Newbie- Ready for Baby!

akraus2015 · October 2014

Hello all,

I am a newbie and this is my first post! My fiancé and I are getting married on 05/15/15, and we want to start TTC right after the wedding. Honeymoon baby?! (Probably wishful thinking!) I work in education leadership, so I want to be intentional about when I get pregnant, so that my maternity leave fits nicely into my career plans. I'm finding that I am having SUCH a hard time waiting! I don't want to be 7 months pregnant in my wedding dress, but the anticipation is killing me!! Anybody else out there sharing a similar experience? What do you do to keep your mind off baby?!

arlinar · October 2014

While I haven't planned a wedding and currently pregnant, the best thing to do to keep mind off of baby is to focus on your wedding (more details, honeymoon planning) You can try the knot and go on their message boards to talk about your wedding details with others and that can help pass time as well. If you think about it, It's only about 6 months away to your wedding and TTC journey

carolinagirl67 · October 2014

Just try to focus on the wedding right now. But realistically don't have your heart set on conceiving at a certain time. It can take a healthy couple up to a year.

Twinkie0612 · October 2014

NariaDreaming said:

akraus2015 said:

Hello all, I am a newbie and this is my first post! My fiancé and I are getting married on 05/15/15, and we want to start TTC right after the wedding. Honeymoon baby?! (Probably wishful thinking!) I work in education leadership, so I want to be intentional about when I get pregnant, so that my maternity leave fits nicely into my career plans. I'm finding that I am having SUCH a hard time waiting! I don't want to be 7 months pregnant in my wedding dress, but the anticipation is killing me!! Anybody else out there sharing a similar experience? What do you do to keep your mind off baby?!

Good luck with that.

Even if you get pregnant at an ideal time, what happens, if (God forbid) you end up having a 25 week preemie?

You *may* luck out and end up with a baby that is born at a time that fits well with your workflow. Or you may not. Short of paying for IVF, praying it works the first time, and then crossing your fingers for a full term birth, there's no good way to ensure that you have a child that's born at a convenient time.

Parenting isn't convenient.

^This. There is nothing wrong with trying to plan your pregnancy around your work schedule, but just be aware that it might not work out.

EricaOO · October 2014

Focus on your wedding. Then enjoy married life. I got pregnant 9 months after I got married and while I couldn't be happier, there are times I wish my husband and I had gone on another trip or partied more before babies.

Helenahhandbasket · October 2014

I would definitely stay off the bump if I was trying to distract myself from TTC.

carolinagirl67 · October 2014

Kimbus22 said:
Well, no. I was married 5 years before I even thought about babies. And the last thing I'd do right after getting married is TTC. (I realize people do it and it works out fine. But those years of being married and just being us were awesome and these kids have done a number on us and we had ten years of relationship strongly built before they showed up.)

But distraction is key. You have a wedding and a honeymoon to plan so do it. Don't be so excited about the next phase that you miss the things happening now. Hopefully you're only doing this once so enjoy it.

And yeah, babies generally don't fit nicely into plans. It's just the nature of the beast. So if you want to try to make it convenient, go ahead. But it's far more likely that it won't happen that way so be prepared.

This. Before we got married, I was all "OMG babies right away" but after I changed my mind because we were having so much fun and realized that it is important to have our time as well.

katieteacher123 · October 2014

Hi Akraus!

I am also in a very similar boat. Getting married in less than 2 weeks! I am a teacher and we are going to start TTC in April (Spring break!) on our honeymoon.

Of course things may not work as planned or timed, but I do not think you are stupid or an idiot for posting that you want to try and plan a baby on your timeline. There seems to be a lot of hostility towards you for saying that.

I also understand that things may not work as planned, but I, personally, take comfort in having a plan. It helps me with visualizing the future. This may bring me heartache or disappointment, but I like holding onto a little dream.

Best of luck to you!

katieteacher123 · October 2014

"Good luck with that"

"::giggle-snort:: The bolded is funny."

"It's pregnancy, not buying a car. You can't always make it fit "nicely" into your little life plan."

I do think these comments serve no other purpose than to make Akraus feel stupid and naive, so, I read them as being hostile.

I think it is OK to say it may not work, but to make fun of someone's plan seems mean to me. Maybe I am just sensitive?

katieteacher123 · October 2014

Informing someone of their chances is one thing, but to be outright mean about it is another.

If being sensitive means that I feel for someone's situation, then, yes...I am sensitive. My intentions in this forum are to lend support and seek advice. I do not think that support, nor advice need to be delivered in a harsh or mean way.

katieteacher123 · October 2014

Of course you may suggest it, but I would rather just learn more about staying here.

I really would like to stay and be a part of a community. Maybe better advice for me would to stop being so naive myself...I can't help it! I am naive when it comes to TTC, babies, and pretty much everything this site is about. I am here to learn, and I want to learn.

So, instead of asking me to leave...can you give me advice on how to stay and do well here?

And yes...I realize the first piece of advice may be "Stop trying to fart rainbows and sing kumbaya"

Twinkie0612 · October 2014

katieteacher123 said:

Hi Akraus!

I am also in a very similar boat. Getting married in less than 2 weeks! I am a teacher and we are going to start TTC in April (Spring break!) on our honeymoon.

Of course things may not work as planned or timed, but I do not think you are stupid or an idiot for posting that you want to try and plan a baby on your timeline. There seems to be a lot of hostility towards you for saying that.

I also understand that things may not work as planned, but I, personally, take comfort in having a plan. It helps me with visualizing the future. This may bring me heartache or disappointment, but I like holding onto a little dream.

Best of luck to you!

Who was hostile?

Like I said there's nothing wrong with trying to plan, as long as you understand that there is a good chance that the plan may not work out the way you want it to.

I started TTC in August 2011 and hoped to have a baby in May 2012. Here it is 3+ years later and I am still working on TTC #1. Life doesn't always go according to your plan.

katieteacher123 · October 2014

I think I just originally mistook the snark for something it wasn't. I am just trying learn here.

I suffer from foot in mouth disease...usually it shows up as verbal diarrhea, but in this case it was more like typing diarrhea?

Thanks for being understanding of a newbie! I promise I will post an actual intro soon.

akraus2015 · October 2014

It must be the teacher in us that drives us to plan everything!! Thanks for the kind words. Best of luck to you and congratulations on the wedding!!

Helenahhandbasket · October 2014

katieteacher123 said:

I think I just originally mistook the snark for something it wasn't. I am just trying learn here.

I suffer from foot in mouth disease...usually it shows up as verbal diarrhea, but in this case it was more like typing diarrhea?

Thanks for being understanding of a newbie! I promise I will post an actual intro soon.

You may stay.

PolarBear517 · October 2014

Well, DH & I are also waiting until the summer (July, we have a longer wait than you!)

I am using this time to pay down debt, lose a little weight, and get my body ready. I looked up vaccines I'm due for (thanks to the ladies on this board), and I've also been motivated to pursue immunotherapy for my awful allergies in hopes that I can decrease my reliance on inhalers (pregnancy is not recommended when building the dose initially).

There are a few reasons behind our try date, I keep them in mind.

But, really, I'd have hated being pregnant on my honeymoon

you have lots of good reasons to wait this one out- after all, it's not THAT far away!

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