chemical pregnancy

catvaughn5002 · October 2014

Hi ladies! My husband and I just had our first pregnancy end due to chemical pregnancy early this week. I'm just now finishing up my period. It has been harder on me than my hubby bc of the early emotional attachment and being both family oriented had told both would be first time grandparents.

my question is how long should we wait to try again? My doctor said we could right away but I have read differing opinions. Also, not quite sure I could endure another possible loss so soon. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance.

PinkCamino · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss.

How do you know that you were more attached than your husband? You don't know how anybody else's feels so don't assume that he's not struggling. They suffer too but often keep it to themselves.

laswett · October 2014

So sorry for your loss. I also told all parents the news and telling them about the loss was very hard, almost like I was disappointing them. My Dr. told us to wait through one cycle after a D&C IF the period was normal. If I felt it was off in any way, he said to wait until a normal cycle. Having been on BC for 11 years, I have NO idea what a "normal" cycle is as all of mine have been anywhere from 24-29 days and VERY light compared to BC cycles. I think we will end up following my womanly gut on this one since every woman is so different. Good luck to you!

catvaughn5002 · October 2014

It has been definitely hard on him too and he has been very supportive of which im thankful. I guess what I was trying to convey is he is ready to try again right away and at this point im hesistant

wanting some opinions/guidance from others that may have been in a similar situation

ash413 · October 2014

I am very sorry for your loss.
From what I understand with CP you may try again right away, though I do not have personal experience with this.

Have you talked to your husband about how he is feeling? I think many men do not discuss their feelings, but that does not mean he is not grieving in his own way.
So sorry you are going through this

buggirl72 · October 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think the thing you need to remember is that just because your doctor said you are physical okay to try again that does not mean you are emotionally ready or that you have to. It's okay to take a cycle or two (or more) off if you need to.

Even though your husband is ready to try right away that does not mean you have to. You are correct that a back to back loss is hard. While the vast majority of early losses are flukes and you very well may go on to have a very uneventful pregnancy, we do have many women on here that go on to have another loss. I'm not trying to scare you. You stated you don't think you are ready for the emotional tole of another loss. Wait. Talk with your husband and let him know that emotionally you need more time to heal.

You will see rumors on the internet that you are "more fertile" after a CP. This is a myth. It's okay to wait. It's okay to mourn this child you lost and the dreams you had.

catvaughn5002 · October 2014

Thank you ladies for reminding me that I can take whatever time I need in order to properly grieve our loss. I'm trying not to put a time frame on things but its hard for me being that I'm a planner.

jjbmstinco · October 2014

I just wanted to say welcome to the board. I am sorry for your loss.

Km380 · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. As pps have said you need to be physically and emotionally ready. If your or YH aren't ready, take the time to wait.
Welcome to the board

rslh10 · October 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome.

O2girl · October 2014

Welcome. I'm sorry for your loss. (((((Hugs)))))

alm288 · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. As others said, take as long as you need. Welcome

rmpar29 · October 2014

I'm very sorry for your loss. I echo PPs that if you feel you need more time before TTC then certainly take it. Welcome to the board.

katie0919 · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. With a chemical pregnancy, the fertilized egg never fully attaches to the uterine wall - I had one in March and my OB gave me the all clear right away. I just had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and miscarried naturally. I will start up fertility treatments again when I get my first post-miscarriage period, but my RE even said I could try on my own while I wait for my period (maybe because I had a natural miscarriage?), so DH and I are NTNP this month. Just make sure you're both ready emotionally.

Best of luck to you

PinkCamino · October 2014

Greeneyes842 said:

katie0919 said:

I'm sorry for your loss. With a chemical pregnancy, the fertilized egg never fully attaches to the uterine wall - I had one in March and my OB gave me the all clear right away. I just had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and miscarried naturally. I will start up fertility treatments again when I get my first post-miscarriage period, but my RE even said I could try on my own while I wait for my period (maybe because I had a natural miscarriage?), so DH and I are NTNP this month. Just make sure you're both ready emotionally. Best of luck to you

I'm confused by this - I thought with a CP the egg does in fact implant and produces hcg - otherwise you would never have a positive test.
OP - sorry for your loss. Give yourself more time to heal - there's no need to rush into trying again if you're not ready. Welcome to the board.

this.

lovemybellag · October 2014

Sorry for your loss. We had a cp too and were told to wait one period. Good luck but take some time to do what you feel is best for you. Let your heart tell you. Trying again can be very emotional. I cried the first time we had sex after our cp.

welly01 · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss.

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