Destination bridesmaid w 3month old?

carter604 · October 2014

Hi ladies, I have a question for the been-there-done-that moms. A very good friend will be getting married in Mexico next August and would like me to be a bridesmaid. We are due in April and LO will be 3.5 months old at that time. My gut reaction is that I'll be busy with constant nursing and up multiple times in the night, and that spending $4,000 for DH and I to leave town at the most beautiful time of the year is not going to be worth it. She's also a very good friend and was amazingly helpful at our destination wedding. I've already suggested she consider late fall instead as we'll be ready for some hot weather and will have figured out the parenting thing a little better by then, but she's firm with the dates. Am I a crappy friend? Will I be able to make it work without killing myself? Would you say yes?

Flowerstar1023 · October 2014

Yea, I wouldn't do it. I'd send her a super nice gift and offer to help with her shower or some such instead.

schwabab · October 2014

I would decline. If she's a really good friend just get her a great gift and possibly co-host a shower for her.

kitc101 · October 2014

Flowerstar1023 said:

Yea, I wouldn't do it. I'd send her a super nice gift and offer to help with her shower or some such instead.

This! Plus, if she's a really good friend she will understand. You also won't really know how you'll feel until it gets closer, and generally trips need to be planned with more notice.

redneckmomma25 · October 2014

At 3.5 months dd was up 1x a night. It was pretty manageable. I would prefer travel with a younger baby. I did not even consider the vaccination thing until saltbox mentioned it and that would be a good reason to decline. If it were in the states, I'd say no problem.

taahira · October 2014

It wouldn't be that enjoyable for you. I agree I would try to take part in organization, bridal shower etc, I'm sure she will understand. Our LO is due April 6th, great friends of ours booked there wedding for May 16th, it's about a 4 hour drive away, and will require us being there the whole weekend. I have 2 school aged children, plus a new born 4 weeks after giving birth. I've already given my DH and our good friends, I may not be attending.

ScarletOflaherty · October 2014

You actually asked her to consider moving her wedding date to accommodate you?

Ooooook.

I've been to Cancun in August, it's really hot. Great if you plan to be in the pool or indoors most of the time, not so much if you plan to be outside a lot.

carter604 · October 2014

Thanks for the feedback! This helps firm up my decision - I'll plan to politely decline the trip but offer to host a kickass bridal shower

brookydj · October 2014

You may have already decided but just wanted you to know I took my first baby at 3 months to Mexico (in February) for my sister-in-laws (DH's sister) wedding. It was actually a great vacation. There was lots of family and friends there who were more than willing (fighting over) watching the babe if I wanted to go for a dip in the ocean, a quick lunch or stroll on the beach with hubby. At that age they still sleep a lot during the day, which means you can read, relax and have a vacation from your usual grind at home without any guilt. She was exclusively nursing at the time so didn't pack anything for her except my breast pump, clothes and diapers! We had a little shade tent that she napped in on the beach. It was great. I was incredibly nervous going into it but had a great time. Whether you're up at night at home or on a holiday....I would rather be having sleepless nights in a beautiful location where I can nap on the beach the next day instead of worrying about laundry at home!

abiatkinson · October 2014

I think it would be fun and not impossible at all. If you're going to be exhausted somewhere... Why not while on vacation! To me this age is kind of nice. Up once or twice at night and still sleeping a lot in the day. Also this is before the sleep fighting stage and babies are usually more willing to sleep in your arms, in a sling, in a stroller, than an older baby who fights sleep and needs their routine to make it happen.To me it was a nice age. My only concern would be vaccinating. I guess I would ask a pediatrician before I made a decision.

xuxachi · October 2014

If you're still thinking about it, I'd also consider going. Travel with a 3 mo is really not too bad. They are transportable and starting to sleep well and feeding is kind of set. That the wedding is in August when the weather is hot is unfortunate, but you can't do anything about that. If she's a good friend like you say, go for it!

LBoyce11 · October 2014

I'd go! She supported you during your destination wedding, this trip is about supporing her. Yes, things will be trickier with a baby, but life goes on.

mrsmopar67 · October 2014

No way dude. Not to Mexico. No thanks.

JaneShops · October 2014

Me personally, I'd decline
But since she's super close, & helped so much with your wedding. I agree with PP & would offer to host an amazing Pinterest worthy shower. Even a bachelorette would be tough with the baby timing

erikaluna01 · October 2014

You never know if your baby will be colicky. My DD had it the first 4 months. She was miserable and made us all miserable. No way I would travel with her in that condition. However, if a baby doesn't have colic and is otherwise healthy, it's the perfect age to travel. They're not mobile so you're not racing after them or eating solids. Packing for a 3 m.o. is far easier than an older baby imo. It sounds like you decided to decline which is the safest decision.

bowman958 · October 2014

I was a "no" at $4000.

bsdub · October 2014

My best friend had a 4 mth old and left her baby at home because of money issues when she was in my wedding. She pumped like crazzzzy for the whole week. But I think if it's a good friend and has been there for u, maybe u should repay the favour.

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