Single Parents
Monkeybird84
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Not really sure how to handle this...
Monkeybird84
member
My dad went with me on Tuesday to the CS enforcement office in my town. We got some new info, but really didn't get anywhere while we were there. The case worker called BD's cell, and actually talked to him after we left. BD said he doesn't want to take a DNA test b/c he doesn't want his name in any database (crazy and stupid, I know, but that's how he is), wanted the case worker to give me his number saying he wanted to talk to me. I stewed on that info for a while and finally texted him over 4 hours after i got his number. What I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around is some of the things he said to me. Please excuse the grammar in his parts... I'm copying it from my phone exactly how he sent it to me.
Me: This is J. I'm not going to call you b/c I want to keep our conversations documented.
BD: oh well that is a switch considering the whole time you wanted nothing from me including contact with the child. why now the change?
Me: What switch? I've been trying to get child support started for almost 2 years. And as I recall you're the one who didn't want to be around if he didn't have your name. I never told you that you couldn't be part of his life. I also told you the day he was born that I'd be going after CS... the same convo where you asked for my info so you could send what you could afford,and I haven't seen a penny.
BD: is it or is it not true you did not want me there at the hospital when he was born?
Me: No I didn't want you there, because you would have done nothing but stress me out. I never said you couldn't see him after he was born.
BD: under what terms would you have allowed that to happen?
Me: Someone else I trust being in the room, too
BD: i spoke with marianna this morning. why wait till now to text me?
Me: Didn't get your number from the case worker till almost 4 and I have nearly 2 year old,very active boy to take care of.
BD: ah so he is a pistol.
Me: Yeah, you've missed a lot.
BD: no i didn't miss anything spend all this time trying to get him to walkie talkie. now it's trying to get silence and stillness.
Me: Now that's a shame. I see I was right. You never cared about him.
BD: next hurdle potty training.
Me: We'llhandle that when he's ready for it.
BD: now you're assuming
Me: No,I'm reading between the lines. Isn't that what you always do? I was really just going on how you said what you said.
BD: and to be perfectly honest he might get to see me 10 days out of a year at best. i basically live on the road.
Me: Honestly, that's your problem.You do realize, though, that he'll never know you like that.
BD: why do you think then i never made any contact. stopped me from making promises i knew couldn't be kept.
Me: That's fine by me. It's your relationship with Kieran that'll suffer for that. You're gonna be the one regretting that when he gets older and wants nothing to do with you.
Sorry this got so long. I started to only pick out parts of the text convo, but then some of the important info would have gotten cut out. The highlighted parts are what's been eating me up the last few days. I've discussed all I'm going to with him... not revisiting this convo, just need to get my head around it so I can put it behind me, I guess.
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Re: Not really sure how to handle this...
Get the money your LO deserves and leave the ball in his court. Keep doing your thing - which is amazing considering you've been on your own without his help for so long!