Feeling blah and need encouragement

babydom2015 · October 2014

So I just need to vent to some ladies who know where I'm coming from because this morning I'm really feeling resentful towards DH and his lack of sympathy, even though I know in all reality he hasn't a clue LOL. Anyway in addition to all the wonderful early pregnancy symptoms, I have quit smoking and am tapering off Effexor (antidepressant med) so my withdrawal symptoms in addition to the pregnancy symptoms are making me want to lose it! So like I said I just needed to vent to some ladies who totally get it! ❤️

ksimo6 · October 2014

Unfortunatly, the pregnancy probably isn't "real" for him yet. Would he be open to reading a book? I bought my husband one that gave him the low down on what was happening with his baby and his wife by month. It was short and gave him the basics... I think it helped him understand WHY I had to pee all the time... and why I would sit and cry while wtahcing the Voice (I was SO PROUD OF THEM). Just a thought. Hang in there mama. It's not easy!

dirtymartini · October 2014

Sounds like a lot to deal with quitting smoking AND tapering off Effexor. Hang in there- both of these, compounded with early pregnancy symptoms is a huge accomplishment and you should be really proud of yourself. Seriously.

DH will come around, it's probably not 'real' to him yet. Wait till he sees the baby on ultrasound.. that's what has made it a lot more 'real' to my DH. He's like amazed by me after actually getting to see what I am growing inside me LOL.

dirtymartini · October 2014

mrsjac1210 said:

Have you had you're first ultrasound yet? That helped my hubby the last time. We left the drs office and he felt more like "yes, we're going have a baby" Before the appointment, he just didn't get it. I know this doesn't help now, but hang in there. And if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always find that here.

LOL! Men...sometimes they just. don't. get. it. They have to see to believe. I can't wrap my head around it but it's so true.

beemaya83 · October 2014

I think this holds true for my DH. He says he still can't beleive it. Hoping that our first ultrasound will have reality set in.

jbartsy · October 2014

I think a lot of men are like that in the beginning, and it comes off as being even more cold and insensitive to us because we're super sensitive right now. In the first week after my BFP when I was feeling a little off, my husband had the nerve to say "you're not even really pregnant yet". Oooooo. He's gotten better now though, even though it's only been a couple weeks. Your hubs will come around, and in the meantime, we get it.

And that's so great that you quit smoking! Hang in there!

awheeler4311 · October 2014

I'm so with you on this @babydom2015‌ - I also quit smoking as soon as I found out (boy that was super fun...! Even more fun when the DH still goes outside for a smoke!)... We also quit coffee, WINE, steak, sushi, WINE, lunch meat, WINE and all of the other awesome things in life (I'm so dramatic!). The hormones mixed with that plus my anxiety is tough. My thoughts are with you on the meds, I've heard it's so tough on its own. I sometimes wonder how relationships make it through pregnancy and if my marriage is strong enough for this.... Some days he's cute and thoughtful other days like today he's a complete ass and disregards everything and makes me feel like I'm blowing my symptoms out of proportion. Like everyone else said, I'm hoping the first ultra sound is the real world kicker he needs. Hang in there and know that you're not alone!!! Try to take a few deep breaths before you speak... And make sure you're taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself. It's important!!

Add: can't forget the WINNEEE and alcohol we give up!!

weluvbabymae · October 2014

You are SO STRONG to be making those big steps and coming off that stuff right now!!! Good for you!!!

I don't know if this is your first pregnancy but if it is then in my experience the husband doesn't really get it...ever... I was just talking to my husband about this over the last weekend. This is my second healthy pregnancy and he was just telling me how he remembers what things were like the first time and how he is going to help out more and pick up more of the load and how I would start to feel better in the second trimester... Blablabla... So I think it becomes a lot more real for them if they have lived it before.

We have already had our first ultrasound this time and as soon as we walked out of the dr office hubby said that now it was real and he was excited.

One other thing that I believe to be true is that women fall in love with their babies when they learn they are pregnant and that is when your maternal instinct starts to set in. Men really do not fall in love with the baby until they are able to hold them in their arms.... So I think this adds to is women feeling like men "don't get it" during our pregnancies.

Just my two cents...

finchfeeder80 · October 2014

My hubs is hit or miss. He won't let me pick anything up but when I complain about being tired or done at the end of the day I still end up cooking dinner and/or doing the dishes. Kudos to you for taking all that on at once! I hope things start looking up for you soon!

MrsFriede · October 2014

My hubby still says he doesn't believe it, like he thinks me and the doctor are playing a joke. He doesn't kiss or hug me anymore even. It was HIS idea for me to go off the pill. Men are sometimes really dumb. I'm hoping my ultrasound (not until 10w2d... I'm 4w6d) will clue him in... Just hang in there and only think of the positives, YOU are making a baby and that is awesome!

babydom2015 · October 2014

Thank you all! I think my hormones are still making me feel angry towards him but I'm not venting that to him right now, I think once we have our first doc appointment and U/S he will get it . Then I can yell at him after that if he's not supportive lol

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