I am officially a crazy person

ChristineG25 · October 2014

So I had a miscarriage last year. My husband and I were pregnant with twins. Long story short, we ended up miscarrying at 11 weeks, although the twins had stopped developing at 9 weeks. Anyways, this pregnancy has been going well so far. I'm 14 weeks along. I had a healthy ultrasound at 8 weeks, and the baby's heartbeat was nice and strong. At 11w5d we got to hear the heartbeat, and it was nice and strong as well. Now I am 14 weeks, and I keep convincing myself that something is wrong. I know symptoms go away around this time and that's normal. I know not everyone is showing yet, and that's normal. I know all of this with my normal person brain, but my pregnancy brain is driving myself crazy.....

I considered buying a doppler but I am terrified that we won't be able to find the heartbeat and then I will have a meltdown. It got so bad that I called my doctor's office this morning and asked if I could come in after work just to hear the heartbeat and know that everything is ok (thank god they said that is fine). I'm sorry, I know that there have been so many posts about pregnancy worries and fears and I should have just added mine onto a previously made list. I guess I just wanted to throw it out there that I am a crazy person and I really appreciate all of you and all of your posts. I don't comment much, but I check the board every day to check on your posts. I'm hoping that I will post and respond more as I feel more comfortable with this pregnancy and more certain that I am in fact pregnant.

Tonysgirl03 · October 2014

Honey, let me say, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! Or going Crazy.

You just want to make sure everything is okay. ::HUGS:: Good Vibes headed your way!

ElizabethSwann · October 2014

You are not crazy. I hope you feel a little better today after hearing the heartbeat!!

fro88 · October 2014

I am in a very similar situation. I also lost twins (one at 9 weeks and one at 11) and then had another loss a year later, so I can completely relate.

I, too, have been panicking at every turn, especially as it gets further and further from my last dr appointment. We're in a very tricky stage right now, where you aren't fully showing, and you can't feel baby moving, and you just have to hope that all is ok without any real confirmation between appointments. I'm glad that your doctors office is flexible, and will allow you to come in for a peace of mind check!

My only advice, which is far easier to give than to take, I know, is to know that you are doing everything you can, and that at this point it is out of your hands, so to try to stay calm and relaxed. Soon enough you'll be able to feel baby move and see real growth in your body and hopefully that will help to assuage your fears.

Wishing you good luck and peace of mind!

ashjenn · October 2014

Hopefully after hearing the HB again you will find peace but you are definetly not crazy!! I think we all feel this way at some point thinking the worst possible...Hugs to you and let us know how it goes!!

HZ2012 · October 2014

I've been in your shoes (well, sort of - mine weren't twins). First, I'm sorry for your losses. Second, you are NOT crazy.

After my m/c I was a nervous wreck. I'm now watching my amazing 1 1/2 year old tear up my den

Having an understanding Dr certainly helps, being able to go on to ease your worries is a life saver. I did the same with my DS.

Soon enough you'll be able to feel kicks, and that helps a lot to ease your worries.

Just keep positive and tell yourself that everything is fine. At this point, the odds of something happening are super slim. Keep reminding yourself of that.

whiterabbit5 · October 2014

I had a MC earlier this year and let me tell you, you are NOT crazy. I have been a non-stop, anxiety freak this entire pregnancy. I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instead of being happy and thinking I am pregnant today, I just expect that today is the day we lose the baby. At 9 weeks I was certain I had lost the baby. I had no signs, no cramping, no bleeding, I was just sure it was gone. Went in for an ultrasound and all was fine. The following week we were able to find the baby's heartbeat on our doppler. The doppler has been a lifesaver. My DH and I doppler every day, sometimes twice a day if I am extremely anxious. With every ultrasound, I always expect it to be the end. Each week though I am getting more and more confident. I know it's hard to stay positive but you can do it. With each week that passes you'll gain more confidence. DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR CALLING DOCTOR TO DOPPLER. You are paying them to take care of you and that includes a quick doppler check.

You can do this mama!

lneice0160 · October 2014

You're not crazy, I think almost every pregnant women feels this to some extent.
I hope that you're more at ease after hearing the heartbeat today!! T&Ps!

mrsgunsta · October 2014

You are so not crazy! I joke with my midwife that I need a "frequent visitor card" or something after my M/C because I think I drive them crazy. After two good U/S I am finally relaxing on the doomsday thinking, and once I see my Panorama results this week, I think I may actually enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.

starshollow · October 2014

You are not crazy. Or if you are crazy, so am I! If I didn't have an appointment tomorrow, I would be tempted to call. I have an anterior placenta so no movement for me yet. I am not showing at all. Second tri is hard because symptoms fade and leaving you scared and paranoid. Hopefully a good strong heartbeat will put your mind at ease.

cf101009 · October 2014

I completely understand. I had a loss earlier this year too and have been feeling similar. I hoping that this is just a difficult time to have faith in the process - before we can feel movement or really see a bump. I know I'm struggling with the wait between hearing the heartbeat at 13 weeks and waiting for my next appointment next month.

ChristineG25 · October 2014

Thanks ladies!! I appreciate the support, and it certainly helps to hear that so many of you are in the same boat! It's also scary because we just told our family, and I would hate to have to share bad news after the good news. I will let all of you know how the appointment goes today.

catlover790 · October 2014

Just another vote for not crazy

! I'm sorry for your previous loss.

I haven't had a loss and I still feel this way. My symptoms are starting to get better which makes me more nervous. I'm afraid to tell the rest of our family and then have to tell them if something is wrong. I totally understand; I hope your appointment goes well!

PinkDahLia44 · October 2014

I felt the same way during my second pregnancy (with my H&H son) after a similar loss during my first pregnancy (baby stopped growing at 9 weeks, miscarried at 12). The Doppler was a lifesaver. I'm not as worried this time (bc now I know what a normal pregnancy feels like) but I still use my Doppler daily, and sometimes twice a day. You're not crazy, and a Doppler might be helpful.

Mel&John2013 · October 2014

It's definitely not just you...Over this past weekend I was so sure something was wrong that I almost caved and paid an elective place for a gender scan even tho we already have Progenity results. I just wanted to see baby so bad and thought I was going to freak out. Luckily the elective place was closed and I had an OB appointment yesterday.

If you're crazy then I'm straight up looney tunes.

jk3610 · October 2014

Just try not to worry and stress! I hope things work out for the best.

bmblebea · October 2014

I think it's almost impossible to avoid the crazy when you're a pgal lady! We miscarried in May but now I'm 17 weeks tomorrow with 3 good ultrasounds under my belt and I'm still a crazy. My neurosis de jour is feeling for my uterus and having a panic attack bc it still feels low and like it hasn't moved up much past the pubic bone and then I am constantly worried that something is wrong. I also won't buy a Doppler bc I'm afraid I won't be able to find the heartbeat and will freak out. You are not alone!!

SMFB · October 2014

Sorry for your losses. I haven't had any and I too feel overly worried that something will happen or something is wrong. Once I feel strong movements I think it'll help ease my mind, or not... It's a tough job we are doing.

kariemomo · October 2014

Welcome to the club! Your not crazy. I feel the same way! I've had 3 ultrasounds because of a hcg drop scare and each one has a had a healthy baby and strong heartbeat, but I always think the worst. Yesterday I had some bad lower back pain, I say weird at work all day and freaked out for a minute. I feel I have to start believing this new midwife that she is right and nothing is wrong but definitely waiting 4 weeks between appointments is tough. I have less than 2 weeks to the next and I'm so nervous. Your not alone.

ChristineG25 · October 2014

Thanks for all of the support and comments, ladies! I had my appointment and everything is great with a healthy heartbeat. I even recorded it so I can listen to it when I'm feeling worried or wondering if I'm really pregnant. I think I can breathe for a few weeks now knowing that I made it out of the first trimester with a healthy heartbeat....but I'm sure my pgal brain will only let me rest for awhile before creating some new things to be worried about!! Thinking about all of you and hoping we all have healthy and happy pregnancies!

Mushibamboo · October 2014

If you're crazy then so am I. It's hard trusting that everything is okay, even harder with a previous loss. My last appointment with my OB he asked if I was excited and I said I would be when I stopped worrying ... 13 weeks and 4 scans later, still feel paranoid! I'm hoping like PP that feeling movements will calm me down a bit. Hang in there!

Duffgurl · October 2014

Nope you're not cray cray. I think it is completely normal to be worried. Hope all goes well with your appt.

allielsilva · October 2014

First, I am so sorry for your losses. Second, I'm a FTM and this is my first pregnancy and I went nuts about a week ago because I was so concerned about my symptoms going away. So, you are not crazy!!

Hopefully you heard your baby's heartbeat and found some inner peace. Just try and relax, (easier said then done, I know) and enjoy the pregnancy.

scoutmaxwell · October 2014

Yes, as everyone said so NOT crazy. My first pregnancy I didn't worry much, but after having a MC last time, I am totally different with this one. I am almost 14 weeks and haven't told anyone except my husband and mom! Waiting for the next US, maybe being totally paranoid but it is totally normal especially when you have experienced a loss.

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