it is nice that they have the same interests. But if I had to do it over again, I think it would've been easier with a 2.5 - 3 year age gap.

Snapdragon750 · October 2014

Just putting it out there, if you mean you just got off hormonal birth control then you'll more likely end up having kids about two years apart even if your fertility is amazing and you're doing it all the time, so you probably don't have to worry too much about 2 under 2, or at least THAT much under 2. My kids are basically exactly 2 years apart (having been in the same "baby is a year old, now I want another" boat as you), and it's pretty doable.

mrscutforth · October 2014

My kids are 20mo apart. DS loves DD. Since day one I included DS in diaper changes, him watching bath time (and the occasional bath together, ya know to save time), kisses every morning and before bed. I've also been teaching him his body parts. We've now moved on to using DD (and the dog) to point out body parts. All DS every does when he gets close to her or when she cries, he kisses her forehead.

DH and I had decided that around the time DS turned 1 we would try. Lo and behold, I got pregnant a month before DS turn one. I can't wait to see how their relationship grows over the years. I had a brother that was 19 months younger than me and we were attached at the hip but at the same time we did our own things.

thebanich · October 2014

Mine are 16.5 months apart. It was a pain in the ass for a while. They are best buddies most of the time now and I love that they entertain each other.

ericalee27 · October 2014

CTGirl30 said:

. I also knew that for me, I could never go 4-5 years and then return to the infant stage (which I really dislike) so part of our spacing was get all that overwith sooner rather than later, in one fell swoop.

This for me too. I seriously don't think I could have dealt with going back to the infant stage after a long break.

Mine are 27 months apart. Pregnancy at the end and the first 6 months after DS2 was born were tough. We also hit a bump once DS2 started walking and really mixing it up with DS1. We seem to be in a good zone right now though, as DS1 turns 4 (tomorrow, WTF?!) and DS1 closes in on 2.

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