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Question for those of you who have parents that are re-married...

NatspoiledbratNatspoiledbrat member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
My dad's "fiancee" is making a huge deal out of being called grandma by my son.  I don't understand why she wants a title since other than seeing the baby twice (he is 2 months and she lives about 2 miles away), she has done little to nothing to act like his grandma.  They do not live together, but are planning on moving in together within the next 6 months.  He has been with her for about 4 years.  My mom says she doesn't mind, but I know that deep down inside it bothers her.  This all came up because she was actually upset that I didn't get her a gift or card for grandparents day!  Those of you that have step parents, what do your kids call them?
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Re: Question for those of you who have parents that are re-married...

  • whimsy515whimsy515 member
    I'm going through this right now! My Dad is in his 50's and his fiance is a couple years older than my DH, so 37. I'm not bothered by the age thing, but for some reason she wants DS to call her Grandma. It bothers me and it bothers my mom. I don't understand why someone so young wants that. During my pregnancy I mentioned that he can call her something else, but she was adamant about it. Now that DS is almost 5 months, she hasn't made a comment about it since.

    I just figured that once he's old enough to talk, I'll give him ideas of what to call her, have him pick one, and if she corrects him I'll say it's what he's comfortable with. 
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  • tbarker14tbarker14 member
    Both my DH and I come from a "broken family" my MIL has been married 3 times and each of the men played a vital part in my DH's life, and still continue to do so.

    So our solution was to have our daughter just have more grandparents however each of them have a different title. Such as, poppy, poppa, grandpa, nono, grandad, grandpere. Etc.

    My mom is grandmere (french) and my MIL is mmere (she wanted that) we have a grandma, as well.

    Perhaps if they are called differently it may not feel as weird as having the same title as your mom.

    Just an option... again do whatever you think is best!
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  • NatspoiledbratNatspoiledbrat member
    Yeah, my mom is Nani, and my dad is Popo.  And she wants to be Grandma, my issue is more the fact that she wants a title period.  Maybe I'm just too stubborn, but I guess I'll do what whimsy515 is going to do and let my son decide when the time comes.  I just feel like I'm always walking on egg shells with her.  She is so sensitive and I don't have time for that!  I shouldn't have to revolve parties and events around her possibly getting upset.....we are going through another ordeal with the baby's baptism too because she wants to make the cake!  AHHHHHHHHH!  I thought my ex's mom was the one that was going to be hard to deal with, little did I know!
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  • Ju111310Ju111310 member
    OP I don't think you're being stubborn or silly. My parents are divorced & both date/have relationships but aren't remarried. If one of them were to remarry, I wouldn't teach my LO to call them grandma/grandpa. That person didn't play a significant role in my life as a parent figure so they certainly aren't a "grandparent" to my child. If my child becomes attached to them and wants to make up a silly nickname for them, totally fine. But it won't be grandma/grandpa, granny, papa or anything to indicate grandparent status. Sorry, not sorry. That's just how I feel :-)
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  • 2goingon32goingon3 member
    FIL remarried and we have the kids call her nana. I think it really depends on the relationship, so if you're not comfortable with it, you'd either have to sit her down and tell her why, or give her a different title.
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  • nicolewhelannicolewhelan member
    My sister and I went through this when she had my nephew. My dad and his wife have been together for 15 years, but she's 6 years older than me...yeah. And on top of it, they have a 5 year old. She's never asked to be called grandma, we would never let it happen anyways, so we decided the kids will just call her Karen or however it comes out of their mouths. (and now they're getting divorced, so no worries there! LOL!) My mom is remarried and her husband did ask about being a grandpa apparently, but we shut that one down. He can be Jim and that's that. They've been married 4 years and we both do not like him (and they will probably be divorced in the next year as well). 

    FIL has started dating someone recently and I wonder if this same topic will come up if later on down the road they get married. She will not be a 'grandma' though. :) 

    I agree with @Ju11310 pick a silly nickname. Don't touch the traditional names :)

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