PgAL brain is kicking in...

nocompass · October 2014

I'm pretty sure I'm 6w4d today.

At this time in August I began spotting and had an u/s. That was the first u/s where we saw our Blip's heartbeat. I had so so so much hope in that. I was thinking we were clear & my baby would be ok.

On 7w3d the spotting became heavier and Blip heartbeat had slowed down, but was still beating. I was still holding on to hope.

On 7w5d Blip didn't have a heartbeat.

This new pregnancy feels different. I feel different. I am having more symptoms and they are much stronger. But...I can't find the hope in that. My first u/s is next Friday. I'll be 7w5d. If there is a heartbeat I'm considering asking the u/s tech not to show us or not to let us hear. I think I want to wait until later.

I hate I don't trust my body anymore.

...apologies if this is considered a Dear Diary post. I just feel like I could use some hugs today.

kreardon11 · October 2014

Try to remain calm until you see your doc. I tend to be quite obsessive during pregnancy and I am trying my HARDEST to just focus on keeping myself healthy. It's incredibly hard but for me, it's necessary. T&Ps to you for an uneventful 9 months!

Mom2anAngel2 · October 2014

((HUGS)). It's easier said than done, but try to take a deep breath and not compare pregnancies. Each one is (and feels) so different. Sending you many good vibes for a wonderful scan.

NoeliaV · October 2014

Sending you ((( hugs ))) and hope for a very uneventful and healthy pregnancy.

carlsonbaby2014 · October 2014

Many ((((((((((hugs)))))))))).

Courtney1741 · October 2014

Sending you so many ((hugs)) it is such a difficult road to travel!!

lyndz333 · October 2014

Sorry that you can't sit back and enjoy your pregnancy.

Seding lots of hugs to you today!

BackstreetPixie · October 2014

::hugs:: It is really hard to feel hopeful. Hang in there. I am only now at 15w starting to feel hopeful.

KikiCohen · October 2014

Hugs! PgAL is so hard to get rid of! FX for a healthy, happy, uneventful pregnancy!

luciddreamer106 · October 2014

((Hugs)) PGAL is hard. Remember the mantras... This pregnancy is not your last pregnancy.

KJsbabe · October 2014

((Hugs)) those early weeks are so hard. Hang in there. I hope you have a great u/s.

pblge · October 2014

Sending big (((hugs))). The loss milestones are so difficult, but you'll feel better once you're past!

nocompass · October 2014

Thank yall so much! I'm feeling better tonight. I made it through the day with minimal tears, no spotting, and new makeup.

peggels24 · October 2014

((hugs))

longcat07 · October 2014

PgAL brain is so tough...during a time when we should be able to just be elated, we're all freaking out and worrying all the time. it's hard to take a step back and be calm when you have no idea how things are going. for me, i was freaking out because i had hardly any symptoms...it totally messed with my head. try to take a deep breath and use some of the mantras. "today i am pregnant and i love my baby." it's still hard, but i found that it helped me feel a little steadier when i got overwhelmed with not having any knowledge or control. hang in there. (((hugs)))

beemaya83 · October 2014

Sending many hugs your way. PGAL brain gets the best of us sometimes, but try to stay positive. FX for a great scan!

smcniff · October 2014

PgAL brain is the worst. Take it one day at a time, that is all you can do.

((hugs))

Samuelismomma · October 2014

Sending hugs that you have smooth, un eventful pregnancy:)

Danielle0311 · October 2014

You are totally justified in feeling this way, PGAL is so hard ((hugs)) just keep reminding yourself that this is a different pregnancy and take it day by day

alleycat39 · October 2014

Sending many positive thoughts your way for a positive experience in your next ultrasound. It is so hard not to compare pregnancies, but it isn't a fair comparison. (hugs) during these next few weeks.