inlaws... need I say more?

4littlebears · October 2014

Warning: bratty rant coming up... It'd be easier if they just didn't come to visit. DH always talks up how helpful his mom is, but she's not. She made dinner for us one time, but since then I've had to stop her from putting eczema cream on dd2's diaper rash and stop her from yelling at my severely allergic dd1 for complaining of an itchy throat. I'm sorry! But we have to take that complaint extremely serious with her, or we could miss it when her life is seriously in danger!! She says how much she misses out on with her grandkids, but as of right now is not offering to put dd2 to bed even though dh asked her to since I have to be up doing actual work plus making cupcakes for dd2's birthday tomorrow. She and my FIL have closed themselves in their room and are watching TV, and she says she's going to bed. She has spent zero time with her son since she's been here too. Grr.... I'm glad they're going home a day earlier than we thought.

robsbabygirl08 · October 2014

I understand completely. I don't understand why some grandparents just don't get it. It's not like we are being bitch daughter in laws that make up crazy guidelines just for the hell of it. It's all for the safety of our kids!!!!

NatureLovers · October 2014

The way our MIL's parented is very different from the way we parent today, and many of them seem to take it as a personal insult. It's ridiculous.

4littlebears · October 2014

Thank you ladies, I needed to hear that. The older she gets, the harder it is to deal with her attitude. I had to tell her 3 times not to do dd1's homework for her too. Shockingly we feel like she should at least try to do it herself. Ok, I'm done. Thanks again for the sympathy.

emilyp2013 · October 2014

That sucks. :-( Itchy throat is super important for you guys to know!!! My inlaws are awesome. Pretty much won the lottery on that front. No idea how I'd handle it if they acted like that. Hopefully it calms down soon.

robsbabygirl08 · October 2014

My husband won the lottery on awesome in-laws!!! Ha ha but seriously, my parents set a very high standard in the in-law and grandparent department

ukdmwifeyxo · October 2014

I'm in my 3rd trimester and my MIL hasn't bought ANYTHING for my son... And she keeps calling him Freddie. Err. We are calling him Leon...

sanbry · October 2014

My in laws do randomly annoying crap like that too. I already told my husband I don't want their "help" after this baby was born after how they were when my dd was born. Luckily my mom will be out to help for a little while. Honestly my husband totally lucked out with in laws. His family on the other hand can be seriously wacky.

HamptonsMama · October 2014

My MIL likes to say she "gives me a night/morning off" by having us over for breakfast or dinner. Maybe if they drove the 20 minutes to us, or she had food I could eat, or something I could drink besides water, or helped in any way with DD or didn't contradict what we said then maybe I would consider it time off. She also polices how much I eat to the point that I don't feel comfortable asking for more food. I've only gained 14 lbs and am 28 weeks along.

pleirey · October 2014

I feel bad for you...and my FI because my mother will be that terrible in-law X_X

Edit: New tablet has auto correct from hell!

4littlebears · October 2014

Now she thinks she can break our kids of their screaming. Like we're doing such a terrible job of disciplining and just let them scream in public. I'd love to see her try! They will break her!!

4littlebears · October 2014

Every time they leave I'm thankful, that's so horrible to say. But distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder in our family. It'd be so much worse if we lived close to them.

4littlebears · October 2014

And we try to explain over and over their allergies, but it's almost not even worth it. It's like she refuses to believe how dangerous they are. I give up, you can't convince her of anything because she truly believes she knows everything. Ok, done now. They'll be gone in the morning...

rachel+family · October 2014

In-laws

ugh. Totally understand. I do a happy dance everytime I get away with not seeing mine. I haven't seen mine in 6 weeks and they only live ten mins away

Hooray for them leaving!

jessicaL104 · October 2014

My hubby's family smock around my and my 18 months old they had been going out side but bc its got cold they just do it i hate smelling it and i don't want to be arriving it and my hubby's ant thinks i just look fat bc i Cary inside mostly 24 weeks at 130 pounds so fat

becks2012 · October 2014

nursesouder said:

VioletGjoni said:

ukdmwifeyxo said:
I'm in my 3rd trimester and my MIL hasn't bought ANYTHING for my son
Same here, and I thought I was being selfish for thinking this but honestly it's pissing me off. My mom and sister have bought the baby TONS of things and I'm not even asking for my MIL to get me the amount they got, but even like a little teething toy or SOMETHING I'd appreciate. It just makes me so mad.

I have the opposite problem. My MIL keeps buying things. Usually, she gets them from goodwill or yard sales. It isn't stuff we need, or want. This is my third boy. We don't need a new used swing, a mobile that could be repaired and be super cute, or a slightly stained, but still usable crib sheet. We have plenty of clothing, except maybe pants for the oldest. It isn't fun to buy big kid clothes, so she just brings trash bags full of clothing in infant sizes. Aren't they all so cute.

No, no it isn't cute. With number two, I would sort through it all and maybe keep a few things, or try to sell them at garage sales. I have talked to her, I have given stuff back to her. She just keeps bringing it. Now I just move it on to goodwill again.

Sigh. This is also the woman who gave me a two and a half octave glockenspiel for Christmas last year. I don't get people.

HStrawberry · October 2014

nursesouder said:

VioletGjoni said:

ukdmwifeyxo said:
I'm in my 3rd trimester and my MIL hasn't bought ANYTHING for my son
Same here, and I thought I was being selfish for thinking this but honestly it's pissing me off. My mom and sister have bought the baby TONS of things and I'm not even asking for my MIL to get me the amount they got, but even like a little teething toy or SOMETHING I'd appreciate. It just makes me so mad.

Why would you expect her to give you gifts now? Are you having a shower? You'll get gifts then. Maybe she will give you a gift after the baby arrives? This sounds bratty.

Agreed. I haven't received a single thing yet but there is still 3 more months. I'm sure the baby will be thoroughly spoiled.

I think it's better to plan as is you won't receive anything. That way any gift is a bonus.

ukdmwifeyxo · October 2014

She doesn't want to come to my showers. She's in her 70's and doesn't approve of my tattooed friends.

firsttimeaussiemum · October 2014

My MIL has brought my girl something's but she won't tell me what she has gotten :-/ not really sure why it's not like it's a Christmas or birthday present for me. I would like to know just so I don't buy the same thing and her get stroppy at me for getting the same thing.

4littlebears · October 2014

I was telling my MIL that we'd bought everything and she said, what am I supposed to get? I just said I assumed we were on our own! I told her we'd need clothes if it's a boy. Too late now. They're gone now and it's like my stress just got me totally down all day today, almost like a release. Ugh... So much work to do this week too, I hate anxiety.

MrsNoopoom · October 2014

The MIL calling my LO one by the wrong name is killing me!!! Their Thai and refer to him as Khnom Gin, which is Thai speghetti! So they want me to name him after food? And speghetti at that? WTF?!? His name is James, thanks.

MrsNoopoom · October 2014

The MIL calling my LO one by the wrong name is killing me!!! Their Thai and refer to him as Khnom Gin, which is Thai speghetti! So they want me to name him after food? And speghetti at that? WTF?!? His name is James, thanks.

firsttimeaussiemum · October 2014

MrsNoopoom said:
The MIL calling my LO one by the wrong name is killing me!!! Their Thai and refer to him as Khnom Gin, which is Thai speghetti! So they want me to name him after food? And speghetti at that? WTF?!? His name is James, thanks.

You poor woman. That would drive me insane and I honestly think I would bite her head off every time she says it. My MIL makes me so angry at time I feel like my chest is about to explode when she says certain things I can only imagine how you feel.

HStrawberry · October 2014

I love my MIL and we have a great relationship but she's convinced it's a boy and keeps calling the baby 'he'. We are also changing our last name (long story... All my in-laws are doing it) so she will also call it 'Baby D'. We haven't changed it yet and I have zero feeling towards the new last initial. I just find it weird. I don't know why it bothers me when she says either one but I get so irritated when she says it.

TXUltraRunner · October 2014

VioletGjoni said:

Why are you trying to shit on how my culture does things? How ignorant can you get? I never expect gifts for ANYTHING; birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc., but how we do things for a new baby is we GIVE constantly. But how we've done it for centuries makes ME bratty. Okay

Actually, yeah you complaining about a lack of gifts comes across as entitled. You can't force others to adhere to customs. Perhaps your family sees the customs as outdated or they don't care for that custom in general. While it would be nice if they showered you with gifts your entire pregnancy, that's obviously not the case and for you to complain about it is off putting. I can only judge you by what you've put out there on this thread so maybe I am misjudging you but this is how your statements come across.

llambrose · October 2014

VioletGjoni said:

Why are you trying to shit on how my culture does things? How ignorant can you get? I never expect gifts for ANYTHING; birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc., but how we do things for a new baby is we GIVE constantly. But how we've done it for centuries makes ME bratty. Okay

I don't think that there is anything wrong with you being frustrated by this since it is customary in your culture. If that is your custom then it would be hurtful. I do not agree with PPs that it seems bratty once we know that there is a cultural difference there. Do you have any idea why she is not observing the custom?

ukdmwifeyxo · October 2014

That feel! Mine keeps calling my son Freddie when she knows damn well his name is LEON

ukdmwifeyxo · October 2014

MrsNoopoom said:
The MIL calling my LO one by the wrong name is killing me!!! Their Thai and refer to him as Khnom Gin, which is Thai speghetti! So they want me to name him after food? And speghetti at that? WTF?!? His name is James, thanks.

That feel! Mine keeps calling my son Freddie when she knows damn well his name is LEON

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