When To Tell Partner It's Almost Time?

hidingangel82 · October 2014

MH is of the opinion that the moment I think I feel a real contraction, to the hospital we go!
Needless to say, I won't be telling him til I am 1000% sure we're on our way.
How soon will you be telling your support person once it starts?
FTM, so I'm sure my marvelous plans will go out the window as soon as the ish hits the fan, so I'm curious about the rest of you...

ETA: hangs head in shame... somehow I left off my fave option, SS...

uncharted01 · October 2014

I'll tell him as soon as I think I'm having contractions, but I plan to labor at home for as long as possible before heading to the hospital... I didn't know which option to pick lol

wildflower75 · October 2014

I'll tell him if my water breaks otherwise I will probably wait out contractions for a while.

hidingangel82 · October 2014

This is why I've never made a clicky poll, pregnancy brain + creativity don't mix!

And omg, I committed the sin of leaving off SS! I'm a bad, bad bumpy.

howin23 · October 2014

It depends whether I'm with him or not. If we're together, say in the evening or on the weekend, I'll tell him as soon as I feel something. If he's at work, on the other hand, I won't tell him until I think it's serious enough to interrupt him and tell him to come home.

abbyful · October 2014

From 5-1-1 to baby was about 4 hrs with DS. (Could have been 3 hrs if I would have gotten down to business when it was time to push). So I voted "when contractions get regular". We'll wait until 5-1-1 to head to the hospital, but he needs to be aware & ready to take me.

FWIW, my water didn't break until pretty close to birth with DS. (And my neighbor's water never broke with her youngest, baby came out in the sac!)

absolutelymaybe · October 2014

Eh, he hears about my swollen feet, aching back, sore hips, every time I puke, every time I get a cramp (I'm a joy to be around)... I wouldn't keep contractions from him. He's not the type to freak out though.

mander82 · October 2014

I explained to DH the 5-1-1 thing and he replied with "well do these contractionis hurt?" I said....um...yeah....from what I understand they hurt like hell.

lol.....so I don't plan on going to the hospital til I get to that point.

AnnieRoo13 · October 2014

We had this conversation this morning!

I asked my OB and she said she doesn't really follow any of the magic formulas (4-1-1 etc.). She advises to labour as long as you can at home and come in when you can't take the pain any longer since everyone is different. Either that or when your water breaks. I told DH what she said and he replied that she didn't know what she was talking about and we were going in on the first contraction. Ya......

highbornhunter · October 2014

I'll let DH know right away. He is pretty much aware of every little twitch and ache as it is. We are also getting a doula and we need to give her so much notice to get to us. I'm planning to labor at home until 5-1-1 at least - Our hospital is not far away.

abbyful · October 2014

mander82 said:
I explained to DH the 5-1-1 thing and he replied with "well do these contractionis hurt?" I said....um...yeah....from what I understand they hurt like hell.

lol.....so I don't plan on going to the hospital til I get to that point.

Mine didn't hurt at that point. It had to convince DH that it was time, because he expected me to be in great pain. I was 6cm when we checked in. I asked the nurse "so I'm really in labor?" and she laughed (nicely) at me.

My contractions didn't really hurt until about 2 hrs before DS was born.

lil_shocker · October 2014

There will be a couple other factors, too. Will I be gbs positive? Am I already dilated/effaced and if so, how much? What am I doing for pain?

With my son I called at 5-1-1 and because I was completely thinned out and 4 cm and gbs positive, we went in at that point. You can talk to your providers about when they would like you to go, and if your partner isn't one to freak out, you could tell them when you start noticing them. If they tend to feeak out, I would wait until they were regular to tell.

soulcupcake · October 2014

I'm not sure when I'll call or text my midwife. When they seem like the real deal. I could time them, of course, but when they seem like they could be labor contractions, it usually means birth is near.

I *really* hope it's later at night, because if DH is at work he may not make it home. I'd call my midwife as soon as it seemed like I was in labor.

mander82 · October 2014

abbyful said:

mander82 said:
I explained to DH the 5-1-1 thing and he replied with "well do these contractionis hurt?" I said....um...yeah....from what I understand they hurt like hell.

lol.....so I don't plan on going to the hospital til I get to that point.

Mine didn't hurt at that point. It had to convince DH that it was time, because he expected me to be in great pain. I was 6cm when we checked in. I asked the nurse "so I'm really in labor?" and she laughed (nicely) at me.

My contractions didn't really hurt until about 2 hrs before DS was born.

Oh I hope this is the case for me!

MindyAndRyan · October 2014

I'm a special snowflake, since I am a scheduled c-section on 10/28. (Holy smokes, that is 11 days away!) Surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am, and we have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am. Ryan and I are NOT morning people at all. I have to get up at 4:30 and shower with special bodywash before going in, so that'll probably be the point that I'll have to turn the lights on, pull off Ryan's eye mask, pull off his blankets, and pull him out of bed while yelling "WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD, IT IS OUR SON'S BIRTHDAY!"

TeeJ526 · October 2014

Shoot... I tell him about the irregular contractions I have now so I'll tell him when they become regular as well. I'm just hoping to be at home when that happens and not at work.

runningmama14 · October 2014

We took Bradley classes together, so I feel like DH is well educated on the stages of labor. I don't think he'll push me to go to the hospital too early, so I will probably be telling him at the first hint. Not because I need him to be at my side, just because I tend to tell him about most of my day anyway.

jj0313 · October 2014

I didn't pick one of the above. I will tell him as soon as I start having contractions and if he isn't at home we will have a convo based on what we learned in our birthing classes about when he comes home. I want to labor at home as long as possible and I want him there as support. I'm not going this alone! Haha.

angelajo19 · October 2014

I chose when my contractions get regular, but last time I had no warning and my water broke in the middle of the night. I woke him up and he told me to go back to bed and sleep it off because id be better in the morning...cuz, you know, that's how having a baby works.

jj0313 · October 2014

I mean, I tell him every time I'm not comfortable on the couch-I can't imagine I'm going to keep this to myself. But we will see!

sparklingwhit · October 2014

Ya, I'm a BSC FTM here. I'm pretty sure I've told DH "something is happening" at least a dozen times already. Oh, and nothing, I MEAN NOTHING, has actually come of any of this :P

sparklingwhit · October 2014

I should clarify that we haven't gone to the hospital or anything yet. I just like to make sure he knows that I think that maybe, something might possibly happen in the foreseeable future. LOL...

lovingaddi · October 2014

I voted once they start becoming regular, but really SS.

If we are together/at the same place, I'll tell him when they start (if they are bad enough to be "real")...although he will probably be able to tell if I'm in pain lol. If I'm at work then I'll probably time them for an hr at least before mentioning it.

alibissell · October 2014

I started having contractions at 7pm, but they were so irregular I didn't tell DH until 9:30, at which point I said "Go grab some sleep...we're having this baby tomorrow!" At 1:30am I woke him up, told him to call his parents to watch our son, and said "It's Baby time!" My contractions were about 4 minutes apart at that point. By the time we got to the hospital things moved quickly (DD was born within 2.5 hrs). This time around my doc told me not to wait so long

dbgwife · October 2014

I feel like a special snowflake here. This is our third and I just plan to do what I've done with my girls. Once they get to the point where it's hard to focus on anything other than the pain we'll go. I've been having contractions for the past 4 days now that are time-able but not to the level I know they need to be at. But this is my third go, and I already have a feel for where my body needs to be before it's time for the hospital. Quite honestly I'm praying they get worse now because 4+ days of this has been miserable! I never had pains like this drag on for days. Typically it's been contractions and then later that day hospital.

MalachiteDrake · October 2014

My husband's response to labor questions:

"Are you likely to go into labor in any hour of the day? Then I'll likely be at work." (He works at a 24 hr place and gets called in at all odd times fairly regularly.)

My support people for the actual birth are my two friends, anyway. They both live a half-hour away and I plan to wait until I'm headed to the hospital before bothering either one of them to make the drive out. My mom is sticking close to me in these last few weeks so there's always a driver handy (I don't drive in general and with my belly, I'm not sure I could fit well behind the wheel anyways.) I'll likely head to the hospital (five minutes from my house) once I hit 5-1-1, the pain gets to be too much, or my water breaks, whichever of the three comes first.

SarahHeck · October 2014

I have no idea! I've been having contractions off and on all week. They are starting to feel more "real" too. I almost went in the other night because I had them for a few hours. I feel like I want to tell H pretty quick, but at the same time I don't want to give him a false alarm at work or have my mom drive all the way over to watch DD for no reason. I just am really hoping he's home when it happens.

kayd8 · October 2014

I like questions like these because I like reading everyone's answers!

When I think I'll do and what I'll actually do will probably be two different things. I'll probably wait to say anything until I know what's going on. If he's at work, I'm wondering if I should tell him early so he knows that he needs to wrap up anything time sensitive because he won't be back immediately.

After our childbirth class, he said to me, "We aren't going to be sent home." He's completely on board with laboring at home as long as we can, for comfort and for progression. I don't see him freaking out and wanting to go early. Of course, since that's our plan, my water will probably break and I'll be admitted with no contractions and need augmentation. lol!

DoubleUp8 · October 2014

My OB said wait to call office/on-call-doctor until 5-1-1. I would like to labor at home as long as possible and DH knows that. I know he doesn't want to go to the hospital and be sent home, so I think he will be happy to stay home until it is really go time!

Livingthemommylife · October 2014

My hubby is on the same page as me. I plan on laboring at home as long as we can before heading out. He's a go with the flow sort of guy. So he's totally on board and will wait until I tell him, let's go. But if I get normal contractions I'll be telling him right away if it's during a workday because his job is an hour away, and this being my third and my last one was 4 hrs, I could progress pretty quickly.

morrkim · October 2014

Last time I labored all day at work and wasn't going to tell him till I got home because I wasn't sure, but he called me so I told him. This time I will have to tell him sooner because dr wants me to come in around 8 minutes apart since its twins.

hjenni · October 2014

I tell him about all my pains and discomforts so I'll probably tell him early on. However, neither of us want to go in unless we're sure it's real. He knows the 5-1-1 rule and he freaks out way less than I do.

aa98 · October 2014

I plan on telling him once they are somewhat regular though if he's home he may notice well before that. If he's at work, it will depend on where he is that particular day, if he's close by, I'll wait longer, if he is further away, I'll call him early on. If it happens this weekend while he's out of town, I'll call him as soon as I feel a "real deal" contraction as he's got to get his butt on a plane

shindylahoe · October 2014

Since my last two labors were >5 hours I will tell him when they are regular so we can get the kids where they need to go.

joshua+rebecca11 · October 2014

If DH is at work, I'll tell him when they get regular and real, there really isn't any point in him coming home if they're mild and slow. I will get more done around the house and ready if he isn't there.

My doula will know before him if he's at work when it starts, because I'll be calling her to see if she thinks if sounds like the real deal!
If he's home, I'm sure I'll mention that I seem to be having contractions regularly, so he'd know earlier on.

phdprocrastinator · October 2014

I've already been in since I've been having hella BH contractions. The first time I was still 33 weeks and had had contractions throughout the night. They were not quite 5-1-1, but when I called L&D they wanted me to go in. So he knew all night what was happening.

Second time, I sent him a text at work when I was having minute-long contractions every 5-7 minutes so he'd be prepared to come home if needed. I ended up at 4-1-1 with no pain for several hours. L&D said not to go in, but it got to the point that neither of us was going to get any sleep. DH told me he really wanted the peace of mind, so we went in. (Felt vindicated that I was, indeed, having contractions every 4 minutes. Terribly silly since there was no pain. I was 35 weeks at that point, but they would have not tried to stop labor).

I've still been having regular periods of 4-1-1 despite drinking so much water, resting as much as is humanly possible.

With DD, it was so easy. I hardly had BH. Had my first real contraction, told DH that it was happening, and labored at home until 4-1-1. By then, there would have been no way to keep it from DH, as I was moaning through the contractions.

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