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January 2015 Moms
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Did that just happen?? (warning:infant death related)

LadyXaverianLadyXaverian member
in January 2015 Moms
I'm in a lunch/advisory period, and out of nowhere a student just brings her iPad to me to show me a picture of her baby cousin who was a full-term stillborn, all dressed up, and in her coffin. Just shoved it right in my face. 

I am not sure how to feel. I really didn't need to see that, but of course I feel bad for my student and her family…

UGH. :(
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Our sweet girl is 3!


Lilypie - (R7Ux)


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Re: Did that just happen?? (warning:infant death related)

  • BookitBooBookitBoo member
    WOW.

    What grade do you teach again? I don't know if I could have handled that picture...

    Most likely IMO, she's just awkward and looking to connect/ reach out to you. I'm so sorry that happened :(
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  • TXUltraRunnerTXUltraRunner member
    I've never really understood taking pictures of stillborn babies but I've also never been in that position. Maybe she really was just looking for someone to talk to about it and thought a pregnant woman would be a logical place to start. I'm sorry if it upset you, pictures like that upset me too (and did before I was pregnant)


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  • EdventEdvent member
    Just wow, so sorry you had to see that :( Just the image any pregnant woman wants in her face. Does sound like maybe the student it looking for connection, but hopefully she's just young and does not realize that a pregnant lady is not the right place to find that right now. 
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  • southernyankeegirlsouthernyankeegirl member
    Wowww... How old is this student? Middle school, I'd just chalk it up to grieving. Starting in high school, I would probably first express my sincere condolences and then gently let her know that she might want to warn people as she doesn't know if someone will react poorly because of their own experiences with infant loss.

    Sorry you had that happen! That's startling and unnerving for anyone, but especially while pregnant.

    *** Loss (not mine) mentioned ***

    I have a high school friend who was due 4 weeks after me, after also battling with infertility. When I had messaged her in July to warn her that I was about to announce our pregnancy on Facebook, she told me it wouldn't sting to see my news because she also had good news. I was elated! And then she lost her baby suddenly at 18w due to a clotting issue. It has been brutal. She's a teacher and none of her students know about this - I can only picture how she'd react in your shoes. Oy vey!
    ************************SIGGY WARNING***********************

    Me: 29      DH:  32
    Off birth control March 2012 - Actively trying Sept 2012-April 2014
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    BFP on May 5th after Follistim & IUI #3
    Ryan Henry - born 1/10/15, 7 lb 5 oz, 20 1/4 inches

    NTNP for a sibling starting March 2015
    Waiting on cycle to resume while EBF


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  • LadyXaverianLadyXaverian member
    edited October 2014
    I understand why people take the pictures, and I even understand why they want to share the pictures. It was just such a shock because I wasn't expecting it at all. And yeah, she definitely reaches out for support in some unconventional ways and has tons of personal issues of her own. 

    I feel badly also because I didn't react at all, so she probably thinks I'm really cold-hearted. I just said I was so sorry for her loss but hardly looked up from what I was doing. 

    ETA: 10th grade so about 15 years old.

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    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


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  • karla1301karla1301 member
    Similarly, every once in awhile (just saw something yesterday too) someone will post a video on Facebook about some family that was on the news for carrying their super sick baby to term to experience their life for a few hours.  I think the story itself is a beautiful one but having dealt with a previous loss of my own daughter (I was 33 weeks along) it's like a unexpected stab to my heart every single time.  I don't click on the links obviously (unless I'm in the mood for a good cry), but usually the title and the accompanying picture are enough to bring back memories.  They can post whatever they want obviously and these posts aren't directed at anyone and I'm sure are meant to share the story but it does usually catch me off guard a bit. 

    You were caught off guard, anyone, pregnant or not, would feel sad at seeing the picture.

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  • LadyXaverianLadyXaverian member
    @southernyankeegirl That is so incredibly sad. :(

    It was infant loss/pregnancy loss awareness day recently, so many of my friends have been sharing their stories on FB and in other online communities, too. It's all very sobering and scary knowing that it can happen to anyone and out of nowhere. 
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    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


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