What next?

KirstenAlecia · October 2014

Im assuming call and make an appt with the Dr. I heard from friends that they don't even want to see you till you are like 13 weeks along??

Maybe thats different for over 35. Blech...I have to wait till Monday to call and find out and i have so much anxiety my chest hurts.

Anyone know what i can expect so i can calm the eff down?

marijaa333 · October 2014

Yep! When they want to see you depends on the place. What specifically are you anxious about?

Here's how it's gone for me:

I went to my GP first (three days after the BFP), who ordered a quantitative pregnancy blood test, and she also had them do a nearly-complete blood panel, plus a urine test to check for infections. This is important to make sure your various levels are within range. If you had any pre-existing conditions, now's the time to remind her/him of these. Mine also gave me a little spiel about taking prenatals (she said any multivitamin was fine as long as there is enough folic acid in it), and told me roughly what to expect in terms of symptoms. She said small meals and lots of rest were going to be my friends in the coming weeks, which turned out to be VERY true. She also took me off two prescriptions I was on (for acne), and said that the topical med I was taking should be ok but it was category C so I should clear a new prescription from my OB first.

My OB saw me at 8 weeks for an U/S confirmation of pregnancy and to take my medical history. It was hard waiting for that appointment (for over a month!) to make sure things were progressing ok -- you may be lucky if you get to have an U/S around 8 weeks in that you'll avoid some of the waiting. I tried to remain patient during the wait by keeping things in perspective and trying to prepare myself to be ok with any outcome. Now that my OB confirmed all looked well at 8 weeks, I am way more invested. Seeing her and establishing a good rapport was reassuring; she refilled my acne med prescription (yay) and we chatted almost as if we were friends (bonded over music and film). I asked some questions regarding genetic testing and she gave me the basics but said it wasn't her specialty and referred me to the genetic counselor (I thought that was a great sign, that she didn't pretend she knew something she didn't). I'm telling you all this because a lot of women seem to settle for doctors they're not happy with and I would advise against it; it makes a huge difference to have confidence in the person tracking your pregnancy.

Next was a genetic counseling appointment at 9w6d - just a chat to go over my options and ask questions.

The outcome of that was the decision to have a CVS in a couple of weeks (our choice was to skip all the screens, but this route is by no means necessary!), along with a second OB appointment. I imagine that waiting for those CVS results will be quite the nail-biting time.

After that, the major milestone is the anatomy scan around 20 weeks, if I'm not mistaken.

In between all this, you have your personal (rational or not) anxiety, your husband's/partner's separate experience of adding the idea of pregnancy and parenthood to his identity (mine is supportive but VERY freaked out, so I almost have to reassure him), and the inevitable physical and emotional roller coaster brought on by the hormones. Finally, there are the decisions about telling work and family. I'm still struggling with figuring out that last one! All this to say, this uncertainty is NORMAL, and you will get through it and it will be OK.

Most of all, though, I found that so far, pregnancy has been manageable and has given me a great new perspective plus a few other bonus perks. We did a thread on pregnancy perks on my "birth month board" in case that cheers you up. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/84419026

marijaa333 · October 2014

PS If you find yourself worrying excessively, just STOP IT!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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Samuelismomma · October 2014

I had losses so blood work twice to check for rising hcg and progesterone as soon as I got + on stick. Then had u/s at 6 weeks and 8 for growth. That was this time , with DS was seen and did everything at 8 weeks. The only extra test I had due to age was the DNA blood test ( harmony, maternity21, etc) it checks for trisomies and sex( if you want) most insurance covers it because your over 35. It is called a screening testnow but is 99 % accurate (will change to diagnostic and insurance will pay once price goes down) and will be replacing cvs and amnio in the future. Good luck...so exciting to see you !!

NicoleWI · October 2014

Mine usually sees people at 8 weeks, unless you have early bleeding or other reason to do an HCG draw/early u/s. Good luck and welcome!

KirstenAlecia · October 2014

Ok so definitly calling Monday to get this baby ball rolling.

Thanks ladies. @Marijaa333 thank you for reminding me about prenatal vitamins....I should get those today. It sounds like you found an amazing dr. Im going to have to look into my options.

I am anxious for so many reasons. I recognize with the last PG "scare" i was terrified at the possibility then too.....and now its a reality. Honestly the the fear of how our lives are going to change. I think H and I had halfway (okay maybe more than halfway...like 3/4) resigned ourselves to a childless existence and were actually at peace with it. He was about to go do a SA and I was about to go make a dr appt to start the process of finding out if something was up with either one of us. If there was, we would not have sought any assistance or treatments of any kind.....we would have enjoyed the freedoms that a childless life comes with. While technically I'M not childless......but my daughter is 18 and its different. I was done with the "child" part of her life and moving on to a new stage.....time to START ALL OVER! lol. At least it will be with someone this time. I was never married to my daughters dad. We stayed together only through her first year. I keep telling myself it will be different.....it will be better!

My health is also a concern. I have been trying to get my weight under control. Im sure i will be told not to gain. I plan on continuing healthy eating of coarse and i have been exercising and will continue that as well.

marijaa333 · October 2014

It will be so much better! One, you've done this before, so you're an expert now compared to the first time around; two, it sounds like your husband and you get along super well, and that will be an enormous help when the baby arrives; and three, if you were going through the trouble of finding out if something was wrong, then that 1/4 of not-being-resigned means that some part of you both really wanted to experience bringing a new life into the world together.

But I understand about the loss of freedom. We are both concerned about it too; I just hope we can get lots of childcare support. My parents are thinking about retiring, and that would help enormously. Is there someone you can enlist to help?

As for your health concerns, I hope you will be able to enjoy the pregnancy without any issues - healthy eating and exercising sound like a great plan. You can do it and we'll be here rooting for you.

NeonNoon · October 2014

Waiting for the first appointment is really nerve wracking. Hang in there! Keeping busy sometimes helps. My OB didn't want to see me before 7 weeks. I went to see her around 9 weeks. It gets a lot better after the first appointment.

KirstenAlecia · October 2014

@Marijaa333 While we were resigned to the idea of no kids together......I know he wants to be a dad.

He really wanted to be a dad...I know it.

Today he told me the shock has subsided and he is now excited. It made me so happy to hear that. He is going to be amazing. He feels like the timing is perfect. We have been trying for a long time but feels like it was Gods plan. He was talking about work and how he was promoted to a different job in his company and that 2 raises in one year in unprecedented amounts for his company......... tells him this timing was meant to be.....I'm so glad he feels this way. It makes it a lot easier for me knowing that he is so excited.

Also lucky for us I am mostly a stay at home wife. I have my own photography business but that means i am home for the most part except for photo sessions or wedding which mostly happen on weekend when he is home. I think we are going to be just fine.

Now as long as my health stays ok i will be ok with the timing too

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