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July 2014 Moms
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crazy mil - need to vent

nmarieknmariek member
in July 2014 Moms
Sorry if this is long post, I just need to get this all out! (a little back ground before so you can understand my frustration - I have a step son who lives with his mother out of state. One day she just up and left moved back to the state she was from with out any one knowing. They call it a kid napping - their words not mine)
Before I came along MIL would be the one who cared for him when he was here bc DH owns his own company so he would be with her while he worked. In my opion she is a little weird with him - she thinks she knows best for him (even made a comment once that he love his nana more then his own mom)
Fast forward to present day. She complains that she never gets to see him bc she (his mother) took him away from them and blah blah blah (she brings it up ALL the time) so you think she would want to see her granddaughter all the time? Ahh nope! Only when her brother is in town. She complains (when we do see her when it's with out stepson) that she never gets to see the baby. Well today she had the perfect opportunity to see her but did she? Nope!
With both of these virus going around DH and I both agree that we want to limit her (our LO) to going places if need be. MIL had some of DH little cousins over and they ask me if they could see the baby. I said sure come over here. MIL got her panties in a bunch bc I told her the reasons to why I would rather they come to our house.
You would think as a grandma you would take every chance you could to see your granddaughter. She lives less then 5 mins away! At this point I'm done trying with this woman. I feel she treats her different then her bother. She even made a comment to me when I was pregnant that we need to treat stepson different then the baby
Again sorry for the long post. I just needed to get that out!!!!!!
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Re: crazy mil - need to vent

  • knitsandgigglesknitsandgiggles member
    If your MIL is bringing the cousins who may or may not have a virus to your houss, how is that different than going to see them at her house? Same potential germs, different venue.

    Also, maybe your MIL is treating/did treat stepson differently because she had a different experience with him? If she was with him every day while his parents worked, they probably did have a sort of bond.

    Do you want your MIL over at your house every day gushing over her granddaughter? I guess I'm not sure what you want your MIL to be doing differently?
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  • nmarieknmariek member
    No way would I want her here everyday but she only sees her when her brother is here from his moms who lives 6 hours away (and that 6 days out of a month spred out) when she does see her she brings stepson gifts and nothing for the baby.
    She has said she doesn't like girls and boys are just better. I feel as a grandparent you never treat your grandkids differently!

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  • INmommy871278INmommy871278 member
    It's sad to hear that. Your daughter will potential grow to resent her paternal grandparents for that reason. My paternal grandparents saw my cousins all the time, but never gave us the time of day, at Christmas we would sit for hours watching our cousins open the latest gaming systems all sorts of toys tha grandparents bought them while we got nothing, they came to very few of our birthdays and now wonder why we choose not to visit them very often. my siblings and I all grew up resenting them because of their behavior. Maybe you could sit down and have a heart to heart with MIL and tell her your feelings and see if things change?
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  • cuntasaurusrexcuntasaurusrex member
    I'm on team MIL.
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  • lks18lks18 member
    edited October 2014
    If grandma really prefers boys over girls it doesn't sound like your DD isn't missing out on much. It sounds like she is being consistent with that message in her frequency of visits to DD and your stepson. In the end I think it'll be MIL's loss and I wouldn't want to expose my girls to anti-girl sentiment more than necessary. Maybe she'll change her mind after getting to know your DD better but if she already has other granddaughters probably not.
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